


Repair My Broken Wings

by darthenna



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Friends, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, I'm sorry Iker, M/M, Manipulation, Sexual Content, Tears, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 12:45:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 56,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2348897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthenna/pseuds/darthenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of violence, friendship and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'll post one of my old stories to get back into writing mood again. This is the story I created an LJ and AO3 account for in the first place. I'm going to edit/rewrite and post it here part by part.
> 
> Written for a prompt at footballkink2.

"He'll have the same as me," Iker tells the waiter.

Fernando just nods and smiles politely. He's glad Iker ordered for him, he wouldn't know what to order anyway. He doubts he'd even be able to talk to the waiter, considering how nervous he is. He hasn't been around so many people for so long. Iker had specifically chosen a table far from everyone else, but it still makes him anxious. Maybe they shouldn't have come? They would have better time at home.

Fernando glances at Iker. He seems moody and to avoid his gaze Fernando looks around at the other people in the restaurant.

"Iker, look," he says suddenly, "Isn't it Patricia there? Oh my God, yes, it's Patricia and David."

Fernando gets up, but Iker grabs his hand. "Where do you think you're going?" he hisses.

"To-to them, we haven't seen them in ages."

"Sit down," Iker orders.

Fernando complies. "But-but they're our friends, I thought..."

"Why are we here?" Iker interrupts.

Fernando lowers his head.

"I'll tell you why," Iker says, "Because you kept nagging me that we never go out, that our life has fallen into a boring routine, that we don't spend time with each other anymore. That's why we're fucking here. I worked all week and even today even though it's Saturday, but I took you out because I always try to please you, and now you want to fucking leave me and go to them?"

"I'm sorry," Fernando whispers.

"Damn, we'd better go before they spot us," Iker goes on ranting, "Where is that fucking waiter? Don't look at them!"

Fernando tries to focus his gaze on the tablecloth. Iker is right, they haven't been out together for so long. He doesn't even want to see David and Pati. He just wants to spend some time with Iker.

He tries to make himself as small as possible, so they won't notice him, but not a minute passes, when he hears his name pronounced in familiar female voice. "Fernando? Fernando! Iker! Guys, it's you!"

Iker throws a nasty glance at Fernando, then stands up smiling. "Patricia, what a surprise. Didn't expect to meet you here."

While Patricia hugs Fernando and Iker, David comes up too. "Wow, haven't seen you guys in ages. Where have you been?" he says, pulling first Fernando, then Iker into a hug. "How are you, Nando?"

"I'm fine." Fernando can't stop smiling. "Missed you, you dickhead," he says.

"Well, if you missed me, you could have at least called," David says and then turns to Iker, "How are you, Ikerchito? How do you tolerate this brat?"

Iker smiles. "You learn with years. Tell me about you."

"We're fine, we're fine. Finally found an evening free of our girls."

Patricia nudges him and David laughs.

"What about the other guys?" Fernando asks. "Do you see them?"

"We meet Nagore and Xabi almost every week," Patricia says, "Though Sergio and Pepe also come to visit often."

"Mr. Alonso is a serious man now," David rolls his eyes, "A respectable lawyer. And his wife runs a model agency."

"Yeah, we always knew she wasn't made to be an elementary teacher," Patrica laughs, "Sergio's still working in his radio station and Pepe... Well, Pepe is Pepe."

"They always ask about you, guys. Everyone misses you. We all wondered where you had disappeared," David adds.

"Well, then let's meet one day," Fernando suggests, "Are you free tomorrow? Come to visit us all together."

Fernando doesn't look at Iker, but knows that he's fuming. He's surprised at his own courage. He knows he's crossing all the borders. He knows he'll pay for this when they get home, but he can't help himself. "I'll write down our address. Tomorrow evening we'll be waiting for you."

"That'll be great," Patricia exclaims, "Consider David and me are already there. I'll tell the other guys."

Fernando beams at them, trying hard to ignore how Iker's gritting his teeth.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Nando, are you coming to Nagore's party tonight?" David shouted from the bathroom._

_"I don't know, I have a paper to prepare," Fernando answered._

_"Which is due to next month," David rolled his eyes, "You're such a nerd, Nando."_

_"Shut up. You're going only because it's Nagore's party. And Nagore is Patricia's friend."_

_"You shut up. I'm friends with Xabi too."_

_"Only because he's Nagore's boyfriend," Fernando laughed._

_"What are you trying to say, dickhead?" David said, sticking his head out of the bathroom door._

_"I'm not trying, I say that Patricia has you wrapped around her little finger," Fernando said, successfully avoiding the empty shampoo bottle sent flying towards him._

_"Bullshit," David cried indignantly._

_"Look, David, I love Pati and all... In the most brotherly and unstraight way possible, of course," Fernando said when David glared at him, "But don't you think that you let her control your life a little too much? I mean, you know her family, you know all her friends, you know the boyfriends and girlfriends of all his friends..."_

_"Fuck you, Torres. She hangs out with you, your childhood friend and the guy who works with him even more than with Nagore and me."_

_"Well, Nagore is always with us too," Fernando laughed, "Besides you're friends with Sergio and Pepe too, so shut up."_

_"Okay, I'm officially confused about who's who."_

_"The most important thing here is that Patricia owns you."_

_"Shut up."_

_"I don't know, maybe you like that, but when I have a partner, I'll never let him boss me around or control me. I have my life. My independence comes first," Fernando said, and when David was at safe distance, muttered, "As well as my dignity."_

_"By the way about partners," David said, deciding to ignore Fernando's speech, "Do you know who else is going to be at the party?"_

_"Patricia's second cousin?"_

_"Wrong," David grinned, "Iker Casillas."_

_Fernando's eyes shone. "Really?"_

_"Yeah, really," David smirked, "Do you still have a paper to prepare?"_

_Fernando threw the shampoo bottle at him. "I'm going to call Sergio and Pepe," he said, "Because you and Xabi are going to run after your respective girlfriends and leave me alone."_

~~~

_"Well, where is he?" Sergio said, downing his bear._

_"There, next to Xabi," Fernando whispered, "Don't look that way, he'll understand we're talking about him."_

_"Wait, next to Xabi?" Sergio asked, standing to have a better view, "The creepy guy?"_

_"Shut up, he's not creepy."_

_"Sorry, Nando, he is. David said so too, remember?"_

_"It's just the first impression. When you get to know him, you see that he's a great guy. David says so."_

_"You know the scientists have proven that the first impression is mostly right?"_

_Fernando snorted. "No, they haven't. Besides I didn't think he's creepy when I first saw him."_

_"That's because you thought he's hot."_

_Fernando wanted to answer, but instead let out a whimper. "Oh my God, Sergio, he's coming here. Shit, shit, what should I do? How do I look?"_

_Sergio was too busy laughing his ass off to answer._

_"Hi," Iker said, standing in front of Fernando._

_Fernando could just nod and then quickly added, "I-I mean, h-hi."_

_"Fernando, right?" Iker said._

_"You remember my name?" Fernando whispered._

_Sergio was already under the table from laughter._

_"Yeah, aren't you David's roommate?" Iker shrugged._

_Fernando nodded._

_"Enjoying the party?" Iker asked._

_Fernando nodded again._

_"Well, I guess I'll see you around," Iker said._

_Fernando nodded._

_"Oh God, it was priceless," Sergio said, when Iker had left and he had stopped laughing hysterically._

_"I ruined all my chances," Fernando sighed._

_"No, it was even cute how you went mute. Seriously," Sergio said._

_"That's because he's perfect," Fernando said convinced._

_"You mean creepy?"_

_"Stop it, Sergi."_

_"Fine," Sergio grinned, "Well, as you won't have any contact with the love of your life again tonight, you can't miss the chance of fucking your best friend. I suggest we go home. You can think of him when you're fucking me."_

_"You have a dirty mind, Mr. Straight Guy."_

_"Shut up, Nando, you made me gay. You'd better appreciate that you're the only man I'm gay for."_

_"Yeah, me and Jude Law," Fernando laughed._

_"What? He's got... um... beautiful eyes?"_

_"You're more gay than I am, Sergio. Let's go."_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando is looking out of the car window, daring a glance at Iker from time to time. His grip is tight on the steering wheel and Fernando tries to guess how much it will hurt when they get home. He hopes Iker won't just fuck him rough and make him sleep on the floor, next to the bed again, saying that he doesn't deserve to sleep with him, like he does sometimes when Fernando fucks up. The first time he did it, Fernando spent the night crying his eyes out and earning kicks from Iker, whenever he woke him up.

That's the thing with Iker. You know you're going to be punished, you just don't know how. He's unpredictable. Fernando knows it can go from something small as just a slap to broken ribs. Sometimes Iker doesn't even touch him, but thinks of another way of punishment. Like that time when he made Fernando ask permission and give explanation for every little thing. _Iker, I'm thirsty, can I drink some water, please? Iker, I'm hungry, can I eat something, please? Iker, I'm tired, can I go to sleep, please? Iker, can I go to the bathroom, please? Why? I need to pee. Okay, you can. No, you can't._ Sometimes he said no just for the hell of it. It went on for whole two weeks, while Iker was on holiday. When he finally said that the punishment was over, Fernando started crying from happiness. He didn't even try disobeying. He knew the consequences would be graver.

Fernando wishes they would just keep on driving, but it takes only half an hour till they arrive at their beautiful house. Iker doesn't speak, as he didn't during the whole drive, he just parks the car and goes to the door. Fernando follows him silently, listening to the mad beating of his heart in his ribcage.

Iker slaps him hard, as soon as he closes the door and turns to him. Fernando wasn't expecting it, so he staggers a little and presses his back to the wall.

"Iker, I-I thought it w-would be nice, if..."

He doesn't get to finish as Iker yanks at his hair and pulls Fernando to himself, hissing into his face, "You knew it would piss me off, but you still threw yourself on fucking Villa like the slut you are and invited all of your useless friends to my house."

Fernando wants to say that they were Iker's friends too, but the older man knees him on the stomach, making him choke on his words. Fernando grunts and falls down. It's no use to remain standing; Iker will hit you until you fall, so it's better to do it after the first blow to spare yourself more pain.

There is also no use in arguing with Iker, because he will never listen to you. So Fernando just whispers, "I'm sorry," then lowers his head, expecting another slap.

The little voice inside him that used to urge him to fight back has been silent for a long time. He never listened to it anyway. He's happy for it. What if Iker gets mad and throws him out? Where will he go? What will he do? How will he live? He depends on Iker too much to fight back to him.

However, instead of slapping him, Iker's hand finds its way to his hair again. "As you're already on your knees," he smirks, pressing Fernando's face to his crotch, "You can as well suck me off. And you'd better make it good or else..."

"I'll make it good, I'll make it good," Fernando promises with trembling voice and starts fumbling with Iker's belt.

He lowers his pants and underwear and takes Iker's cock into his mouth. He starts working his tongue around the shaft and is greatly relieved when Iker moans and pulls his hair tighter. If he's enjoying this, he won't punish him too severely. Fernando starts sucking more eagerly and is awarded by a sharp tug at his hair. Thankfully, he knows by heart how to push Iker's buttons and it doesn't take too long until he's coming hard into Fernando's mouth. The younger man swallows it all and pulls back, waiting patiently what he will be required to do later.

"You're lucky you're so good at this," Iker says, "And that I'm too tired and want to sleep."

He turns back, heading to the stairs. Fernando gets up and follows him. When they reach the bedroom door, Iker finally looks at him. "Do you think you deserve to sleep in the bed next to me like a decent man?"

Fernando's lips tremble. "Please, Iker," he begs.

Iker thinks for a minute, then smirks again. "I'm too kind to you, but fine, you can sleep in the guest room."

"Thank you," Fernando whispers gratefully and almost runs to the other bedroom.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Iker pulled back from Fernando, licking his lips, and climbed on the couch. "Well, how did you like it?" he smiled._

_"Are you kidding me?" Fernando said panting, "You could just look at me and I would still be the happiest man in the world."_

_"Oh, why didn't you tell me before, baby? Why did you wait for so long?"_

_Fernando blushed. "Well, first I was too self-conscious and thought you would never like me and then we became friends and I didn't think it was appropriate."_

_Iker looked at him disbelievingly. "You thought I wouldn't like you? Do you own a mirror? You're the most gorgeous human being I've ever known."_

_Fernando's blush went deeper. "Really?" he whispered._

_"Of course. If it weren't true, I wouldn't be giving you blowjobs."_

_"So you're okay with giving blowjobs to your friends?"_

_"Only to you, honey. We're more than friends now, aren't we?"_

_Fernando thought he could die from happiness. "Are we?" he whispered._

_"If you want to. We can be together if you want it. I'm all yours. I'll make your every wish come true. I'll make you happy. Just tell me what you want and it will be done."_

_"I want only you," Fernando said, coming closer, "You're everything I need."_

_Iker kissed him gently and started playing with his hair. Fernando almost purred from pleasure, half-closing his eyes._

_"You also have to stop fooling around with Sergio," Iker said._

_"Sure," Fernando shrugged, "It's only sex with him and friendship. You could say we're friends with benefits. But I'll end that for you."_

_"Thank you, baby," Iker kissed him again, "We're going to be so happy together. I'm so glad you finally told me. You will never regret you chose me."_

_Fernando sighed happily. "I'm sure I won't," he said._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your comments and kudos. I'm really happy you're liking it.

To Fernando's surprise Iker goes out in the morning despite it's Sunday and Fernando has all day to prepare to meet the guests. He looks in the fridge. It's full as always, as Iker doesn't like to go shopping for groceries and buys everything at once. He settles for traditional dishes. He'll make gazpacho - it's David's favorite, Fernando smiles, remembering how much Patricia teased him for that - and tapas - Sergio loves them. If there is time, he'll make also paella. Who doesn't like paella?

When Iker returns in the evening, Fernando is scared for a moment that he'll do something to call the dinner off, but Iker is in a surprisingly good mood and has even brought drinks and sweets.

"Hey, baby," he says, pecking Fernando on the lips, "Are you going to meet the guests in this shirt?"

"Is something wrong with it?" Fernando asks warily.

"It's hideous," Iker says, "You'd better wear the blue one, the one I bought for you, remember?"

"Sure," Fernando says, "Just a minute."

When he comes down wearing the blue one, Iker smiles widely.

"You look good now," he says, kissing the younger man.

Fernando feels happier than he has in a long time. He hugs Iker gratefully, and when the doorbell rings, they go to open the door together, Fernando's heart beating loudly in his chest.

Pepe pulls Iker into a hug as soon as the door is opened and Patricia hits him on the back, crying that it's her turn. Fernando feels like it was just yesterday when they last met and not years ago. Pepe leaves Iker to Patricia and hugs Fernando.

"I shouldn't have come, because I'm still officially offended that you just disappeared, but I couldn't miss the chance to eat something delicious," he shouts into his ear.

Xabi and Nagore are as always the most reserved and polite of the group, but Xabi's eyes soften when he looks at Fernando. "You haven't changed a lot," he smiles.

"But still you seem different," Nagore adds, "Both of you."

The last one to greet them is Sergio. He hugs Iker briefly and then looks at Fernando with a smile that seems almost sad. When they hug, Fernando understands how much he missed him. His hands around Fernando fit perfectly and his scent is so familiar. It reminds Fernando of home, of his childhood, of times when he was truly happy.

"Missed you," Sergio murmurs.

Fernando used to like his voice so much. "Me too," he whispers.

Iker clears his throat. "Let's go to the living room," he says and no one but Fernando notices the ice in his tone.

"Jealous?" David jokes.

"Wouldn't you?" Iker laughs.

"I would," Patricia says.

~~~

"Well, what you guys are doing these days?" Xabi asks while helping himself with tapas.

"Iker has become the financial director of the company he's working at," Fernando says.

Pepe whistles. "Impressive. And you, Nando?"

"Nothing in particular," Fernando mumbles.

"What about your job?" Sergio asks surprised.

"I quit it," Fernando says, looking down.

"Wow, Nando's become a house-husband," David says loudly to deafen the uncomfortable silence, "Who'd have thought? You never once did the dishes when we were living together."

"Sorry," Fernando murmurs.

David raises his eyebrows in surprise, but says nothing.

"But you loved your job," Sergio says.

Fernando just shrugs with a forced smile on his face.

"He loves me more," Iker says, wrapping his arm around Fernando's shoulders possessively.

"Well, at least now he can make awesome tapas," Patricia comments.

"I wouldn't say they are particularly good this time," Iker says.

"I loved them," Sergio says and Fernando smiles gratefully at him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Sergio, guess what? Guess what!" Fernando cried, jumping around his friend excitedly._

_"What?" Sergio said, trying to steady bouncing Fernando._

_"They offered me a job! A job! Can you believe it?" Fernando shouted, shaking Sergio._

_"No!" Sergio cried, involuntarily starting to jump up and down with Fernando, "Oh my God, really? I'm so happy for you, Nando. I knew you'd make it. You're so good!"_

_"They said they liked my ideas," Fernando said, wrapping his arms around Sergio, "Can you believe it, Sergi? The best advert agency in the country likes my ideas! I'll be working in the creative services department."_

_Fernando fell on the couch, dragging Sergio with him._

_"I'm so happy," he whispered, "And scared shitless."_

_"Don't worry. I'm sure they'll love you there," Sergio assured him, not even making an attempt to push Fernando away, even if they weren't lying in the most comfortable position, "If they took you, it means they think that you can do it."_

_Fernando nodded, sighing happily. "I couldn't wait when I would tell you," he said._

_Sergio ruffled his hair and pressed his lips on his cheekbone, slowly trailing them down until they reached the corner of Fernando's mouth. The older man rolled his eyes and sat up, gently slipping out of Sergio's embrace._

_"Sergio, I have a boyfriend," he smiled, "It can't be like it used to be anymore."_

_Sergio sat up too, trying to hide his pout._

_"Did you tell Iker?" he asked._

_Fernando nodded._

_"Was he happy?"_

_"Yeah," Fernando shrugged._

_"Looks like not so much," Sergio said._

_"He thinks I don't need to work as he's got a job," Fernando mumbled, "But I told him that I want that job and he said he's happy for me."_

_"He's just jealous," Sergio muttered._

_"Sergio," Fernando reproached him._

_"Yeah, he's jealous it took him two years to find a decent job, but you found it right after graduating because you're so brilliant."_

_"I think you are the one jealous, Sergio," Fernando said gently with an understanding smile, "Maybe I'm not spending as much time with you now that I'm with Iker, but you're still my best friend."_

_Sergio rolled his eyes. "This is not what you think, Fer. I just think he could have supported you more."_

_Fernando chuckled. "Stop it, Sergio," he said, "Iker loves me."_

_"I hope so," Sergio whispered sadly._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dinner goes on rather cheerfully, mostly thanks to Pepe and Patricia. They tease Xabi and Nagore about their aristocratic behavior and David for his soul patch.

"I always told him he should grow a real beard," Fernando laughs.

Sergio speaks excitedly about his radio station, announcing under applauds that he's finally coming out of the shadows and starting a program himself.

"It won't be only about music though," he says, "I'll have many interesting guests from different spheres. Maybe one day I'll invite you, Nagore, with a few of your models."

"Great," Fernando exclaims, squeezing Sergio's shoulder, "That's what you always dreamed about, Sergi."

"You know too much about me. I think I'll have to kill you," Sergio jokes lamely, but everyone laughs, especially Fernando.

"Nando, why did you put these glasses on the table," Iker's voice cuts through general laughter, "You know I like the other ones."

"But you always say you like these," Fernando says quietly.

"Never said that," Iker growls.

"Sorry," Fernando whispers.

"What's wrong with these glasses? I like them," Sergio shrugs.

Fernando sends him a small smile and Iker grabs his boyfriend's arm, pulling him closer to him.

"You hold Nando's hand like you're afraid he'll run away," Sergio smirks.

"Maybe I am," Iker answers, "You know better than anyone what a slut he is."

Fernando flinches and lowers his head in embarrassment. Everyone stares at Iker disbelievingly.

"If I didn't hold his hand, he'd be under the table now, sucking everyone off one by one," Iker says calmly.

Nagore gasps and Xabi glares at Iker. Fernando is tomato red by now and his lips are quivering slightly. David tries to laugh, pretending it was a joke, but no one joins him.

"It's his favorite pastime," Iker goes on mercilessly, "Don't you remember how he threw himself on me? That's how our relationship started."

Sergio sees how a tear escapes behind Fernando's eyelashes and is quickly wiped away. Then he suddenly jumps up to his feet.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and runs out of the room.

Iker smiles pleasantly and gets up. "Excuse us for a moment," he says and goes after his boyfriend.

David is the one who breaks the shocked silence in the living room. "Well... this is awkward," he says.

"Awkward? It's awful," Nagore says, "What is wrong with him?"

"Shh," Sergio says, trying to listen to the muffled voices coming from the kitchen.

"Eavesdropping is not a nice thing..." Pepe starts, but Sergio silences him with a glare.

Everyone involuntarily listens up. Mostly one voice is heard - very angry - and no one doubts it's Iker. Fernando speaks rarely and it's only apologetic mumbles. Iker's voice raises, Fernando says something and everyone distinctly hears the sound of a slap.

Sergio jumps up to his feet, but Pepe grabs his arm. "Where are you going?" he whispers.

"He hit him! He hit Fernando! You heard it," Sergio cries.

"Shh, Fernando is a grown up man. He can stand for himself," Pepe says, pulling Sergio down.

"He obviously can't," Sergio snaps, "He would do it, if he could."

"Sergio, Pepe is right," Xabi says, "They're a couple, it's their personal problems, you have no right of interfering. Besides, you can't know for sure Iker hit him."

Sergio opens his mouth to protest, but David doesn't let him talk. "Sergio, cut it out, please," he says and Sergio lowers his head, sighing.

Right at that moment Iker walks back in with a smile on his face. "I'm sorry," he says, sitting on his place, "So what were you saying about the crisis, David?"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_David opened the door and walked in to find Fernando and Sergio sitting on his bed and drinking his tequila. He didn't even try to act surprised._

_"Don't you have a place to live or what, Sergio?" he grumbled, "Sometimes I think I see you here more than Nando, who actually lives here."_

_"Stop whining and bring yourself a glass," Sergio growled, "I don't want to face Fer's problems alone."_

_"Is he pining over Iker again?" David asked, pouring himself tequila._

_"Do you even need to ask?" Sergio snorted._

_"Hey, I'm right here," Fernando complained._

_"Too bad. Should have been with Iker now," David commented._

_Fernando groaned. "He doesn't want me."_

_Both David and Sergio laughed._

_"Don't be stupid, Nando," David said, "He hangs out with us only because of you."_

_Fernando raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Oh, yeah? Then why he didn't even talk to me yesterday at lunch?"_

_Sergio sighed. "Don't you see it, Nando? He's just teasing you. He wants you to make the first move."_

_"But I made the first move," Fernando cried desperately, "I've been flirting with him endlessly. One day he flirts back, then the next day he's completely ignoring me. What am I doing wrong?"_

_He poured himself another shot._

_"He's just playing hard to get," Sergio muttered, rolling his eyes._

_"What should I do? It's been too long!"_

_"Hmm, but it's not like Iker," David pondered, "He always makes sure he gets whatever he wants as quickly as possible."_

_"See, he's just not interested," Fernando said, taking his face in his hands._

_"Damn it, Nando, I didn't think you were such a wimp," Sergio said angrily, "Just go and tell him what you feel."_

_"And what if I ruin our friendship?" Fernando asked._

_"If he doesn't want to be friends with you even if he doesn't like you, then you'll at least know that he's a total bastard and doesn't deserve you," Sergio said._

_"Hey, Iker is a great guy and our friend. Don't say such things about him," David reprimanded him._

_"I said if," Sergio answered, "I'm sure it won't happen. He'll say that he likes Nando back and has been trying to get into his pants from the moment he saw him and they'll live happily ever after."_

_"You really think so or say that just to comfort me?" Fernando asked._

_"You've known me since childhood, Nando. You shouldn't have asked that," Sergio said, "Of course I mean it."_

_Fernando smiled fondly at him. "You know what?" he said, "I'll have a shower and go to Iker's right now. I hope I'll still have the guts to do it when I'm sober."_

_When Fernando went to bathroom, David nudged Sergio. "You don’t sound very enthusiastic," he said._

_Sergio just shrugged and looked away._


	3. Chapter 3

Sergio looks at his friends and wonders if they are right, if he should just stay there, smile politely and not to interfere with their life, but Fernando isn't coming back and he can't pretend he hasn't seen the hopelessness in his eyes or hasn't witnessed the humiliation he's been subjected to just now. He gets up and says as calmly as possible, "Where is your bathroom, Iker?" 

"Down the hall, I'll show you," Iker suggests. 

"No, thanks, I'll find it," Sergio says and goes out. 

The kitchen door is open and Fernando is sitting under the counter face hidden in hands. Hearing footsteps, he looks up frightened and Sergio sees his face wet from tears and the imprint of a hand on his cheek. 

"You're crying," he whispers. 

"No," Fernando wipes his tears quickly, "I'm not." 

He makes a move to get up, but Sergio sits next to him. "I'm not blind, Nando." 

He takes Fernando's chin in his hand and turns his face to him, but Fernando moves away, blinking furiously. 

"Does he always treat you like this?" Sergio asks. 

Fernando pulls his knees to his chin and hides his face again. 

"Nando..." Sergio says gently. 

"He's never done this in-in front of o-other people," Fernando mumbles. 

"It means he does it when you're alone?" Sergio almost shouts, then lowers his voice to whisper, "He hits you, Nando?" 

Fernando just hugs his knees tighter and doesn't answer. Sergio can't take it anymore, he pulls his friend to him, enveloping him in his arms. Fernando's head is pressed to his chest and suddenly he starts shaking, clutching at Sergio's shirt, and Sergio is sure he's sobbing. 

He hugs him tighter. "Shh, Nando, I'm here," he whispers, caressing his hair, and Fernando presses closer to him, makes himself comfortable in Sergio's arms. 

He doesn't tell Sergio how much and how long he wanted someone would just hold him like that. Anyone. Doesn't matter. But even better that it's Sergio. 

"What has he done to you, Nando?" Sergio whispers, "How can you live like this?" 

"He-he's not always like this," Fernando murmurs, "Sometimes he's very kind." 

"Sometimes?" Sergio cries, startling the man in his arms, "He doesn't have a right to tell those things to you. He doesn't have a right to hit you." 

Fernando starts sobbing harder and Sergio kisses his hair. "You're not like yourself. You're not the Fernando I knew." 

"Sorry," Fernando chokes out. 

"No, no, I don't blame you," Sergio says quickly, kissing his head again, "It's his fault. Only his. He made you quit your job, right?" 

Fernando's head moves against his chest and Sergio assumes it was a nod. 

"God, Nando. Why do you let him treat you like this?" 

"Iker loves me," Fernando mumbles. 

Sergio barely restrains himself from shaking him hard. 

"Do your parents know about this?" he asks, "When did you last see them?" 

"T-two months ago," Fernando says, "Or three. I think it-it was Christmas." 

"Christmas was eight months ago, Nando." 

Fernando doesn't answer. 

"What about your brother?" Sergio presses on, "Did you talk to him about this?" 

"I don't talk to Isra," Fernando whispers, "I haven't talked to him for almost two years." 

"Why?" Sergio asks surprised. 

Fernando clutches at his shirt tighter. "Iker and Isra argued," he mumbles into Sergio's chest, "I took Iker's side. He lives in France now or in Italy, I don't even know..." 

Sergio clenches his fists. "And Maria?" he asks. 

Fernando shakes his head. "She doesn't want to see Iker and Iker doesn't let me visit her alone or to invite her here when he's not home." He chokes down a sob. "Last time I talked to her a year ago." 

Sergio rubs his back as Fernando's tears soak his shirt. "I'll kill that bastard," he hisses, "Who does he think he is? How can you tolerate this, Nando?" 

But Fernando is sobbing and Sergio can't do anything except pulling him closer and kissing his hair, his forehead, his cheeks. Fernando lowers his head and presses to him again hiding his face in his neck. Fighting back the tears, Sergio rubs comforting circles on his back. His eyes are closed and he doesn't see Iker who walks in the kitchen and freezes. 

When he clears his throat loudly, Fernando instantly jumps back. Sergio sees how pale he is, how he is trembling and wants to punch something or someone. Preferably Iker. 

"I was worried you weren't coming back and came to check on you," Iker says calmly, "Let's go. Everyone is waiting for you." 

Sergio jumps up to his feet. "You bastard!" he shouts. 

"Are you alright, Sergio?" Iker asks pointedly. 

"No, I'm not fucking al..." 

"Sergio...." 

Fernando's voice is quiet and his eyes are pleading and Sergio falls silent. 

"Let's go, Fernando will join us later," Iker insists, "Right, Fernando?" 

He nods shakily and Iker almost drags Sergio out of the kitchen. 

Fernando really joins them a few minutes later, eyes still red, but with a strained smile on his lips. 

"Sorry, I don't feel well," he says. 

"Oh, then we'd better go," Xabi says, sounding almost relieved, "It's late already and you have to rest." 

Fernando's eyes immediately fill with horror. 

"No, no," he pleads, "Stay a little more. You still haven't had the dessert. I'll bring it right now. Just stay, please." 

"I can't leave without tasting the dessert," Sergio says, "Bring it on."

~~~

They have the dessert in awkward silence. Sergio doesn't eat a bit, he's sure he won't be able to stomach it. He keeps looking at Fernando, pointedly ignoring Iker's furious gaze.

"The tiramisu was great, but we really have to go," Nagore says apologetically, standing up. 

"What about the margarita?" Fernando says. 

Sergio's heart clenches from the desperation in his voice. "It's not too late," he says, "We haven't seen Fer and Iker for ages. Let's stay a little longer." 

Fernando smiles gratefully at him. The guys look at each other and sit down again.

~~~

It's already past midnight, when they finally get up to go. Fernando knows Iker is mad as hell now and he has just made his situation worse by insisting their friends should stay, but he was horrified at the prospect of staying alone with Iker.

Sergio hugs him longer than what is considered appropriate and Fernando knows that he shouldn't do this, should push him away, because he only makes Iker angrier, but he can't. He's trembling so badly and feels like if Sergio lets him go, he will fall down. 

"Let's go with me," Sergio says into his ear, "Right now. Let's go." 

Fernando shudders. He can't. "No, please, Sergi," he whispers. 

Too soon Sergio pulls back, whispering into his ear, "I won’t leave you alone." 

Fernando's hand is squeezed in Iker's and though it hurts, it's the only thing that helps him stay on his feet. The door is closed after their friends and Fernando remains alone with his fate.

~~~

"It was the worst dinner I've ever been to," Patricia announces when they are finally out of the house, "We're never coming back here."

"I never thought Iker was like that," Xabi shakes his head. 

"He's a monster," Sergio snarls, "You should have seen Nando. He was crying, can you believe it? Sobbing! Have you ever seen Nando cry? It's not like him. It's not our Nando. It's like that bastard has erased his personality." 

"He really seemed very different," Pepe agrees. 

"He freaking said sorry for not doing the dishes when we were living together," David says, "Didn't even argue that it was him who always did the dishes. It was him." 

"We have to do something. We can't leave him like that," Sergio says determined. 

"He should just leave Iker," Nagore says, "How can he live with him? I almost didn't recognize him. He's changed a lot too." 

"He's just become creepier. He's always had that in him," Pepe says. 

"I'll do anything to save Nando," Sergio says, "I won't leave him alone. I promised that to him. Are you with me?" 

David sighs. "I understand, Sergio, but don't you think that it's their personal problems?" 

"No, I fucking don't think that," Sergio snaps, "That fucker there is torturing him. He controls his life, makes him do things he doesn't want to. I won't stand it. Fer has always been there for each of us whenever we needed. He would help you, David, if you were in his place." 

"Sorry, Serge, but how do you know he's... torturing him?" Pepe says, "Maybe this was just one time thing. Maybe something had happened before we came. I mean sure it was awful and Iker is creepy as hell, but we know Nando. He wouldn't let anyone treat him that way." 

"I think David and Pepe have a point, Sergio," Xabi says seriously, "Fernando isn't a kid." 

"Well, then fucking go back to your cozy lives," Sergio shouts, "I'm not going to turn my back on Nando." 

He slams the door of his car and drives on. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_Fernando was almost sleeping when he heard someone knocking on his window. He smiled, getting up from the bed, and went to open the window. Sergio, miserable and soaked, fell in._

_"What the hell do you think when you go out in this weather?" Fernando shook his head disapprovingly, then helped Sergio to his feet. "Get up, take off your clothes. I'll give you mine."_

_Ten minutes later Sergio was lying in Fernando's bed, with Fernando's towel wrapped around his head and Fernando's pajamas on him._

_"Well, tell me what's going on," Fernando said, slipping next to his friend._

_Sergio stayed silent for a moment, gazing at the ceiling, only his lower lip was trembling, then suddenly turned to Fernando and hid his face in the crook of his neck._

_"She broke up with me," he wailed._

_Fernando patted his head and pulled him closer. He let him sob for a while, caressing his hair, and when Sergio seemed to calm a little, asked, "Why?"_

_"She said Cristiano's accent is cuter than mine," Sergio said, biting back another sob._

_Fernando tried not to laugh, pressing his lips together._

_"Shh," he said, placing a feathery kiss in Sergio's hair._

_"Can you believe it? She broke up with me because of my accent," Sergio lifted his head to look at Fernando with eyes full of tears._

_"Actually because of Cristiano's," Fernando corrected._

_When Sergio glared at him, he just smiled and pulled the younger boy to him again. "I think your accent is the cutest in the whole world. If she doesn't think so, she's an idiot."_

_"Thank you," Sergio murmured._

_They lay for a while peacefully, then suddenly Sergio let out a sob again. "I thought she was the one. I thought she loved me. She said she loved me."_

_"Shh, Sergi, it's okay. It's going to be okay," Fernando whispered, "She didn't deserve you."_

_But Sergio was inconsolable and continued to sob into Fernando's chest. The older boy tilted his chin up, caressed his face, then kissed his forehead and wiped his tears away with his thumbs. "Don't cry," he said._

_Sergio shook his head, but tears were still flowing down from his eyes. Fernando kissed them away, rubbing Sergio's back at the same time. It seemed to calm down the younger boy. He tilted his head back and Fernando kissed a tear on his jaw, then another one which had rolled down his throat. Sergio moaned quietly. Fernando's eyebrows rose to his hairline. They had always been a bit more touchy-feely than necessary, but it never went beyond cuddles._

_Fernando decided to go with it. He trailed his lips down Sergio's throat, kissing his Adam's apple, and Sergio's breath hitched. He pressed closer to Fernando and his friend felt his erection poking at his thigh. He smiled again and his hand started roaming on Sergio's chest. The younger boy moaned louder this time. Fernando's hand traveled down, caressing his defined muscles and grazing his skin slightly, but stopped at the hem of his boxers. He looked into Sergio's eyes and the latter nodded shakily._

_Fernando's fingers slipped under the boxers and wrapped around his cock. Sergio's eyes rolled back and he bit his lip to suppress a moan. Fernando started jerking him off and when Sergio's moans grew louder, gathered his courage and kissed him on the lips. Sergio didn't really kiss him back, but neither pushed him away. Opting to be bold, Fernando worked his tongue into his friend's mouth and swallowed his cry and his own name as Sergio came._

_A few moments passed and Sergio didn't say anything, lying with his eyes closed and breathing heavily. Fernando was waiting for him to speak like the culprit would wait for the court's decision. Had he ruined everything? Had he just thrown away all those years of friendship?_

_"Sergi?" he tried weakly._

_Sergio opened his eyes, looked at him and smiled. Fernando started breathing again._

_"Thank you," Sergio whispered, then pointed towards Fernando's legs with his chin. "What about you?" he said awkwardly._

_"Don't worry about me," Fernando mumbled._

_"If-if you want, I could..." Sergio started unsure._

_Fernando looked at him for a moment and then shook his head. "No, I know you don't want it. You can go to the bathroom, while I... change the sheets."_

_"Um, yeah, take you time," Sergio said, blushing, and sprinted off to the bathroom._

_When he came back, Fernando was lying in the bed on clean sheets and with rosy cheeks. Sergio hesitated, but in the end got into the bed and lay as far away from Fernando as possible._

_"Fer, this-this doesn't mean I'm gay, right?" he asked suddenly._

_Fernando held back a sigh. "No, it doesn't."_

_"I would know if I were," Sergio went on, "I mean, I'm almost sixteen and you knew you're gay long before that, didn't you?"_

_"I did," Fernando mumbled._

_Sergio looked him into the eyes. "We're still friends, right?"_

_"Of course we are," Fernando said, squeezing his eyes shut._

_"Good," Sergio said and kissed Fernando on the cheek, "'Night, Nando."_

_"'Night," Fernando whispered._

_Sergio snuggled closer to him, nesting in Fernando's arms and a few minutes later was already snoring lightly. Fernando fell asleep only at dawn._


	4. Chapter 4

Iker slowly turns to Fernando and grins. The younger man is trembling like a leaf in wind waiting for his verdict. Iker isn't in a hurry. He studies Fernando for long moments and the other man thinks which part of his body he should cover to protect himself from Iker's blows, though he knows it's not possible to tell. He can hit everywhere. Once he hurt his knee so bad, Fernando had to undergo a surgery. They lied to the doctor he had been injured in a football match. His knee still hurts sometimes. Iker uses it to punish him when he's very mad. Maybe he'll do it also now. Fernando hasn't fucked up so bad for a long time. 

Iker takes a step forward and Fernando's hands fly to his face. Iker laughs and then with a swift movement grabs Fernando by the throat. 

"You know you deserve to be punished, don't you?" he sing-songs. 

Fernando nods. Iker smirks and lets go of his throat. 

"Go to the guest bedroom, strip and lay on the bed," he orders, "And make it quick." 

Fernando immediately runs upstairs and does what he's told. Iker takes his time making him wait in fear, thinking what he's prepared for him, trying to take deep breaths and to calm himself. The dinner was a mistake. He should have never invited them and especially Sergio, not to mention to fall into his arms. Fernando shudders. Iker can kill him for that. 

The door creaks ominously and Iker enters, holding something in his hand. Even under the dim light of the bedroom Fernando can see that it's a rope. He swallows, but raises his arms obediently. Iker pats him on the head and ties his hands tightly to the bedpost. Fernando winces at the pain and Iker smirks. 

"Hurts?" he asks. 

Fernando nods. 

"Good," Iker says and pulls down his pants. 

He fucks Fernando with rhythmic, painful thrusts, making sure the younger man doesn't get even a second of pleasure. Fernando doesn't expect it. Even when they have normal sex, he doesn't really enjoy it. Besides, their normal sex doesn't differ very much from what Iker's doing now. It still almost feels like a punishment or at least something dedicated entirely to Iker's pleasure. He doesn't remember when he was in control last time. "How can we have an equal relationship?" Iker told him once, "We're not equal. If it weren't for me, you'd probably be dead. I earn money, you live in my house, you're mine. You have no one besides me. Do you think you could survive alone?" Fernando doesn't think he can. He isn't thinking about it now. He stopped thinking long ago. Now he's just dreaming of the moment the pain will be over. He feels blood trickling from his wrists and dripping on the pillow. Iker came once, but he's continuing to pound into Fernando until tears escape from his eyes. 

"Are those tears of regret?" Iker pants. 

Fernando nods eagerly, ready to accept everything just to stop the pain. 

Iker slaps him with the back of his hand. "Slut," he hisses, "Thought about cheating on me?" 

Fernando just shakes his head, afraid to make a sound, because he knows it will only make Iker angrier. Iker gives him another slap and Fernando chokes back a sob. Satisfied by the result, Iker thrusts harder and when Fernando cries out, slaps him again. 

When Fernando starts thinking that this will never be over, Iker thrusts for the last time and comes again inside him. He pulls out, zips his pants and leans over Fernando. He smiles and wipes his tears, caresses his face. 

"My baby is innocent, isn't he?" he coos, "It's that whore Sergio who tried to steal him from me. He's the only one to blame for this, right?" 

"Y-yes," Fernando whispers. 

Iker pecks him on the lips and gets up. "But I'm so mad at you. You'll stay here for the night. You're still not allowed to my bed." 

Fernando whimpers but nods. 

"Good boy," Iker pats his head, "Behave." 

He goes to the door, leaving Fernando tied to the bed. 

"Iker," Fernando calls, "You forgot to untie me." 

"You want me to untie you?" Iker asks, feigning surprise. 

"Please." 

Iker seems to be considering it and then grins again. "No," he says. 

Fernando starts trembling. "Please," he whispers, "It hurts." 

"I said no," Iker shouts, "And don’t even try to untie your hands yourself, because it will make me very, very angry." 

He slams the door, leaving Fernando to cry himself to sleep. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"If we took the subway, we'd already be there, but no, we had to take the bus, because you were sure it'd be quicker," Fernando rolled his eyes, "Are you trying to make us be late on purpose?"_

_Iker smiled. "Maybe I am," he said, "I want to spend more time with you."_

_"We live together, Iker," Fernando laughed, "We have to see our friends sometimes."_

_"Well, I guess you're right," Iker sighed, "But I still miss you. You're at work all day. Why don't you just leave it?"_

_"Because I love it," Fernando said, "We've talked about it. Why don't you leave yours?"_

_"I earn more," Iker shrugged, "I can sustain both of us."_

_"I don't want to depend on you. Soon I'll start earning as much as you," Fernando took Iker's hand caressing it with his thumb, "I told you that Terry, Benitez' assistant, is going back to England."_

_"And what makes you think they'll appoint you?" Iker asked._

_Fernando laughed, choosing to ignore the serious tone of the question. "Because I'm brilliant," he said, "Benitez likes me, he says even Abramovich thinks the company benefits a lot from my ideas."_

_"Who's Abramovich?" Iker asked._

_Fernando frowned. "The president. Do you ever listen when I talk?"_

_"I know who he is. I was just kidding you," Iker laughed, but Fernando still looked offended._

_"You probably don't even know where I work," he muttered._

_"I know," Iker objected, "You're drawing things for an advert agency."_

_"Wow, I'm going to be the art director's assistant and you call my job drawing things. I'm sorry I forgot everything that doesn't have to do with numbers is useless."_

_Fernando turned away, looking out from the bus window._

_"Baby, don't be mad at me," Iker pleaded, "I love you."_

_Fernando didn't say anything._

_"I know how to make you smile again," Iker whispered into his ear, "The next stop is near an amusement park. We'll get off there. I know you love them. We can stay there all day long."_

_Even if Fernando tried, he couldn't hold back a smile._

_"You're such a kid," Iker laughed._

_"I can never stay mad at you," Fernando murmured._

_"I know," Iker said, "So are we getting off at the next stop?"_

_"What about the guys?" Fernando asked._

_"We'll meet them next time," Iker said, "We'll have the whole day to ourselves. Just imagine, we alone on a Ferris wheel."_

_Fernando sighed happily. "I'll call David," he said._

_"No, he'll convince you to go," Iker said, "I'll text Xabi. You'd better switch off your phone, so no one will disturb us."_

_Fernando frowned, but complied. "Sometimes I think I let you control me too much," he said._

_Iker just smiled mysteriously._

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Fernando doesn't manage to sleep the whole night. Sometimes he falls into a slumber, but wakes up very soon, because his wrists hurt and his position is awfully uncomfortable. He's counting the minutes till the morning, but seems like the sun has forgotten to rise today. 

When Iker enters the room, Fernando has just closed his eyes, but jumps up startled, when he touches his face. 

"Oh, sorry, were you sleeping?" Iker asks in a concerned voice, but he's smirking. 

Fernando shakes his head. "I couldn't sleep," he whispers. 

"Why? Oh, you were in pain, my poor baby." 

Fernando nods and winces, when Iker traces his fingers along the rope on his wrist. 

"Do you want me to remove this?" Iker asks and brings his hand to caress his face. 

"Yes, please, Iker, it hurts," Fernando begs, pressing his face to Iker's hand and kissing his palm, "I'm so sorry for yesterday. Please untie me." 

Iker trails his fingers on Fernando's lips. "Of course I'll untie you, baby," he smiles and Fernando sighs relieved, "When I come back from work in the evening." 

Fernando looks at him horrified, his eyes immediately filling with tears. "No, please," he whispers, "Iker, please. You can't do this to me." 

"Sorry, baby, but you have to learn," Iker shrugs. 

"I will, I promise, I will never make you mad again. Just untie me, please, I can't-I can't anymore..." He chokes back a sob. 

"In the evening," Iker says calmly, "But if you don't shut up, maybe I will leave you like this for a week." 

Fernando gasps, but falls silent. Iker pats him on the head and goes to the door. 

"What if I want to go to the toilet?" Fernando cries. 

"I said in the evening," Iker spits out, "And don't try to get free. Got it?" 

Fernando nods miserably, swallowing the tears.

~~~

The afternoon finds Fernando in pain, hungry and thirsty. He's thinking of biting off the rope. It won't be difficult, but he's terribly afraid of Iker's reaction. He'll surely prepare something more awful, so better not to risk it. He just has to think of something else, to take his mind off this situation and wait for Iker to return.

Fernando closes his eyes and tries to make himself fall asleep. But his attempts are disturbed, when the doorbell rings. Fernando stirs. No one visits them at this hour. No one visits them at all. Fernando is suddenly happy he's tied up and can't do anything. He wouldn't know what to do if he were free. Iker wouldn't like it if he opened the door for strangers or for anyone for that matter. 

Whoever is ringing and knocking is very persistent. It's already minutes they've been doing it. For some reason it's starting to make Fernando nervous. Finally the noise stops and Fernando closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep again. But not a minute passes, when he hears a voice under the window. 

"Hey," someone shouts. 

Fernando tenses. The window is open, but the curtain closes the view, so he can't see anything. 

"Fernando," he hears, "Open the door." 

Fernando's hearts jumps to his throat. Sergio. What is he doing here? 

"Fer, it's me. I have to see you," Sergio yells, "Open the door." 

Fernando bites his tongue not to shout back something. He doesn't even know what. Maybe he should shout for help? But why? Sergio won't be able to do anything. And even if he climbs in through the window Fernando can't stand it if he sees him like this. Besides Iker said it's Sergio's fault he's punished, so he'd better stay away from him. 

Sergio's still shouting, calling his name, but Fernando stays silent. It takes Sergio half an hour to get tired or to assume that there isn't anyone at home and leave. Fernando closes his eyes and the tears start falling again. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando was waiting for Sergio in front of the school so they could go home. Their houses were next to each other and they always went together. This time though Sergio was late. Fernando was already starting to worry, when Sergio finally showed up gloomy and with a bruise on his cheek._

_"Sergio? Who's done this?" Fernando cried._

_"No one," Sergio grumbled._

_"You did it yourself?" Fernando snorted._

_Sergio glared at him and turned his head away. "Thought you'd be already gone," he said._

_"So that's why you kept me waiting so long? Should have known I wouldn't go home without you."_

_Sergio sighed and didn't say anything, continuing to walk._

_"Sergi," Fernando called gently, "Will you tell me who's done this? Did you get into a fight?"_

_"Yeah," Sergio muttered._

_"With whom?"_

_Sergio hesitated for a moment and then said, "With those two asshole classmates of yours."_

_Fernando sighed. "Why, Sergio?"_

_"You know perfectly well why," Sergio said, gritting his teeth, "They were insulting you."_

_"Sergio, how many times do I have to ask? Don't pay attention to them. Don't let them provoke you."_

_"I can't," Sergio shouted, "How do you do it?"_

_"They used to call me names, but they saw that I just laugh at them and stopped. They're just bitter, because everyone hates them."_

_"Now they've left you alone and keep harassing me," Sergio mumbled, "They're mocking me that I'm friends with you. They say we're lovers."_

_Fernando laughed. "Really? Oh my God, the guys at the newspaper should hear about this."_

_"It's not funny, Nando," Sergio cried offended, "How can you take it so easy?"_

_"Because I know that one day the whole Spain will be reading my comic books, while they will be offering Big Mac at McDonald's," Fernando said._

_Sergio actually smiled at that. "I'll be the first you'll show your comics, right?" he asked._

_"Of course," Fernando shrugged, "Who else?"_

_"I don't know, for example the guys from the school newspaper. You spend so much time there," Sergio said pouting._

_Fernando laughed. "But you know you'll always come first for me," he said._

_Sergio raised his eyebrows. "Really?"_

_"Sure. First lovers, then friends," Fernando said seriously._

_"Shut up, Nando," Sergio cried, nudging the older boy._

_"Hey, don't make me bruise your other cheek," Fernando said._

_"As if you would," Sergio said and stuck his tongue our._

_Fernando rolled his eyes artistically. "My friend is five years old," he sighed._

_"Lover," Sergio corrected and they both burst out laughing._


	5. Chapter 5

Fernando thinks his eyelashes might be glued together because he can't open them. He feels something cool against his forehead, then the awful pain forces his eyes wide open. 

"Shh," Iker says, "I know it hurts, but now you'll feel better." 

Fernando closes his eyes again. Iker unties him, applies something on his wrists and bandages them carefully. The pain really reduces. Iker leans down and kisses Fernando on the lips. 

"You've been a good boy," he says, "Get up and we'll have dinner." 

It takes Fernando a few minutes to come to his senses and to comprehend that he's not tied to the bed anymore. He gets dressed and goes to the bathroom as quickly as possible, because Iker doesn't like to be kept waiting. When he gets down, Iker has already set the table and is sitting there smiling. 

"I brought Italian," he says, "Your favorite." 

Fernando's favorite is Chinese, but he doesn't mention it. His stomach is grumbling and then it's never a good thing to contradict Iker. The consequences can be very painful, Fernando knows from experience. So he tries to smile, whispers thank you and sits down. They eat while Iker tells him about a new company his company is going to buy. Fernando is halfway through his pasta, when the doorbell rings. 

"Who is this?" Iker asks surprised. 

Fernando shrugs, though his hands start trembling. It's Sergio, he's sure of it. It can't be anyone else. Iker goes up to open the door and Fernando holds his breaths listening. 

"Sergio?" Iker says with unhidden animosity, "We weren't expecting you." 

"I want to see Fernando," Sergio demands. 

Fernando flinches. He sounds so rude, Iker will kill him. 

"This is not really appropriate time. You can visit him later," Iker says coldly. 

"I won't go without seeing him. If you don't let me in right now, I'm calling the police," Sergio threatens. 

"Wait here," Iker grits his teeth. 

Fernando's sitting with his head bowed and doesn't look up, when Iker comes in. 

"Your friend wants to see you," Iker hisses, "Why don't you go and explain to him that you're fine?" 

Fernando looks at him to see if he's kidding, but there is only fury in Iker's eyes. 

"Go," he snarls and Fernando jumps to his feet and runs. 

Sergio is standing on the doorstep and beams, when he sees his friend. 

"Fer, thank God," he says, "I was so worried. I came today, but you weren't home." 

He pulls Fernando into a hug, but his smile falters, when Fernando stiffens. 

"How are you?" Sergio asks frowning. 

Fernando looks to the left and sees Iker standing there with a murderous expression on his face. Shit, he's in trouble, he should have told him that Sergio's come to visit earlier. 

"I'm fine, Sergio," he says, "Why did you come?" 

"I wanted to see you," Sergio shrugs. 

"I don't want to see you," Fernando says emotionlessly, "Please leave." 

"What's going on, Fernando?" Sergio asks, "What has he done to you?" 

"Nothing. I'm fine," Fernando repeats. 

"No, you're not," Sergio says raising his voice. 

"Leave, Sergio," Fernando pleads. 

Sergio grits his teeth and grabs Fernando's hand, trying to pull him outside. The older man winces and pushes him away. The bandage on his left wrist is bloodied, Fernando tries to cover it quickly with his sleeve, but Sergio's already seen it. His eyes widen and when he looks at Fernando, there are tears in them. 

"Did he do this to you?" he whispers. 

Fernando shakes his head frantically. 

"Don't lie to me, Nando." 

"He didn't do it on purpose. I'm fine, just go," Fernando says. 

"Let's go with me," Sergio whispers. 

Fernando glances at Iker and takes a step back. "No. Go and never come back. I don't want to see you. Ever." 

Sergio flinches and Fernando wants to reach out to him, to hug him, to caress his face and to make the pain go away, but he stays silent, looking at him coldly. 

"You don't mean it, Nando," Sergio says pleadingly. 

"I mean every word," Fernando says, "Go." 

Iker comes up to him and gently pushes him away from the door. "Didn't you hear?" he tells Sergio, "Go or I'll call the police." 

Fernando doesn't stay to see how Sergio turns and leaves. He goes back and sits at his place. He thinks about Sergio, about the pain in his eyes when Fernando told him to go, about how he'll never come back. Iker closes the door and comes back to the room, standing next to Fernando, staring hard at him. Fernando shudders and lowers his gaze. Iker takes the bowl full of pasta and slowly empties it on Fernando's head. He doesn't move, doesn't try to stop him, just closes his eyes tightly, letting the grease flow down his neck. Iker smirks, then turns back and goes to sit on the sofa in front of the TV. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Pepe was in the middle of one of his incredible stories, when Fernando's cell rang. He looked at it and beamed._

_"I'll be back soon," he said, almost flying away from the table._

_"Iker," Pepe and David said, looking at each other._

_"He's just shining," Nagore said with a smile, "I didn't know it was possible to be this happy."_

_"Hey, aren't you happy, baby?" Xabi said._

_"I meant besides you and me, honey," Nagore said, kissing him._

_Fernando came back, beaming even more. "He said he's coming," he cried and slumped down on the chair._

_"You act like a girl," Sergio snorted._

_"And look like one too," Pepe whispered._

_Fernando just smiled. "I don't care, I'm happy," he said._

_Patricia ruffled his hair. "Ignore them, Nando," she said, "You look gorgeous and act properly."_

_"Thanks, Pati," Fernando said, kissing her hand._

_Iker arrived a little later and they had great time, even though Pepe demonstratively gagged at every display of affection between them._

_"Well, I think it's time to call this a night," Nagore yawned a few hours later._

_"Already?" Pepe complained, "You can stay, I have plenty of rooms for you. Serge, you can sleep in the kitchen."_

_"I wouldn't expect anything else," Sergio sighed._

_"I promised Pati to spend the night with her or I'd stay gladly," David said, "Hey, Nando, I can take you home before driving to Pati's, are you coming?"_

_"Nah, my classes start late tomorrow," Fernando said, "I'll stay at Iker's tonight."_

_"Aww," Patricia and Nagore said together, "This is love."_

_"You stay at Iker's so often, I even miss your snoring," David muttered._

_"I don't snore," Fernando protested, "Right, Iker?"_

_"How would I know, baby?" Iker said, "We never sleep at nights."_

_"Spare us the details," Pepe cried and Fernando laughed, kissing Iker gently._

_"Ew, you didn't need to do that in my house," Pepe whined._

_"Let's go before Pepe kicks us out," Fernando said._

_After everyone said goodbye and left, only Sergio remained at Pepe's, staring with glassy eyes at the chair that had been occupied with Fernando a minute ago. Pepe sighed and sat next to him._

_"He really loves Iker, doesn't he?" he said quietly._

_"He does," Sergio answered, "Sometimes I think he loves him too much for his own good."_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando opens his eyes and finds himself on the cold, hard floor next to the bed, naked save for the bandages on his wrists. The bed is empty, Iker probably has already left for work and he can get up. Iker fucked him again last night, thankfully without tying him up, and Fernando's whole body aches. 

Fernando gets dressed, makes the bed and goes down the stairs. He makes himself a sandwich, chewing it slowly and thinking how to pass the day. He opens Iker's laptop. He's allowed to use it sometimes to watch movies or listen to music. No social networks of course. Iker doesn't know though that sometimes Fernando chats with complete strangers. He feels guilty for lying to Iker, but he would surely take the computer away from him and the chat with strangers is one of the most exciting parts of Fernando's day. Every time he makes up a new personality for himself - a different name, a different nationality, a different life. He never talks with the same person again. 

Today he's going to do the same and opens the private browsing mode, but instead going to the chat, he opens Google. His fingers type the words without his brain acknowledging it and only when the search results appear on the screen, he realizes what he's done. 

_Least painful ways of suicide._

Fernando closes his eyes for a second and opens them again. He takes a deep breath and opens the first links. Turns out there are a lot of ways of suicide. Someone offers gas poisoning, it's almost painless, but their household appliances are all electrical. Gunshot would be impossible, as Fernando doesn't own a gun. Heroine overdose is painless too, but how can he get heroine? The most likely way is overdosing on pills. Fernando's sure he can find a handful of different pills at home. But what if he doesn't succeed? What if he stays alive? Then Iker will kill him for trying and it sure won't be painless. Anyway, he can try. Iker is not going to be home till evening, so there is a chance. Fernando wonders if he can find out exactly which pills to take to secure a deathly ending. He looks at the screen again, then shudders and bangs it shut. He can't think about such things, he can't. Fernando hugs himself and puts his head on the table. Tears are building behind his eyelids and he doesn't know why. The doorbell rings suddenly, making him jump to his feet. Who can it be? 

Fernando approaches the door warily. He looks out of the peephole and remains stunned. Almost involuntarily he opens the door. Sergio is standing behind it with a faint smile on his face and a bag in his hand. Fernando doesn't answer, when he asks if he can come in, but Sergio takes that as a yes and coming forward hugs his friend. 

"Are you okay?" he asks. 

Fernando's arms weakly embrace him. "What are you doing here?" he whispers. 

"Came to see you," Sergio shrugs, "That bastard isn't here, is he?" 

Fernando cringes and shakes his head. 

"Good," Sergio says, "Let’s go in." 

Sergio slumps on the sofa in the living room as if it is his own and pats it to invite Fernando to sit next to him. The older man sits on the other end looks at him cautiously. 

"I thought you'd never come back," he murmurs and Sergio isn't sure if he's angry or happy to be wrong. 

"I promised I wouldn't leave you alone, Fer," he says. 

There is something resembling a smile on Fernando's lips, but it quickly disappears. 

Sergio sighs. "How are you?" he asks. 

"Fine," Fernando mumbles. 

"You don't look like fine," Sergio says, "What has he done to you?" 

"Sergio, please, I don't want to talk about it," Fernando says quietly. 

"Nando, don't you understand that this is wrong?" Sergio cries, "You should leave him. You can't let him keep doing this to you. Hell, you should call the police. I'm calling the police." 

"No," Fernando whispers, "Please don't. I don't need it. I feel good with Iker. We love each other." 

Sergio closes his eyes for a second. He figured it wouldn't be easy to get Fernando open up, so he decided to take it slow, but couldn't help himself when he saw his friend's bandaged wrists or faint bruise on his cheekbone. 

"Okay. So tell me about your life," he says deciding to change the subject, "How do you spend your day? Are you always at home?" 

"Yeah, I rarely go out," Fernando says, looking embarrassed, "I just surf the net, listen to music, sometimes I work in the kitchen or draw." He bites his tongue at the last word. 

"You still draw?" Sergio exclaims, "Will you show your sketches to me?" 

"I always throw them away, they're not particularly good," Fernando mumbles, looking away. 

Sergio can see he's lying, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he moves closer to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. "I brought some movies to watch. Do you feel like it?" 

"Don't you have to go to work?" Fernando asks. 

"My schedule is free," Sergio says, "So how about a movie?" 

Fernando nods. 

"Look, I've brought all the latest animated films. Though you've probably seen them all, I know you love them," Sergio beams. 

"I haven't," Fernando murmurs, "Iker thinks they're stupid." 

Sergio clenches his fists, but refrains from saying anything. "Then choose one from these," he says, "Or better let's watch the trailers and then you'll choose." 

Sergio opens the laptop, muttering about something about Fernando being allowed to use a computer and freezes. 

"What's this?" he breathes. 

Fernando doesn't answer. 

"What's this, Fernando?" Sergio shouts and turns to the other man. He grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. "Don't even think about it, you understand me? Don't even think." 

Fernando just manages to nod, not even struggling to get free of Sergio's hold. The younger man sees the fear in his eyes and lets him go immediately. 

"I'm sorry," he says, "I shouldn't have reacted this way." 

Fernando's just trembling and Sergio hugs him, pulling him closer and placing a kiss into his hair. 

"Are you really thinking about it?" he whispers. 

"I don't know," Fernando mumbles, "M-maybe." 

Sergio shudders. "Suicide is not a solution, Fer," he says, "If you really want to end this, you can just leave him." 

Fernando looks up at him. "I can't," he says, "How am I going to live?" 

"Like you lived before. Like you lived before meeting him," Sergio says fervently. 

Fernando shakes his head. He's not sure he remembers how he lived before meeting Iker. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando's parents had organized a farewell dinner for their youngest son, who had been accepted to university and was going to live alone. He wasn't going too far, just moving to an apartment still in Madrid, but closer to the university building, so only close family was invited to the dinner - Maria with her husband, Israel with his girlfriend and of course, Sergio._

_"Flori, he's not going to Australia, he'll be still living in Madrid," Mr. Torres said, when his wife not-so-secretly wiped her eyes._

_"Yeah, mum, I'll visit you every week," Fernando said, "You weren't crying when Isra and Mari left home."_

_"I'm sorry," Mrs. Torres said, "It's just that you'll always be my little Nandito for me."_

_Sergio snickered, but only Fernando noticed it and kicked him under the table. "Stop it, mum," he hissed._

_"Yeah, mum, stop embarrassing our little Nandito in front of his boyfriend," Israel said._

_Fernando flushed. "I hate you, Isra," he mumbled._

_"Aww, sorry, little brother," Israel ruffled his hair, "It's just so easy to rile you up, that sometimes I can't hold back."_

_Fernando looked at him with a smile. "Putting laxative in your soup is easier, so maybe I couldn't hold back either," he said calmly._

_"You little bastard," Israel cried, while the rest of them burst out laughing._

_"Honey, what kind of guy is that David?" Mrs. Torres asked, when everyone calmed down a little, "Is he reliable?"_

_"Yeah, he's cool," Fernando said, "Though I heard he's got some criminal record. Attempted to kill his roommate or something..."_

_"Fernando!" Mrs. Torres cried._

_"Just kidding, mum," Fernando laughed, "He's a nice guy."_

_"Yeah, don't worry, Mrs. Torres," Sergio said, "You remember Pepe, the guy who works with me at the supermarket, the one who found the apartment for Nando? So he knows this David and says that he's great. I've seen him once and he's left a good impression on me."_

_"I trust your judgment, Sergio," Mrs. Torres said, "You're such a good friend to my Nando. I know you'll always be there for him when he needs you."_

_"Of course, Mrs. Torres," Sergio said modestly, "I'm sure you can say the same about Fernando."_

_Fernando couldn't help the subtle smile that appeared on his lips._

_"Hey, does your family know about us?" Sergio asked later, when Israel and Maria had already left, Fernando's parents had gone to sleep and they were lying on Fernando's bed, reading a comic._

_"What do you mean? That we fool around? No. Isra was joking when he said we're boyfriends," Fernando said, "Can I turn the page?"_

_"Yeah. I just thought you told them and now they think we're kind of together," Sergio mumbled._

_"What should have I told them?" Fernando shrugged, "It's not like we're an item, right?"_

_Sergio didn't notice the hopeful note in his voice. "Of course we aren't, we're best friends," he laughed and Fernando looked away, biting his lip._

_"Anyway," Sergio drawled, "Don't you think you're a bit too old to read a comic?"_

_Fernando glared at him. "You're never too old for comics, Sergio."_

_"I know," Sergio said, "What I meant was... Well... As this is your last night here, maybe... we can, you know, do something more than we usually do..."_

_Fernando chuckled, looking at Sergio's red face. "You're still underage, Sergi," he said._

_Sergio rolled his eyes. "Just don't pretend you want it any less," he muttered._

_"You seriously want to have real gay sex?" Fernando laughed quietly and then loudly when Sergio's blush deepened._

_"Do I have to repeat it?"_

_"But you can't say that you're hundred percent straight after that, you know that, right?"_

_Sergio pondered for a minute. "I'll say that I'm ninety eight percent straight, because I turn gay only for you," he said, smiling cheekily, "So, do you want to do it or not? You know how to, don't you?"_

_Fernando laughed embarrassed. "Yeah, I do. But it's going to hurt, Sergi."_

_"I'm a tough guy," Sergio smirked._

_Fernando threw the comic aside. "Well, let's see if it's true."_


	6. Chapter 6

The movie is still on, but Sergio isn't really watching it. Fernando has been sleeping in his lap for almost twenty minutes and Sergio's busy caressing his hair and back lightly. Fernando sighs in his sleep and presses his nose to Sergio's knee. The younger man's eyes fill with tears when he looks at his friend's delicate form. He doesn't know what feeling in him is stronger - the hatred towards Iker who's doing this to Fernando or the pangs of guilt that pierce his heart. He could have prevented this. He should have prevented this. If he were a little smarter, if he went looking for Fernando, if he weren't so fucking proud, this wouldn't have happened. Now Fernando's life is in ruins and it's partly his fault. 

The telephone rings and Fernando jumps up startled. He looks around confused for a few seconds with his big, big eyes that Sergio used to love so much and then lets out a gasp. 

"Where is the phone?" he says hoarsely, "It's Iker, oh God." 

"Nando, calm down," Sergio says, handing him the phone, "Answer it. Calmly." 

Fernando nods, takes a deep breath and presses the talk button. "Hello?" 

Sergio notices how his hand is trembling and bites his lip to restrain from snarling in rage. 

"Sorry," Fernando whispers, "I-I was in the bathroom. Yeah, sorry. No, I'm not lying. I swear, Iker... I'm sorry... Bye." 

He puts down the phone and smiles somewhat guiltily at Sergio. "He doesn't like when I answer the phone late." 

"Why didn't you tell him you were sleeping?" 

Fernando shrugs and looks away. "Iker doesn't like when I'm being lazy," he mumbles. 

"And who will think about what you like, Nando?" Sergio roars and immediately regrets it, when Fernando flinches. 

"I'm sorry, Nando, I didn't mean to yell at you," Sergio says hugging him, "Forgive me, okay?" 

Fernando nods. Sergio lets him go and smiles at him. Then he looks at his watch. 

"Damn, I have to go now," he says, "But I'll come again tomorrow as soon as I'm free. You don't mind it, do you?" 

Fernando wants to say that Iker wouldn't like it, but Sergio got so mad, when he said something like that, so he just shakes his head. Sergio beams at him and puts a kiss on his hair. Then his face goes serious. 

"Promise me that you won't try to do anything stupid, Nando. Please," he whispers. 

"I promise," Fernando says. 

Sergio smiles again and pulls him into a hug. "I'll come tomorrow," he says. 

When he goes out, Fernando stays with a stupid grin on his face for a few minutes, then sighs and goes to prepare something.

~~~

From the way Iker bangs the door Fernando understands that he's not in a good mood. He quickly looks around to see if there is something wrong which Iker can blame on him and let his anger out at his expense, but everything looks normal. No sign that Sergio has been here. Well, he can always say that the food tastes like shit.

Iker comes into the living room and Fernando jumps up from the couch. "Hey," he smiles, "Do you want something to eat?" 

"I ate with the guys," Iker growls. 

Fernando long ago stopped asking who exactly "the guys" were. He's sitting on the couch, when Iker comes down after taking a shower and changing into more comfortable clothes. He sits next to Fernando and taking his chin in his hand, tilts his head to look at him. The younger man looks back, trying to smile. Iker brings his hand to caress his face and Fernando closes his eyes. Iker is so gentle, so very gentle, Fernando's heart flutters in his chest. Iker kisses him lazily and then murmurs, "Your former fuck-buddy visited me today." 

Fernando stiffens. "Who?" he whispers. 

"Sergio," Iker chuckles, "Who else?" 

Fernando swallows. "What did he want?" 

"Started shouting that I treat you badly, that he'll kill me, that I don't deserve you," Iker says yawning. 

Fernando looks at him. Iker has that dangerous spark in his eyes and the younger man shivers. 

"I love you," he whispers desperately, praying to heaven Iker won't lash out on him for Sergio's actions. 

"I know," Iker says, taking his earlobe between his teeth, "And you know that I love you too, don't you?" 

Fernando nods quickly. 

Iker's hand is travelling under his shirt and his lips are close to Fernando's ear. He's still gentle, but it sends a chill down Fernando's spine. 

"Do you know what Sergio wants?" Iker whispers, making Fernando shiver again. 

"N-no." 

Iker chuckles. "My naïve boy, you think he really cares about you?" 

Fernando shrugs. 

"No one cares about you, but me," Iker says calmly, "He just wants your ass, baby. You're just a fuck for him. If he cares about you, then why didn't he look for you during all these years? Now he met you again and wants to have a taste." 

"I would never cheat on you," Fernando assures him, trembling. 

Iker smirks. "I know. But you know what will happen if you try, right?" 

Fernando just stares at him wide-eyed. 

"I will kill you," Iker says slowly, closing his fingers around Fernando's throat, "You know that I'm not kidding." 

Fernando nods once, but Iker presses his fingers tighter, making him choke. 

"And don't think that Sergio will protect you. He will just throw you out like a cheap whore after using you. So don't you dare to cheat on me or I'll kill you both. First him, then you." 

"I will never... n-never..." 

Iker nods and finally lets go of his throat, petting his head. "I know, baby. Now be a good boy and suck me off. Your fucking friend's visit stressed me today." 

Fernando slides down from the couch and kneels between Iker's legs. 

"Go slow, I don't want to come quickly," Iker warns him. 

Fernando almost whimpers, but bites his tongue not to make a sound. His jaw is going to ache all night, he's sure of that. But at least he's also sure that Iker won't kick him out like a cheap whore. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_"Okay. Yeah, I understand. No worries. Love you too. Bye."_

_Fernando put down the phone and sighed._

_"Let me guess," David said, "You're not going on a date."_

_"Iker is busy," Fernando said with a sad smile, "We'll meet tomorrow."_

_"Even better!" David exclaimed, "It means you're coming with us for a boys' night out!" He cackled loudly._

_"Yeah, I'm going to get wasted on our anniversary without my boyfriend. How exciting," Fernando said sarcastically._

_"Stop moping," David shoved him, "Get up, we're going. Pepe and beer will cheer you up."_

_"I don't really feel like it."_

_"Look, Nando, either you're coming with me, or I'm calling Sergio and he'll kick your lazy ass right to the bar," David threatened._

_"Fine, I'm coming. Asshole."_

_David just laughed. "Move it."_

~~~

_Pepe and beer really cheered Fernando up, even if the jokes were mainly at his and Xabi's expense. Only Sergio seemed quieter than usual._

_"Something's wrong, Sergi?" Fernando asked, when Sergio didn't even smile at Pepe's especially funny joke._

_"Huh? No."_

_"I don't believe you."_

_"Bugger off, Nando, I'm fine."_

_"Yeah, you sure look fine."_

_"No need for sarcasm. I know you don't like my face."_

_Fernando wanted to answer, but his cell rang at that moment and looking at the caller ID, his face immediately brightened._

_"Be right back," he cried over the loud music and sprinted out of the bar._

_Sergio slammed his fist on the table, making everyone jump._

_"What the hell, man?" Pepe said._

_"I fucking hate him," Sergio growled._

_"Serge, we all know how you feel about Nando, but there's no need to hate on Iker," Xabi said._

_"Really, Sergio, Iker is a nice guy. He and Nando love each other. Please stop that," David said annoyed._

_"I saw your beloved Iker today before coming here. With another guy!" Sergio spat._

_"Whoa, what do you mean?" David said._

_"You heard me. Our angel was with another guy. He's cheating on Nando!"_

_"Sergio, let's be reasonable," Xabi said calmly, "If you saw him with another guy, it doesn't mean he's cheating on Nando. It could be a friend or a colleague."_

_"Oh, really, Mr. Know-it-all?" Sergio mocked, "Do you hold hands with your colleague or squeeze your friend's ass?"_

_"I do!" Pepe intervened, "If they're female. Though it doesn't concern Pati or Nagore, of course. Okay, I'll shut up."_

_"So what are you going to do?" David asked._

_"I don't know. I should tell Nando about it. It's not fair that he's so in love, while Iker cheats on him."_

_"You mean it's not fair that he's so in love, but not with you," Xabi said._

_"You think I made it all up, don't you, Xabi?" Sergio shouted, "For your information I want Nando to be happy more than anyone else, even if he has to be with Iker."_

_"Serge, calm down, I don't think you made it up and I know you care about Nando," Xabi said, "That's why I say you should think twice before telling him anything. You don't know anything for sure. It's not like you saw him sleeping with another one. What if you just make him doubt Iker, but it turns out to be nothing? You'll harm all three of you. Think about it, Sergio."_

_Sergio pursed his lips, but didn't answer, seeing Fernando enter with a smile on his face._

_"What did Iker say to make you so happy?" Pepe teased._

_"None of your business," Fernando laughed, "Okay, he apologized again and told me he would make it up to me. Do you want to know exactly how?"_

_"No, please," Pepe said with a horrified expression on his face._

_"Thought so," Fernando smirked, "So, did Sergio tell you what's up his ass?"_

_Everyone looked at Sergio, and Fernando frowned. "What's going on?"_

_Sergio looked up and smiled broadly. "Everything's fine, Nandito," he teased, and rolling his eyes Fernando joined the general laughter._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The knock at the door startles Fernando. He jumps to his feet and hides the pencils and notebook. It must be Sergio. Yesterday he promised to come. Reaching the door, Fernando looks out of the peephole. Sergio, indeed. Fernando hesitates. After what Iker told him he's not sure he should open the door. Sergio knocks louder and calls his name and Fernando gives in. 

"What took you so long?" Sergio says before pulling his friend into a hug. When Fernando pushes him away, he looks at him in surprise. "Nando?" 

"I think you'd better not come here anymore," Fernando says with an absent look. 

Sergio tilts his head. "Why?" he asks suspiciously. 

"It'll be right." 

"No, it won't, Nando. Let's sit and talk." 

Fernando follows him wordlessly into his own living-room and sits on the edge of a chair as far from Sergio as possible. 

"So?" Sergio says, "Tell me what's happened." 

Fernando closes his eyes briefly. "Why did you go to Iker's office yesterday?" 

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry, Nando," Sergio says, "Did that bastard... do something to you for that? I didn't think about that, I'm so sorry." 

"He didn't do anything to me," Fernando says quietly, rubbing his jaw, "I don't want you to go to him again." 

"I won't, I promise. I just was so mad for what he's done to you. You're not like yourself. He turned you into another person." 

"Then what do you want from me?" Fernando whispers. 

Sergio stares at him. "If you want the truth, Nando, I want to take you away from this," he says passionately, "If you want, we can go right now. Just say yes, please, and I'll take you away." 

"Why?" Fernando's whisper is barely audible. 

"What do you mean why?" Sergio shrugs, "We're friends, aren't we? You're my best friend." 

"I'm not the same person, you said it yourself," Fernando says bitterly, "You don't know me. Why do you care about me?" 

Sergio blinks with his mouth open for a few seconds, then quickly goes to Fernando and crouches in front of his chair, taking Fernando's hands in his. 

"Nando, look at me," he says gently. 

Fernando raises his head slowly and looks into Sergio's eyes. 

"Remember we promised each other we'll always stay friends?" Sergio asks, "No matter what, we will always be there for each other?" 

Fernando doesn't answer, biting his lip. 

"I didn't keep my promise, Nando, I wasn't there when you needed me," Sergio whispers, "But let me keep it at least now, please." 

"You don't need to do anything, Sergio," Fernando says hoarsely. 

"Let me take you away from here," Sergio says. 

Fernando shakes his head frightened. "No, I don't want to." 

"Why?" 

"Sergi, please. I don't want to talk about it," Fernando pleads, and Sergio can't say no to those eyes. 

"Okay, then let's watch a movie," he sighs, deciding to stick to his original plan of taking it slow. 

Fernando nods relieved and moves to the couch. Sergio sits next to him so that their knees are touching, and Fernando tenses. 

"What?" Sergio looks at him questioningly. 

"Iker says you just want to sleep with me," Fernando blurts out, "He says then you'll throw me away." 

Sergio clenches his fists, but makes himself answer calmly. "Do you think it's true?" he asks. 

Fernando shrugs. 

"Fer, I thought you knew me," Sergio says offended. 

"I don't know anything," Fernando whispers. 

"No, you do!" Sergio cries, regretting it when Fernando startles. "You know me. You _know_ me, Nando. Have known for years. Do you think I'm that kind of a person?" 

Fernando looks down and then shakes his head. Sergio smiles and puts a small kiss on his temple. "Let's watch the movie," he says, grabbing the remote control. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Hi," Fernando greeted the small boy standing by the boxes._

_The boy just looked at him and hid behind the boxes._

_"Want a cookie?" Fernando asked, opening his palm._

_The boy glanced at the cookie, but then shook his head and put his thumb in his mouth._

_"What is your name?" Fernando didn't want to give up._

_He was a little offended, when he didn't receive an answer, and even thought about turning back and leaving, but his mother had told him to go and talk with their new neighbor, because he didn't know anyone there. So he decided to give it another try._

_"My name is Fernando," he said._

_This time the boy smiled a little._

_"I live there," Fernando said, pointing at their house._

_When he received no reaction from the boy, he shrugged, as though wanting to tell him that it was him who missed a lot, not Fernando. Fernando had a lot of friends, he'd lived here all his life. Still he couldn't help pouting a little, when he turned back and started walking to his house._

_"Sergio," he heard a small voice and turned back. "My name," the boy said._

_Fernando beamed at him. "Do you want to play?" he asked._

_Sergio nodded._

_"Wait here, I'll go fetch the ball," Fernando said excited, "You play football, right?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Then wait, I'll be back in a minute."_

_Sergio smiled again, and for some reason it made Fernando feel happy. He decided he would try to make him smile again._

_"Mum, where is the ball?" he called, when he was in the house._

_His mother brought it to him a moment later. "Put your toys somewhere, where you can find them later," she said._

_"Yes, mum," Fernando promised absent-mindedly and grabbing the ball, started running._

_"Fernando, wait," Mrs. Torres called after him, "Did you talk to that little boy there?"_

_"Yeah, mum. His name is Sergio and we're going to play football. He didn't want to talk first and I wanted to go, but then he did and I told him I'll go fetch the ball. He said he plays football and he's very beautiful."_

_Mrs. Torres laughed. "Okay, honey, just be careful. Don't hit him hard with the ball. He's new and he's younger than you."_

_"I won't, mum," Fernando promised and ran out._

_They played for hours. Fernando always played as a keeper and also this time after kicking the ball around for a while, he stood between two rocks which served as the goal and tried to stop Sergio's shoots. Every time he scored a goal, Sergio cried loudly and laughed, and for a few times Fernando even let in a goal deliberately just to hear him laugh._

_It was already getting dark, when Israel came after them. "Here you are," he said, "Mum is looking for you, Fer. Yours too, Sergio."_

_Sergio immediately hid behind Fernando._

_"This is Isra, my brother," Fernando told him, "Don't worry."_

_They went back together, but Sergio didn't really talk at the presence of Israel. They waited until Sergio's mother and father opened the door and saying goodbye to them, went home._

_"You found a new friend?" Israel asked._

_Fernando nodded happily. "He's great. He plays so well and he always laughs, but only when he's with me. He's really shy. I want to play with him again."_

_"Wow, you sound really excited," Israel laughed._

_For some reason Fernando blushed and didn't answer. But remembering Sergio's laughter, he smiled again. He couldn't wait till morning._


	7. Chapter 7

Sergio's visits have become the best part of Fernando's day. He comes almost every day and they watch a movie, eat something Fernando prepared in the morning or just talk. Well, mostly Sergio talks, Fernando listens. He doesn't chat to strangers anymore, instead he's started drawing with newfound inspiration. 

After a few horrible days his life with Iker has gone back to usual. Iker goes out early in the morning, comes back late in the evening and from time to time fucks Fernando. When he's in a very bad mood, he hits him a few times or punishes him in other ways, always finding a fault in something Fernando does or says, but thankfully it finishes at that. Fernando can take it, it's nothing serious. 

One day he and Sergio are sitting in the living room, doing nothing, when Sergio suddenly says, "Let's go for a walk." 

Fernando's head jolts up and his eyes widen, when he sees that Sergio's serious. "No, I don't feel like it," he mumbles. 

"Why?" 

Fernando looks away, biting his lips, but there is really no point in hiding the truth, is there? He just hopes Sergio won't yell. 

"I can't go out without Iker's permission," he says. 

The fact that he whispers it, doesn’t make it any less humiliating. 

Sergio doesn’t yell, though it obviously takes him a lot of efforts. "But he doesn't have to know, does he?" 

Fernando looks at him horrified, as though lying to Iker is the greatest sin on earth. Then he shakes his head. "No, he calls me every day to check if everything's fine." 

"We’ll take the phone with us," Sergio insists. 

"The neighbors will be very surprised to see me out with a stranger," Fernando mumbles. 

"Then let's go to my place," Sergio offers. 

Fernando's mouth falls open. "Are you crazy, Sergio?" he laughs nervously. 

"No, let's go. Take the phone, my car is outside. I'll take you to my flat and then drive you back. Iker won't know anything." 

"He will. He always knows," Fernando whispers. 

"Nando, he's not a god," Sergio says, "You can't always stay at home. Let's go, please. I promise to you everything will be fine." 

"I don't know," Fernando murmurs. 

"Just trust me," Sergio smiles and getting up, stretches his hand. 

"Sergi, please don’t make me," Fernando says, looking into his eyes. 

"I'm not making you," Sergio says, taken aback, "I thought you would want to go out once in a while. But if you don't want to, it's okay, we can stay here." 

Fernando doesn't say anything, just lowers his head. 

"So do you want to come or not, Nando? Just tell me the truth." 

"I don't know," Fernando mumbles. 

"You don't know what you want?" 

Fernando shakes his head. 

Sergio sighs. "Look, Nando, I really want you to come, but you must decide yourself. I promise that Iker won't know." 

Fernando takes a few deep breaths his eyes closed, then looks up at Sergio. "Okay," he whispers. 

Sergio's face brightens immediately. "Thank you," he cries, hugging Fernando, "Let's go." 

Fernando trails behind him, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He hasn't been out of this door without Iker for over a year probably. He feels dizzy and doesn't notice how he moves closer to Sergio. The younger man squeezes his hand. "It's fine," he whispers, when Fernando takes a shuddering breath. 

Sergio's jaw is clenched, as though he's in pain, and Fernando's heart breaks, because he knows it's because of him. He wants to apologize, but Sergio doesn't like it when he does it, so he just follows him silently and lets out a sigh of relief when he's in the car. Open spaces make him nervous. 

Sergio smiles at him and starts off the car. Fernando is overwhelmed with a sense of panic, when the gravity of his actions hits him suddenly. He wants to shout at his friend to stop the car, but Sergio smiles again and says "it's okay, Nando," and Fernando shuts his mouth. Let it be as it may. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Rafael Benítez was explaining the requests of their new clients to the group. Fernando was listening carefully, trying not to miss a single detail, though knowing Rafa, he would make him learn everything by heart in less than two days._

_Not that Fernando minded it. He loved his job and still considered himself incredibly lucky to have it. He felt appreciated there. Rafa was a convinced workaholic and would have slept at the office if Abramovich let him. The worst thing was that he demanded from everyone what he demanded of himself. The best thing was that he loved Fernando._

_It was no secret that Rafa admired Fernando's talent and believed that he had a bright future and would be his successor at the company. At first his older co-workers were cold towards him because of Rafa's attitude, but soon Fernando won them over. His mum always said that it was impossible to dislike him after getting to know him, and at work Fernando was almost ready to believe her. Soon the snide remarks about him being Rafa's favorite turned into friendly jokes that Fernando himself participated in. Being the youngest in the creative department, he became not just Rafa's, but everyone's favorite, and the affection soon was accompanied by respect, when his talent became apparent to everyone._

_"Fernando," Rafa cried, "What do you think?"_

_"Hmm?" Fernando said, blinking, "I-I think..."_

_"I think you zoned out," Rafa said pointedly._

_Fernando blushed. "No, I was listening, really, Rafa..."_

_"Guys, I know, that I bore you to death with my talks," Rafa said, "But can you at least pretend you're paying attention?"_

_"I-I was... paying attention..." Fernando mumbled, playing nervously with his hair._

_"No, you were daydreaming, Nando," John, Rafa's assistant, said._

_"About that handsome boyfriend of yours," Frank added._

_"You should be happy he wasn't daydreaming about the handsome boyfriend of yours," John snickered._

_Everyone burst out laughing, including the very red Fernando._

_"Okay, guys, enough, pay attention," Rafa said, "This is very important. Fernando, come here."_

_Fernando hurried to his boss, glad to escape the remarks about Iker and him. Rafa showed him two sketches of the board they had to prepare for the client. "Which one?" he asked._

_Fernando thought for a moment. "This one," he said, pointing to the left sketch._

_"Sure?" Rafa asked._

_"Absolutely."_

_"Why?"_

_"It looks more simple, but that will catch more attention. Besides, it transfers the message better. It's easier to understand..."_

_"Okay, enough," Rafa smiled, "So now tell me how come those idiots don't understand that?"_

_Fernando shrugged. "If you want, I can change that sketch so that it will look more... flashy as they want, but will maintain the features that we like."_

_Rafa raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you can do that?"_

_"Why not?"_

_"Fernando, it's good that you're so confident, but we have deadlines. Are you sure you can in very brief terms prepare something that the client will like? Remember, they're one of our most important clients."_

_"I'm sure, Rafa. I can do that," Fernando said calmly, "I never promise something, if I'm not confident I can keep my promise."_

_"Rafa, give the boy a chance," John cried, "We all know that you will do that in the end."_

_Rafa glared at him, but then laughed. "You can see through me, can't you? Fine, Fernando, show me what you can do with this."_

_"Thanks, Rafa," Fernando said._

_He would have hugged him, but at the last moment remembered that Rafa wasn't okay with showing affection. This was a chance Fernando had dreamed about. A few months ago he wouldn't have dared even to think about taking this assignment, but now he was more confident. He was sure he could do it. One day, he thought, he would take over the world._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Iker calls when Fernando is in Sergio's car. Despite his trembling voice, Fernando manages not to raise suspicion or at least that's what Sergio tells him. They stop in front of a building in a part of the city Fernando doesn't know and go up. 

"Well, welcome to my place," Sergio says, opening the door. 

Fernando goes in, looking around carefully, as though afraid to touch anything. Last time he visited Sergio he was living in another place, this one isn't familiar to him. 

"Fer, relax, everything's fine," Sergio smiles to him. 

Fernando nods and sits on the couch when Sergio tells him so. 

"Well, how do you like it?" Sergio asks. 

"It's... nice," Fernando says quietly. He still looks on edge, tense and uncomfortable, and Sergio groans inwardly. 

"You know what I'll do now?" he says cheerfully, "I'll make something quick to eat for us." 

"I'll help you," Fernando offers. 

"No, you always make something for me, when I visit you. Now it's my turn. You sit here, I'll be back soon." 

Sergio goes out of the room promising to make the best pancakes he's ever tasted. Fernando remains seated for a while and then starts walking around in the room. He stops in front of a ridiculous looking big vase and smiles, remembering its story. He used to make fun of Sergio for collecting stupid, useless objects. The younger man always defended his precious possessions, saying it was his way of creatively expressing himself. Fernando bought this vase himself for Sergio after he pretended to be offended by his jokes about his dubious taste. So Sergio still has it. 

Fernando brings his hand to trace the outlines of the vase carefully. Sergio's phone chooses right that moment to ring and jumping out if his skin and pushing the vase a little, Fernando can only watch in horror as it falls on the floor and breaks to little pieces. 

"What was that?" Sergio calls from somewhere. 

Fernando doesn't answer. The phone has stopped ringing and he's standing next to the remnants of the vase, trembling, then falls down to his knees, trying to gather them all. God, he's the biggest idiot to ever walk on earth. Iker is right. He never learns. Last time he got severely punished for something like this and now he does just the same thing. Idiot. Irredeemable, hopeless, brainless idiot. 

"Nando, what was that?" Sergio says, peeking in and freezing, when he sees his friend knelt next to the pieces of the vase. 

Fernando looks up at him slowly. There are tears in his eyes and he's trembling. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I didn't want to... I didn't do it on purpose... I'm so sorry..." 

Sergio runs to him to see if he's hurt. Fernando backs to the wall and covers his head with his hands. Overcoming the shock, Sergio kneels next to him and tries to remove his hands from his face. Fernando lets out a little, scared whimper and Sergio's overwhelmed with an urge to kill the bastard who's turned his Nando into this. 

"Nando," Sergio says gently. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please," Fernando murmurs. 

"Nando, everything's fine. Nothing has happened. Do you hear me? Open your eyes. It's just a vase. I'm not angry, Fer. Look at me, please, look at me," Sergio begs, his own voice starting to tremble. 

Fernando slowly lowers his hands and looks at Sergio. He flinches when Sergio moves, but the younger man doesn't pay attention to it and wraps his arms around his shoulders. Fernando is still trembling, but calms down a little, when Sergio rubs his back soothingly and whispers to his ear that everything's okay. 

"You thought I was going to hit you?" he says after a while. 

Fernando shifts uncomfortably in his arms and goes red. "I broke your vase," he whispers. 

"So what? You think it's okay to hit people for breaking things?" 

Fernando doesn't answer. 

"Does he hit you for that?" 

Worse, Fernando wants to say, but instead grips Sergio's shirt tighter and starts shaking again. 

"Shit, I'm sorry," Sergio whispers, mentally slapping himself, "Shh, don't cry, Nando. Please don't. I'm so sorry." 

After a while Fernando goes slack in his arms and Sergio helps him to his feet, leading him to the couch. "I'll bring you some water," he says. 

When he returns, Fernando's sitting on the edge of the couch, looking distraught. 

"Sorry," he says again, draining the glass. 

"Nando, I told you..." 

"No, not for the vase," Fernando says quietly, "For-for that scene. For thinking you would do that to me." 

Sergio sits down next to him. "It's okay. I understand." 

Fernando puts his head on Sergio's shoulder. He doesn't say anything else, just sits like that, while Sergio strokes his face and kisses his hair. Suddenly Fernando raises his head to meet his eyes and the look in them is more than Sergio can take. He leans forward and presses his lips to Fernando's. 

The kiss, if it can be called a kiss, lasts only a few seconds, because Fernando pulls back too soon. "Please, Sergi," he whispers. 

"Sorry," Sergio says. 

Fernando moves away from him, but Sergio catches his hand and looks him into the eyes. "I still love you," he breathes. 

"I want to go home," Fernando says, his eyes filling with tears again. 

Sergio lets go of his hand and looks away. "Okay," he murmurs and gets up of the couch, discreetly wiping his eyes. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando put his favorite sweater in the bag and closed it. He looked around at the apartment and sighed. From the next day he wouldn't be living here anymore. At first he hadn't believed Iker when he had asked him to move to his place, but here he was now, gathering his things. And he had been thinking where he was going to live when Patricia and David decided to move in together. Iker's apartment wasn't a big one, but it was enough for two, besides Iker thought soon he could afford himself a bigger house. It didn't really matter to Fernando, he was ready to live with Iker even under the bridge._

_Putting the bag in one corner, he decided to go to sleep, as in the morning Iker was coming to help him with his things. He had already taken off his shirt when someone knocked at the door. Furrowing his brows, Fernando went to open it, wondering who it could be at this hour. David was going to spend the night at Patricia's despite Fernando's mutterings that he didn't want to stay with him his last night at their apartment. "I'm still going to see you every day," David had waved him off._

_Fernando opened the door and was greeted by the sight of a grinning and swaying Sergio._

_"Wow, you're so beautiful," Sergio gasped, looking at his bare chest._

_Fernando rolled his eyes. "Are you drunk?"_

_"A little," Sergio chuckled, stumbling in, "Oh, I see you've already packed."_

_"Who have you been drinking with?" Fernando frowned, "And why did you get so wasted?"_

_"Uh, with Pepe, then with a guy from the radio, then with his friend, then with some stranger and then alone," Sergio mumbled, falling on Fernando's bed._

_Fernando shook his head smiling. "Are you staying here?" he asked, sitting next to his friend._

_Sergio mumbled something incoherent and Fernando poked him. "Sergi?" he said._

_Sergio groaned and turned to him. "You're beautiful," he repeated with awe._

_"It's not the first time you see me," Fernando snorted._

_"No," Sergio agreed, "But it's the last day I'm free to see you. You're moving to Iker's."_

_"So? I'm not changing the country," Fernando said, "We'll still see each other."_

_Sergio suddenly sat up and looked pleadingly at Fernando. "Don't go, Fer. Don't go, please. Stay with me."_

_"Sergi," Fernando said gently, "It's fine. You're still my best friend."_

_Sergio shook his head. "No, no, I don't want it, I don't want it," he cried._

_"Sergio, let's put you to bed, shall we?" Fernando said patiently, "You need to sleep and sober up."_

_"No, I need you," Sergio cried, clinging to Fernando's arms, "I love you. I love you, Nando."_

_Fernando stared at him open-mouthed. "What?"_

_"Choose me instead of him," Sergio demanded, tears falling from his eyes, "Stay with me. Please, choose me."_

_"Sergio, you're drunk..."_

_"I got drunk, because I love you. Because it hurts like hell to know that you're going to live with Iker," Sergio sobbed._

_Fernando was shocked, but he couldn't watch his best friend's pain and do nothing. "Come here," he said, pulling Sergio to himself. The younger man hugged him gratefully and pressed his wet face to Fernando's chest._

_"How long?" Fernando whispered._

_"Since you started going out with Iker," Sergio hiccupped._

_"Oh my God, Sergio," Fernando said bitterly, "We're both idiots, aren't we? I had such a huge crush on you, when we were teenagers."_

_It was Sergio's turn to look at him with wide eyes._

_"Yeah," Fernando shrugged, "But you were straight, you were seeing girls and coming to me only for a fuck. You always repeated that we were best friends. Nothing more."_

_Sergio closed his eyes and then let out a loud sob. "Sorry, Nando, I was an idiot," he wailed._

_"Hey, Sergi, it's okay," Fernando said softly._

_"Let's start it over," Sergio pleaded, "I don't want you to live with Iker. I want to be with you. Please, Nando, dump him."_

_"I love him, Sergio," Fernando smiled, "You'll get over me, I promise, like I got over you."_

_Sergio shook his head desperately. "No, I won't," he sobbed._

_"Shh, let's put you to bed," Fernando said, "You can stay here, I'll sleep on David's bed."_

_"I want to sleep with you," Sergio said, putting his hands on Fernando's chest._

_"Sergio, I won't cheat on Iker..."_

_"No, just-just sleep, nothing else," Sergio assured him, "Please, Nando, please?"_

_Fernando sighed. "Okay."_

_Sergio smiled like a kid who'd been promised ice-cream and with unexpected speed got rid of his clothes. He slipped under the covers and looked expectantly at Fernando. The older man shook his head, but lay down next to his friend. Sergio immediately snuggled closer to the warmth of Fernando's body and clang to him desperately. Fernando felt that he started crying again and tried to soothe him, passing his fingers through his hair. It seemed to help and Sergio's breathing evened out. Fernando fell asleep soon after._

_In the morning Sergio quietly slipped out of the bed, put on his clothes, then softly kissed the crown of Fernando's hair. "Thank you," he whispered to his sleeping friend and left before the tears would start falling again._


	8. Chapter 8

It rarely happens that Iker actually talks to Fernando, tells him about his day and his work. It usually means that he's in a very good mood and Fernando should try not to spoil it. Today is one of those days, but Fernando can't bring himself to listen. Sergio's kiss doesn't leave his mind, neither do his words that he still loves him. What if he chose Sergio when he had a chance? What if Sergio fell for him back when Fernando himself was in love with him? Where would he be now? 

"You aren't even listening to me," Iker's snarl brings him back to reality. 

"I-I am, Iker, I'm l-listening," Fernando stutters. 

"Yeah? What did Mourinho tell me about the project?" 

"He said... Uh, he-he... I don't know. Sorry." 

Iker casts him a destroying look. "So why do you complain that I never talk to you, if when I do, you never listen?" he hisses. 

Fernando doesn't remember when he complained about it, but he doesn't say anything, just looking at Iker and desperately searching for an answer. 

"Why are you staring at me like an idiot?" Iker growls. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Fernando didn't intend to say it out loud. The words leave his mouth before he can think about them. 

"What?" Iker narrows his eyes. 

Fernando swallows. "T-this," he says, making a vague gesture, "Why-why do you treat me like this?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"You know," Fernando says quietly. 

The cruel smirk on Iker's face makes him shiver. "Don't you know that, baby?" he coos, "You get what you deserve. If you don't fuck up, you don't get punished. If you fuck up, you do. I thought it was clear for you, but turns out you're not smart enough to understand such simple things. Oh honey, what were you going to do without me?" 

"You don't love me, do you?" Fernando whispers. 

"You know that I do," Iker answers, "I'm the only person in the world who loves you." 

"Sergio loves me too." 

Fernando's words are barely audible even to himself, but Iker hears. Within seconds he appears next to Fernando and yanks at his hair. 

"Did you meet him?" he hisses into his ear, pulling his hair with such might that Fernando thinks his neck will break. 

"N-no," he whispers. 

"Why don't I believe you?" Iker shouts, throwing him away. 

Fernando falls on the floor face down and doesn't manage to avoid Iker's kick. 

"This is why I treat you like this," Iker snarls, pulling him up to his knees by the hair, "Because whenever I try to talk to you, to treat you like a human being, you always, always have to fuck it up." 

"Iker, I'm sorry, please, I'm really sorry," Fernando begs, clutching at Iker's hand in his hair, "I never met him, I swear. Please, believe me. I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry." 

Iker's other hand wraps around Fernando's throat. "You think your precious Sergio loves you more?" he growls, "He would have killed you by now if you were with him. No one can stand you. Even your own family doesn't want to see you. I'm the only one who puts up with you." 

"I know, I know," Fernando chokes out, "I'm sorry. I love you, Iker. Forgive me. Please, Iker." 

"You love me? What about Sergio?" Iker mocks, "If you want to be with him so much, you can go. No, you have to go." 

Iker drags him to the door, pulls him to his feet and opening the door, shoves him out. "Go to your Sergio," he cackles, "Let's see how long it'll take him to kick you out too." 

Fernando remains petrified for a moment. He turns back - there are cars, people walking on the street, children playing and Fernando feels scared, alone. When was the last time he was out on his own? He doesn't remember. 

"Iker," he cries, "Open the door, please." He knocks loudly. "Please, Iker." 

"Go to Sergio, I said," Iker shouts. 

Fernando takes a few shaky steps away from the door. If he goes to Sergio, maybe he'll take him in? Maybe he really loves him? But how is he going to leave Iker? He can never leave him, Iker will never let him. He's just testing him, wants to see if he'll really be stupid enough to go to Sergio. 

Sergio doesn't love him. He loves the boy he knew, he doesn't know the new Fernando and when he gets to know him, he'll hate him. Who wouldn't hate a pathetic caricature of a person, who's scared to take a few steps alone? His breathing quickens and he feels dizzy, when he takes another step closer to the street. No, he'll never make it, he's not strong enough, he's no one. He turns back and stumbles to the house. 

"Iker, I don't want to go to Sergio," he pleads, leaning on the door for support, "I want to come home. Please." 

"I don't care," Iker laughs, "You don't deserve it." 

Fernando knocks and begs for a few more minutes, but Iker doesn't answer. He sits in front of the door, hugging his knees and holding back the tears. Why did he say it? Iker was talking to him like he actually cared about his opinion, he was gentle and kind, but Fernando fucked it up. Again. Iker has a right to be mad at him. What is he going to do now? What if... What if Iker never takes him back? What is he going to do then? He's got no one. His siblings hate him and his parents hate him, because he fought with his siblings. Sergio will kick him out when he sees the real him and he's got no one else. No one else to go to. Only Iker. He can't live without him. He'll die right here, in front of the house. 

When it becomes too dark and too cold in the street, Fernando decides to try his luck again. "Iker," he calls, "Iker, I'm cold. Please let me in." 

He waits hopefully for a few minutes, but Iker doesn't even answer. Fernando slumps on the stairs again, curling up on himself. Looks like he has to spend the night here. Only the thought makes him shudder and his eyes fill with tears. The street scares him to death. He wants to go in and never leave again. Iker had to know something when he didn't let him go out alone. Tears start falling down from his eyes. Now he would give everything to sleep on the floor next to Iker's bed. 

"Please," he cries, "I'm scared, Iker. I love you. Only you. I will never, ever make you mad again. Just let me in. Please, let me in." 

The door opens a little and Fernando looks up, wiping his eyes. 

"You always say you'll never make me mad, but you keep doing it," Iker says coldly, "So now I'm letting you free. Isn't that what you wanted? You're free." 

"I don't want it," Fernando whispers, voice breaking, "I want to be with you. I'm so sorry, Iker. Please, let me make it up to you." 

"No," Iker says simply and before Fernando can beg again, closes the door to his face. 

Hours pass and Fernando grows colder and more scared by every minute. He hasn't moved from his place on the stairs, praying for Iker to have mercy on him and let him in. 

"Heeeey," someone shouts and Fernando's head jolts up. 

Two strangers are standing a few meters from him and waving to him while grinning widely. They seem drunk or high, and Fernando instinctively moves closer to the door. 

"Hey, I'm talking to you," one of them slurs, taking a step forward, "Do you have money? We would use some if you do." 

"N-no, I don't," Fernando says, knocking frantically at the door. 

"Come here," the other man shouts. 

"Iker," Fernando cries, jumping up and starting to kick, "Iker, please. I'll do anything. Just open the door. Please." 

His eyes widen, when one of the man takes out a knife and starts moving to him menacingly. 

"Oh God, Iker, open the door," he shouts, "Please, please, I'll do anything." 

The tears are flowing down in rivers from Fernando's eyes. He feels the men's footsteps right behind him, when he hears the key turn in the lock. The door opens and Fernando falls into Iker's arms, trembling with whole body. He hugs Iker tightly, sobbing and murmuring thanks and apologies. 

"So what were you telling about making it up to me?" Iker says, when Fernando's sobs subside. 

"Anything. Anything you want," Fernando whispers into Iker's neck, still clutching at his shirt. 

Iker pats him on the head. "Then let's go upstairs, baby." 

From his voice Fernando understands that he has something special, most probably painful, in mind, but now he's just happy that he's been allowed inside and nods, trailing after Iker. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"I think I didn't understand something, Fernando," Rafa said, shaking his head, "You want to quit your job?"_

_"Yes," Fernando whispered._

_"No," Rafa said, "You can't go."_

_"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Rafa," Fernando said, unable to meet his eyes._

_"But why? I don't understand," Rafa said, "Did you find a better job?"_

_"No."_

_"Then why?"_

_"For-for personal reasons. I'd appreciate if you didn't make me talk about it."_

_Rafa looked at Fernando. His eyes were pleading not to make this harder on him, but Rafa couldn't let his talent go to waste._

_"Listen, Nando, what if you just take a break?" he suggested, "I know I've been stressing you a lot lately. I sometimes tend to forget that some people have personal lives..."_

_"It's not that, Rafa..."_

_"Wait, at least listen to me. You're tired. I know that. Forgive me, I've noticed lately that you're not like yourself, but we had an important project and..."_

_"Rafa, it's not your fault," Fernando interrupted, "I love this company. I love working with you. I love this job. But I have to go."_

_"Okay, think for a few days and then we'll talk."_

_"My decision is final," Fernando said quietly._

_"Fernando..."_

_"Please, Rafa. I won't change my mind. I don't want to take a break. I don't want to do this job anymore." Fernando looked into his eyes. "Please, let me go."_

_"I can't believe it," Rafa muttered, "You have such a bright future ahead. You can't leave this just like that."_

_"I'm sorry," Fernando mumbled._

_"I'm sorry too," Rafa said sincerely, "Now go talk with the president. I'll let him know."_

_Fernando nodded. He knew it would be easier with Abramovich. He had been afraid of talking to Rafa more._

_The president was shocked too and tried to convince Fernando to stay, but if Rafa hadn't been able to convince him, no one would._

_"I finished all the projects assigned to me," Fernando said, "But if you need me to do something else..."_

_"No, Fernando, if you want to go, you can go even right now," Abramovich said._

_"Thank you," Fernando said, "Thank you for everything and forgive me for leaving this way."_

_"I hope you know what you're doing," Abramovich said, "Good luck."_

_"Thank you," Fernando said again and shaking his hand, said his goodbyes and went out of his office._

_At the end of the day everyone at the creative department and even from the other departments knew that Fernando Torres, Bentiez' assistant, was leaving his job. The end of the day couldn't come sooner for Fernando, who had to answer every kind of questions. When the working day ended, Fernando said goodbye to all his colleagues and collecting his few things, went to the door. Rafa wasn't in the office and Fernando wanted to wait for him to return, but Iker had called and said he would be in front of the office in the evening. Fernando took a deep breath and when he wanted to go out, Rafa appeared in front of him._

_"So you're leaving?" he asked._

_Fernando nodded, smiling at him apologetically._

_Rafa pulled him into a hug. "Good luck, Fernando. Remember, you're very talented. Don't let it go to waste."_

_"Thanks, Rafa," Fernando said shyly, "Thanks for everything you've done for me."_

_"Take care, kid."_

_"I will."_

_With one last smile Fernando waved to everyone and went out. Iker was already waiting for him, so he hurried to the car._

_"Hi, baby," Iker said, kissing him, "Did you do it?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"You're awesome," Iker smiled, "Thank you."_

_Fernando looked at the office doors. "Remind me again why I'm doing this or I'll change my mind," he said._

_"For us, baby, for us," Iker told him, "So we can have more time for each other."_

_Fernando nodded, then looked out of the window again. "Wait, I didn't say a proper goodbye to Juan. I'll be right back."_

_"Stay where you are," Iker growled and Fernando's head jolted to him startled._

_Iker started off the car. "You'll talk to him later," he said softer, "Now let's go to celebrate."_

_Fernando wasn't sure there was a cause for celebration, but nodded wordlessly, still shaken by the fury in Iker's eyes a few seconds ago._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando wakes up, feeling like every bone in his body has been broken to little pieces. He gets up from the floor groaning. Damn, he can't even walk properly. It's late. Iker probably took pity on him and didn't wake him up when he went to work. Fernando drags his feet to the kitchen and pours himself some water. His throat is sore from screaming that much last night. When Iker is in the mood, he likes it when Fernando screams. 

Sergio will probably come soon. Fernando wishes he wouldn't. Because of him Iker punishes him a lot more. No, it's not because of him. Fernando is the only one to blame. He has to tell Sergio not to come again. He has to tell him that he doesn't want to see him. Even if it's not true. Even if he feels so good with Sergio. 

Though now he feels strangely indifferent. As though yesterday's ordeal sucked out all the feelings from him. It doesn't matter what will happen to him. It's good in a way to feel so light, even if he guesses that he's more empty. Drained. 

The doorbell rings and Fernando slowly goes to get it. Sergio will see that he doesn't look good. He will ask what happened and Fernando won't know what to say. Sergio will get mad and tell him to leave Iker and go with him. Fernando will say no and will upset Sergio again. He hates when Sergio is upset. 

"Hi, Fer," Sergio says brightly, when Fernando opens the door, though Fernando sees how he cringes. 

When they sit on the couch, he tells Fernando about the guy he interviewed in his program in the morning and the one he's going to interview in the evening. He makes sandwiches for both of them and he remembers just how Fernando likes them. He doesn't ask why Fernando is limping, why his voice sounds hoarse, why his eyes are red or why he can't find a comfortable position to sit. He just frowns a little, when Fernando winces in pain, and silently pulls his friend to him, letting him lie on the couch, putting his head in Sergio's lap. Sergio's fingers ran ghostly along his spine in soothing moves and Fernando feels so at peace, that even the thought about Iker seeing him like this doesn't bother him. 

"Would you show me your sketches?" Sergio says out of the blue and it surprises Fernando so much, that he forgets he's told Sergio he throws them away. 

"They're stupid," he murmurs. 

"Since when do I care about that?" Sergio rolls his eyes. 

Maybe it's because Sergio made him sandwiches or because he didn't ask about anything or because he made him feel good, but Fernando nods. 

"Wait a moment," he whispers. 

He goes to the guest room as quickly as he can and lifts up the mattress of the bed. He's hidden his notebooks there, so Iker can't find them. They are six of them - five full of drawings and one half-full. Fernando's work of years, his most priced possessions, which helped him at the most difficult times. He let Iker convince him to quit his job partly because he thought that he'd have more time to follow his dream of drawing a comic book. Now he doesn't dare call it a comic book. He doesn't draw to achieve something. He just does it, because it makes him happy, makes him forget for a moment that he's just a waste of space. 

He takes all the notebooks and goes down. 

"Here," he says, handing them to Sergio. 

The younger man's eyes widen. He expected maybe a notebook or several sheets, but not this. 

"This is the first one," Fernando mumbles, pointing to one of the notebooks. 

Sergio opens the first page. There are only drawings and few words. Fernando has never been good with words. 

By the time Sergio looks up from the notebook, Fernando is tomato red. 

"Nando, this is..." Sergio starts, "I don't even know. This is beyond awesome." 

Fernando blushes even more. "It's really nothing," he says quietly, "Just for fun." 

"No, it's not nothing," Sergio objects, "It's something. You're so talented, Nando." 

Fernando just shrugs, but can't help smiling. 

"Can I take these home?" Sergio says, "Want to see all of them." 

Fernando hesitates, but nods in the end. 

"Thank you," Sergio says and then hugs him. "Now let's watch a movie," he says, carefully pulling back, when Fernando doesn't make a move, staying with his arms around Sergio for a few minutes. 

"You're a little weird today," Sergio comments. 

Fernando just shrugs smiling and lies down again, putting his head in Sergio's lap. He thinks briefly that he shouldn't do this, that he should ask Sergio to go, but all those thoughts leave his mind, when Sergio starts lightly massaging his temples. 

Today he did something he'd never done before. He showed someone his work and it was appreciated. Maybe after all he's not as useless as he thinks. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"What's this?" Sergio said, taking a piece of paper from Fernando's desk._

_"Nothing. Give it to me," Fernando muttered and snatched it away._

_"But I want to see that," Sergio looked at him, "It was a picture."_

_"Yeah, it was a picture. There is nothing to see," Fernando said and put the paper in the drawer, "Let's go out and play football."_

_"No, I want to see that," Sergio insisted, "Show it to me."_

_"I said no," Fernando snapped._

_Sergio's lower lip started to tremble. "You said I'm your friend," he whispered._

_"Yeah, but-but..."_

_"If you don't show it to me, you're not my friend."_

_Fernando pouted. "Then I don't want to be your friend," he said, "I have other friends. A lot of friends. And you don't have any."_

_"That's not true," Sergio shrieked, already on the verge of tears, "I have many friends where I lived before. More than you will ever have."_

_"But here you don't have any," Fernando sing-songed and stuck his tongue out._

_Sergio stood huffing for a few moments and then running forward, shoved Fernando with all his might and turning on his heels, ran out of the door._

_"Go where you want, loser. I don’t even want to be your friend," Fernando cried after him, then sat on the floor, hugging his knees and trying very hard not to cry._

_"Fernando?" he heard his mother's voice._

_"Yes, mum."_

_"I saw Sergio running out in tears. Did you have a fight?"_

_"He's a stupid loser," Fernando sniffled._

_"Fernando!"_

_"He is," Fernando said stubbornly._

_Mrs. Torres wiped the tears away from his cheeks. "Don't be angry," he said gently, "He's younger than you. You should forgive him, if he did something that offended you."_

_Fernando looked at his mother. "What if-what if I offended him?" he asked quietly._

_"Then you should apologize to him."_

_"No," Fernando scoffed._

_"Nandito, friendship is very important," Mrs. Torres said softly, "You shouldn't lose a friend for stupid things. Go and apologize. You're his only friend here, don't forget it."_

_"It's him who forgets that," Fernando muttered._

_Mrs. Torres shook her head. "Go to him, Nando."_

_Fernando sighed. "Okay, mum."_

_When his mother left, he remained on the floor for a few moments, then took the piece of paper from the drawer and went out._

_"Hello, Mrs. Ramos," he said, when Sergio's mother opened the door, "Is Sergio home?"_

_"He's in his room," Mrs. Ramos said, "Did you guys have a fight? He looked very upset, but he won't tell me what happened."_

_Fernando shifted uncomfortably. "Can I see him?" he asked._

_Mrs. Ramos smiled. "Yeah, of course. You know where his room is."_

_Fernando knocked at the door and when received no answer, pushed it open. Sergio was sitting curled up on his bed, looking out of the window, but his head turned to Fernando, when he entered. "Go," he cried, "Why did you come?"_

_"I-I, sorry, Sergi, I want to be your friend," Fernando stammered._

_Sergio didn't look impressed._

_"I brought you the picture," Fernando said quietly._

_"I don't want to see it anymore," Sergio pursed his lips._

_Fernando cautiously went forward and put the paper next to Sergio. "Here."_

_The younger boy didn't look at it for a few seconds and when he took it, Fernando thought for a moment that he's going to rip it apart, but Sergio glanced at the paper and smiled._

_"Did you draw it?" he asked._

_Fernando nodded._

_"I like it," Sergio said and Fernando's heart leapt with joy._

_"I have other drawings," he said, encouraged by Sergio's approval, "If you want, I can show them to you."_

_Sergio nodded._

_"Are we still friends?" Fernando asked tentatively._

_Sergio looked at him for a second and then grinned. "Best friends."_


	9. Chapter 9

Sergio has already visited today and it's still too soon for Iker to be back, so Fernando doesn't know who's ringing the doorbell. He's not sure if he should open it, but he can at least see who it is. He looks out from the peephole and smiles. He's still not sure if he can open it, but does anyway.

"Xabi," he says happily.

Xabi looks at him for a moment sadly, then pulls him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry," he whispers into his ear.

"Why?" Fernando asks confused.

Xabi pulls back and looks at him again. "For letting him do this to you," he says.

Fernando fidgets nervously and bites his lip. "I-I'm fine. Really, Xabi. You don't need to..."

"Nando," Xabi raises his hand, "Let's go inside and talk, okay?"

Fernando nods.

"Do you want coffee or something?" he asks when they go to the living room.

"I just want to talk. Please, sit?" Xabi says.

Fernando sits down reluctantly. He doesn't like at all where this is going.

"Iker isn't going to be home soon, right?" Xabi asks.

"No."

Xabi takes a deep breath. "I didn't believe it at first when Sergio told me," he starts, looking at his hands.

For some reason Fernando is hurt that Sergio has told someone something about him, but lets Xabi continue.

"No one believed," the Basque says, "Maybe we didn't want to. Maybe it was just too hard to believe that Iker could be like that."

"Look, Xabi, I don't know what Sergio told you, but Iker is not like that. I'm fine," Fernando says.

"Sergio warned you would say that," Xabi smiles.

"Xabi..."

"Nando, listen to me. This is not normal. Do you understand me? This is bad. Very bad. This is not healthy. You should stop this."

Fernando doesn't like it that Xabi is talking to him like he's dumb or three years old, so he scoffs and mumbles, "Iker loves me."

"Please," Xabi snorts, "Don't give me that bullshit. How can..." He makes a vague gesture with his hand. "How can _this_ be called love. Have you seen yourself? I love Nagore, but I have never, ever thought about laying even a finger on her."

"That's because she... she's perfect," Fernando finishes in whisper.

"No one is perfect, Nando," Xabi says tiredly.

Fernando glances at him and then down again. "What do you want, Xabi?" he whispers and then flinches, because it sounded too rude and he doesn't want to offend Xabi.

But Xabi doesn't seem offended. "I want to help you," he says. Fernando's head jolts up to him and Xabi smiles. "I'm sorry. We're all are. We should have been there for you. We shouldn't have let this happen. No, don't say it's not our fault. It is. But I want you to think about this, Nando, and I want you to remember that we're always ready to help. Whatever you need, you just tell us. If you decide to leave Iker, and that's what you should do, Nando, you shouldn't be afraid, he can't do anything to you, he won't. So if you leave him, you can always count on us. If you want, we can even throw him to jail. I'm a good lawyer and I'm at your service. If you need anything to go on with your life - a job, a place to live, money, whatever - you just tell us. Okay, Nando? Please, promise me you'll think about it. Will you do it for me?"

Fernando's throat constricts and he manages only a weak nod. Xabi smiles to him. Then he suddenly gets up and embraces Fernando. The younger man's arms slip around his back and he takes a few deep breaths to prevent the tears from falling.

"Shh, it's okay, niño," Xabi whispers as Fernando shakes in his arms.

When he calms down a little, Xabi helps him sit on the couch and sits down next to him. "Feel better now, Nando?" he asks.

Fernando nods.

"The guys wanted to come too," Xabi says, "But in the end we decided to send one representative. They chose me." He laughs.

"I miss you, guys," Fernando says quietly.

"We miss you too," Xabi says, "David wanted to come with me, but he's ashamed. He feels bad because he introduced you to Iker and encouraged you to date him."

"He shouldn't," Fernando says.

"Yeah, well... Sergio feels bad too."

"Why?" Fernando asks surprised.

"Because, well, because remember there was a point, when we started to meet less and less? Sergio... he thought it was a good thing for him," Xabi says, "He thought he would forget you if he didn't see you, so that's why he didn't come looking for you, didn't even ask your family about you when you and Iker disappeared. To tell the truth it happened slowly, we didn't even notice, until one day we understood that we haven't seen you for months, but neither of you answered when we called, and you've moved out from your apartment."

"There is no one to blame," Fernando says.

"No, there is," Xabi objects, "There is. Iker."

"Xabi," Fernando pleads.

"Okay," Xabi says, standing up, "I won't talk about it again. But promise me you will think about what I told you, Nando. You're not alone in this."

"I will," Fernando says.

He says it just so Xabi will leave him alone, but when he closes the door after his friend, he starts thinking. What if he listens to Xabi? What if he just ends this? What if he leaves Iker?

He starts trembling just from that thought and shakes his head, deciding instead to go and occupy himself with his pencils and notebook, but he can't forbid his mind to return occasionally to Xabi's words.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _Fernando's phone buzzed. New text message._ "Waiting for you."

 _He hadn't had the time to smile at this, when Sergio sent another text._ "Naked."

_Fernando snorted. Well, the party was boring and he hadn't wanted to come anyway, so he could as well sneak off to Sergio's. He got up, trying to leave unnoticed, because David and Patricia wouldn't let him go so early, but had no such luck._

_"Hey, Nando," David cried from behind, "Where are you going?"_

_Fernando groaned. "Nowhere. Just walking around," he smiled, turning back._

_"Well, walk around here," David called, "I want to introduce you to someone."_

_Fernando walked to him reluctantly. Since he and David had been living in the same apartment, the older man assumed the task of helping Fernando socialize and started introducing him to all of his friends. Well, Xabi and Nagore were great, but David, like Pepe, seemed to know every student in the university and Fernando didn't really want to..._

_"This is Iker," David said and Fernando forgot what he wanted._

_Iker was handsome, hot, attractive and Fernando's ideal of perfection. He stared dumbly at him for a few seconds until David rolled his eyes and said, "Iker, this is Fernando, my roommate."_

_"Nice to meet you, Fernando," Iker said smiling._

_"N-nice to meet you too," Fernando said a few seconds later._

_"Okay, guys, it was nice, but I gotta go now," Iker said, "See you later."_

_When he left, Fernando slumped down on a chair, heaving a sigh._

_"I knew you would like him," Patricia laughed._

_"Like him? He's perfection," Fernando said._

_"Then go and get him," David said._

_Fernando snorted. "You're starting to talk like Pati."_

_"But he's right," Patricia said, "You liked him. You should do everything to get him."_

_"He's way out of my league," Fernando sighed._

_Patricia laughed. "Nando, with that face and that ass no one is out of your league."_

_"Thanks," Fernando smiled, "It's not true, but..."_

_"It's so very true," Patricia cried, "Even David thinks that you have a nice ass."_

_Fernando's head turned abruptly to David._

_"That's not true! Not true!" David shouted, "Pati, why did you have to bring it up?"_

_"I tried to lift Nando's spirits," Patricia shrugged._

_"At the expense of mine?"_

_"Sorry, love."_

_"Now he'll try to hit on me. Is that what you wanted?"_

_"Let him try. I'll gouge his pretty eyes out."_

_"I'm right here," Fernando said, interrupting their bickering, "And I'm not going to hit on David, Pati, leave my eyes alone."_

__

~~~

_"Nando, did you really like Iker?" David asked later, when Fernando had postponed his meeting with Sergio and they were finally at home._

_Fernando blushed. "Well, yeah, he was very good-looking. Is he a nice guy?"_

_David nodded. "Really nice. He may seem a little creepy at first, but he's not."_

_"No, he didn't seem creepy."_

_"Well, then even better. I'll try to organize your meeting." David winked._

_"Thanks."_

_They remained silent for a few minutes, then Fernando said, "David."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Can I ask you something?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Do you really think I have a nice ass?"_

_"Fuck you, Torres."_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando is sitting in Sergio's kitchen, watching him make lunch. He's not tense anymore, having been here a few times. They always make something to eat together or watch a movie or just talk. Sometimes Fernando draws and Sergio watches him. Once he offered to call Fernando's sister, but the older man was afraid to talk to her. Why would she even want to talk after all this time? Besides she lives in Cadiz now and Fernando doesn't know her number. The idea of visiting his parents was met with horror too. Fernando doesn't want them to see him, because they'll surely think something's wrong and worry and make him talk. Or worse, they won't talk to him, because most likely they hate him for arguing with Isra and Mari.

Sergio never makes him do anything if he doesn't want it. He always takes him back in time, even if every time asks him to stay with him or if not with him, then just leave Iker. Fernando always refuses. He doesn't know how he will be able to live without Iker. He can't leave him even if he tries, because Iker will surely kill him. And Sergio. He said he would kill Sergio and Fernando believes him. He will never risk Sergio's life.

It's already late and Fernando looks at Sergio, trying to ask him with his eyes to take him home. He doesn't like how Sergio always gets upset when he has to go. He remembers that his friend has asked him to say everything he needs by words, not by looks or nods and shaking head. Fernando knows that, but Iker doesn't like it when he talks too much and he's used to making as little noise as possible.

Thankfully this time Sergio understands him and asks sadly, "Is it already time to go?"

Fernando nods and then says, "Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's time."

Sergio sighs. "You don't want to stay here, do you?"

"You are on air in the evening," Fernando says, "You have to go to work."

"Fernando, you know what I'm talking about," Sergio says.

"Sergi, I have to go," Fernando whispers.

"Why? Give me one reason."

Fernando doesn't say anything, looking away.

"Just don't tell me that you love him," Sergio says angrily, "You don't need him, Nando. You deserve so much better. You are young, beautiful, talented. Why do you want to spend your life in prison?"

"I can't live without Iker," Fernando mumbles.

Sergio smashes his fist on the table and Fernando jumps up, looking at him frightened.

"Don't look at me with those eyes," Sergio shouts and Fernando promptly averts his gaze, "Look what he's done to you! You don't love him, Nando, you are scared of him. How can you let him treat you like this? Don't you have a shred of dignity left? You jump at every little noise. You're scared to do anything without his permission. You don't seem a human anymore. You run after him like a dog..."

Sergio stops shouting, when he notices that Fernando has closed his face with his hands and is trembling slightly.

"Oh shit," he hisses and crouches in front of Fernando's chair. "I'm sorry, Nando, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Forgive me, Nando, okay? Please, I didn't want to say that. Don't be mad at me, okay?"

Fernando nods, but doesn't look at him, and Sergio pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around him. "I just want you to be happy, Nando," he says, sighing relieved when Fernando hugs him too, "I don't want to see you hurt. But you are hurting and it's making me mad."

Fernando jerks in his arms and Sergio kicks himself mentally. "No, I'm not mad at you, I can never be mad at you," he says and feels how Fernando relaxes a little, "You're not to blame. I shouldn't have shouted at you, I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?"

From the way Fernando's chin touches his shoulder Sergio understands that it's a nod and takes a deep breath. "Can I look at you now?" he pleads.

Fernando's hands clutch at his shirt and then let go of him and he pulls back. There are still tears on his cheeks and Sergio wipes them away gently. "Sorry," he says again.

Fernando nods and tries to smile. "You're not mad at me?" he whispers.

"No, of course I'm not," Sergio assures him, "Let's go now, okay? I'll take you back."

"Okay."

"Nando, but just know that you can leave whenever you want. You'll always have a place here," Sergio says.

"Thank you."

"Don't just say thank you and forget about it," Sergio says, struggling to keep his voice calm, "Think. You don't need that, Nando. Don't you want to see your family again? Don't you want to work again? Don't you want to be free again?"

"I can't," Fernando whispers.

"I'll help you. I promise I'll help you," Sergio says, "I'll be there for you. Not only me. Xabi told me he'd talked to you. We all want to help you." He pauses and looks into Fernando's eyes. "You know I love you, Nando. I'd do anything for you."

Fernando is able to only nod, then suddenly hugs Sergio tightly. "Iker will kill you," he voices his fears.

Sergio wants to snort, but the genuine horror in Fernando's voice doesn't let him. He takes a deep breath, vowing to make the bastard pay for reducing Fernando into this and says calmly. "Don't worry, Nando, he can't do anything, I promise. He won't do anything to me."

Fernando sighs. Sergio doesn't know Iker. Doesn't know what he's capable of. "It's late," he says apologetically.

Sergio gets up reluctantly. "Let's go," he says.

When Fernando wants to get out of the car, Sergio takes his hand. "Promise to think about what I told you," he asks.

For a second Fernando wants to close the car door and tell Sergio to take him away, but then he comes to his senses and nods. "I promise."

He opens the door with his key and gets inside. There is still an hour or so until Iker comes home and Fernando can make something to eat. But first he has to go upstairs to hide his key. Iker doesn't know he's got that. Probably thinks it's lost somewhere.

Fernando goes to the living room and stops dead in his tracks. There is someone sitting on the armchair. Hearing Fernando's gasp, the man stands up and turns to him. It's Iker.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Maria brought the coffee and sat in front of Fernando. "So?" she smiled to her brother, "Tell me the news."_

_"What news?" Fernando looked at him with innocent eyes._

_"Oh, stop it, Fer," Maria laughed, "Why did you come to visit me if you don't have news?"_

_"Maybe I just missed you," Fernando said offended._

_"Okay, I'm kidding," Maria said, "Will you tell me now?"_

_Fernando sat pursing his lips for a few seconds, then broke into a smile. "I'm seeing someone," he said._

_"Really?" Maria shrieked, "Aww, my baby brother is all grown up now. I didn't think I would live to see this day. Who is he? Tell me, tell me. Do I know him? Is he cute? Talk already, Fer."_

_"If you let me talk, I will," Fernando rolled his eyes._

_"Okay, sorry, tell me now."_

_"He's great, Mari," Fernando sighed happily, "I love him so much and I think he does too. I'm so happy."_

_"How long have you been together?"_

_"A few months. But I've been in love with him like forever."_

_"Wait, wait. Do I know him?"_

_"You've met him."_

_"Don't tease, Fer. Tell me who he is."_

_Fernando grinned. "Iker."_

_"Iker? The creepy..."_

_"He's not creepy," Fernando cried, "Stop calling him creepy. It's just the first impression."_

_"Sorry," Maria laughed, "So tell me. Is it serious?"_

_"I think I've been waiting for him my whole life," Fernando said dreamily._

_Maria smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Fer. I hope he's good enough for you."_

_"Of course he is," Fernando exclaimed, "I'm afraid I'm not good enough for him."_

_"Oh my god, you're really in love," Maria said shaking his head._

_"Yeah," Fernando sighed._

_They silently drank their coffee, then Maria asked suddenly, "Fer, what about Sergio?"_

_"What about Sergio?"_

_"I thought there was something between you."_

_"We're just friends, Mari."_

_Maria snorted. "Best friends who sleep with each other?"_

_"What?" Fernando spluttered and blushed furiously._

_"You really thought no one knew?" Maria laughed._

_"Well, yeah."_

_"Oh, Fer. So what about Sergio?"_

_"There is nothing between us, just-just, you know, sex. I mean there was. Not anymore. It's not like I'm in love with him or something. I love Iker."_

_"But you used to be in love with Sergio once, Fer."_

_Fernando went even redder. "How do you know?"_

_"You were obvious," Maria laughed, "I think you've been in love with him since childhood."_

_"Well, maybe you're right," Fernando mumbled, "But it was long ago. I was a kid."_

_"You're still a kid."_

_"Mari!" Fernando cried, "Only because you're a few years older than me, doesn't mean I'm a kid."_

_"You'll always be my little brother for me, Fer," Maria said._

_Fernando just rolled his eyes._

_"Anyway, tell that Iker to treat you well or he'll have to deal with me," Maria said._

_"He treats me well," Fernando said, "He loves me."_

_"If he ever dares to hurt you, just tell me," Maria said seriously._

_Fernando laughed. "Why would I tell you? I can stand for myself. I'm not a kid."_

_"I know, baby."_

_"Stop it!"_

_"Sorry."_

_"Better bring me something to eat."_

_"In a second, niño."_

_"I hate you."_


	10. Chapter 10

"Hello, darling," Iker purrs, circling Fernando like a predator, "Glad you're back. How's Sergio?" 

Fernando doesn't dare say anything, doesn't dare move, doesn't dare breathe. 

"Give me the key," Iker says light-heartedly. 

Fernando silently hands him his key. Iker smiles and ruffles his hair. Fernando flinches. 

"So," Iker says, "I'm listening. You have thirty seconds to explain yourself." 

"I-I didn't d-do anything bad," Fernando croaks, then sighs and closes his eyes. What can he say? He fucked up, he has to pay. He shouldn't have done this. Shouldn't have lied to Iker. "I'm sorry," he whimpers, "Please, forg..." 

Iker's slap silences him. "You dirty whore," he snarls, "I'm tired of your apologies. You never mean them." 

"No, I..." 

"Shut up," Iker hisses into his face, grabbing his chin, "What were you thinking when you ran off with your fucking Sergio? What?" He yanks at his hair painfully and growls. "Wait here. I didn't want to do this, but you made me." 

He turns back and goes upstairs. Fernando remains where he's standing, heart beating violently. He can't even imagine what Iker is going to do. This is probably the worst thing he's done during these years. How could he be so stupid? He knew he was going to get into trouble, knew he wasn't doing the right thing, but he still did it. 

In a few minutes Iker comes down and when Fernando sees what he's got in his hands, his heart sinks down. "No," he whispers. 

Iker smirks. "Thought I didn't know about your little hobby?" he says, lifting up one of the notebooks with disgust, "I did, I just decided to close my eyes at that, because I loved you so much, because I wanted you to be happy. But what did you do? You spat into my heart, Fernando. And you're going to pay for that." 

He opens the notebook and tears two pages. 

"No," Fernando cries, "Please, Iker, just not that, please. Do whatever you want, but not that." 

"You don't want me to tear your stupid scribbles to pieces?" 

Fernando shakes his head frantically. "Please." 

"But you don't ask me nicely enough, baby." 

Fernando just stares at him pleadingly. 

"Or maybe you want me to make your little Sergio suffer?" 

"No, don't touch Sergio," Fernando pleads. 

"Oh, I will," Iker smirks, "I'm going to kill him for trying to steal you from me. But I'll make him suffer first and make you watch." 

Fernando breathes in sharply, then falls to his knees. Tears are threatening to fall down. 

"Please, don't do it," he whispers, "Please, don't hurt Sergio." 

Iker comes up to him slowly and stands in front of him. Fernando looks down, his lips are moving silently, begging Iker to take pity on him and on Sergio. The older man smirks. 

"Okay, I won't kill your little friend for a while and won't tear these to pieces," he says and Fernando looks up gratefully, "Besides it will take so much time... I'll just burn them." 

He shoves Fernando away and moves to the fireplace. The younger man jumps to his feet and pulls him back by the hand. 

"No," he says and there is a note of determination in his voice. 

Iker freezes, taken aback for a second, then shakes his hand away. 

"Don't do it," Fernando says, grabbing one of the notebooks. 

Iker's eyes burn with anger and Fernando recoils. Iker throws the notebooks aside and slaps Fernando hard. 

"Looks like you've forgotten your place," he hisses, punching him in the stomach. 

Fernando grunts, doubling over. Iker yanks at his hair and knees him in the chest. Then shoves him down, sending his foot to his ribs. Fernando starts coughing, trying to get up, but after Iker's kick falls down on his hands and knees. Iker puts his foot on his back, pressing him down until he's lying flat on his stomach. He smirks and goes after the notebooks. 

"No," Fernando rasps out, clutching at Iker's leg. 

Iker stumbles and tries to shake his leg free, but Fernando just clutches at it harder. Iker kicks him with his other foot, but Fernando doesn't let him go. He uses Iker's leg as a leverage to crawl up to his knees. "Please," he begs, "I'll do whatever you want." 

"You'll do whatever I want regardless of what I do," Iker snarls and kicks Fernando with his free leg. 

Fernando cries out, but doesn't let him go. "Please, Iker, please," he murmurs over and over again, pressing his face to his knee. 

Iker takes him by the hair and pulls back violently until Fernando has to let him go if he doesn't want his neck to break. He falls down on his back and immediately curls up on himself, covering his head with his hands to protect himself a little from Iker's blows. 

"Fucking bitch," Iker cries, kicking him, "When did you get so bold? Was it your fucking Sergio who told you it's okay to talk to me like this? Yeah? Was it him?" 

With every shout he delivers a mightier blew to Fernando's battered body. After a few moments he finally calms down and goes to gather the notebooks, leaving Fernando whimpering on the floor. He approaches the fireplace and makes a fire, humming something under his breath. Then he comes back to Fernando and plunges his fingers into his hair, dragging him to the fireplace. Fernando sits in the corner, hissing in pain and pressing his palms to his eyes to prevent the tears from falling. 

Iker takes one of the notebooks. "Watch," he spits out. 

Fernando chokes back a sob and shakes his head. 

"Open your eyes," Iker shouts, kicking him in the chest. 

Fernando falls on the ground and curls up, this time unable to hold back the sob. "Please, stop," he begs. 

But Iker doesn't even think of stopping. He raises his foot and aims for Fernando's weak knee. Fernando howls in excruciating pain. Iker's hand is in his hair again. He pulls him up and shoves him into the corner. 

"Watch here," he growls. 

Fernando doesn't dare disobey this time. He opens his eyes and watches how the flames lick up hungrily his work of years page after page. Even if one of the reasons he quit his job was to have more time to draw, Fernando never thought he's doing something important, never considered his drawings really good, but now he feels like his soul is burning with the notebooks. Even the agonizing pain in his knee and his whole body can't match the pain and despair in his heart. 

"Stop sobbing," Iker snarls. 

Fernando can't. He wants to, he really does. The sobs are tearing his chest apart making it hurt more. But he can't stop. 

"I said fucking stop it, slut, " Iker shouts, slapping him. 

Fernando clasps his hand on his mouth, teeth sinking in flesh. With the other hand he wipes his eyes quickly and then again, when they immediately refill with tears. The sound of the burning pages sounds like gunshot to him. 

By the time the last drawing has turned to ash Fernando isn't crying anymore. He's sitting in the corner Iker has thrown him at, looking blankly at the fireplace. 

"Get up," Iker's voice sounds. 

Fernando crawls up the wall slowly, crying out, when the pain shots through his knee. 

"Go to the bedroom and lie on the bed," Iker orders. 

Fernando's legs shake. Stairs... He has to climb the stairs. How? He should crawl probably. It will take forever to reach the bedroom. God, what Iker is going to do in the bedroom? Maybe he'll take out the whip. Fernando almost faints just from the thought. He's moving, leaning on the wall, every part of his body in pain, his legs threatening to give up. 

"Wait," Iker barks. 

Fernando stops. Iker pulls him back roughly by the hair, shoves him forward and Fernando's forehead connects painfully with the wall. He feels nauseous, dizzy, he just wants to slide down the wall and die, but Iker's strong hold has pinned him to the wall. 

Iker's hand reaches his belt. "I'll fuck you right here," he growls into his ear. 

Fernando barely understands him. It's all the same for him. Here, there, what's the difference? 

He doesn't even notice when Iker starts slamming into him without warning, doesn't feel his tears burning his cheeks, doesn't hear his own voice crying out, begging for mercy. All his feels is pain. Agonizing, searing pain, which makes him scratch the wall, which makes him pray for death. 

Fernando welcomes the darkness with relief. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Well, here we are," Iker said, putting the bag down._

_"Still can't believe it," Fernando smiled, throwing his bag over the one Iker had put in the corner._

_"But it's true," Iker kissed him above the ear, "We'll be living together now."_

_Fernando brought his lips to Iker's. "I'm happy," he said, "Are you?"_

_"Of course, baby," Iker said, "We are together in our house. What else can I want?"_

_"So you still haven't regretted inviting me to live together?" Fernando laughed._

_"Why would I?" Iker murmured, kissing him._

_Not breaking the kiss, they reached the couch and fell on it. Fernando's hands were caressing Iker's chest under his shirt, drawing out sweet moans from him. Iker pulled Fernando to him with one brisk movement and the younger man gasped. Their lips met again and they both shuddered from the intensity of the kiss. The shirts were already discarded and they were going for each other's belts when the doorbell rang._

_"Damn," Fernando muttered, grabbing his shirt._

_"Let's not open the door," Iker whined, dragging Fernando back over himself._

_The younger man smiled and pressed his lips to Iker's, but the persistent knocking made him groan. "Looks like we have to open it," he said, "I will. Want to feel what it means to live here."_

_"Surprise," he heard a unanimous shriek, when he opened the door._

_"What are you doing here?" he smiled at his friends._

_"Well, hello to you too," Pepe said, "We've come to help you unpack, you ungrateful bastard."_

_"And to make sure you feel good here," Xabi said._

_"I feel wonderful," Fernando beamed._

_"Yeah, it's obvious," Patricia snickered, "Seems like we're not in time."_

_"No, come in," Fernando blushed._

_"Who's there, baby?" Iker called._

_"It's your dear friends, asshole," Pepe shouted, "Come and greet them."_

_They all entered laughing and Iker met them with a reluctant smile._

_"Seems like we really interrupted... something," David snorted._

_"Guys, we're sorry, we can go, if you want," Nagore smiled._

_"No, sit down," Fernando insisted, "Iker, do we have something to drink?"_

_"I'll make coffee," Iker said and went to the kitchen._

_"Sergio didn't want to come, yeah?" Fernando asked quietly when they all sat down at the living room._

_The guys looked at each other. "He... he was busy," Pepe said._

_Fernando smirked bitterly. "You all knew, didn't you?"_

_"Look, Nando, it was kind of obvious," David said._

_"For everyone but you," Patricia added._

_"He doesn't want to see me, right?" Fernando said._

_"Nando, it's just hard for him, you have to understand," Nagore said._

_"Yeah, I-I understand."_

_"I'm sure he'll get over this and come to see you soon," Xabi said._

_"Yeah, I know," Fernando smiled._

_Iker brought the coffee and the conversation went on idly with no real participation from Iker. It wasn't long before their friends said goodbye and left._

_"Finally we're alone," Iker said, closing the door after them._

_Fernando smiled. "You almost kicked them out," he reprimanded his boyfriend, "It wasn't nice."_

_"Hey, I didn't do anything," Iker complained, "I love them, but they have to understand that from now on we'll need more time alone."_

_"Mmm, I think I can spend my whole life just with you," Fernando said, "I love you."_

_"I love you too, baby," Iker said and kissed him gently._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slipping in and out of consciousness, Fernando doesn't know where he is or what has happened. As soon as he opens his eyes, he feels awful pain shake his whole body and wishes he can go back to darkness. 

He feels a gentle hand brush across his cheek and opens his eyes slowly. Iker is smiling from above and Fernando wants to smile back, but his muscles don't obey him. He tries to move and cries out in pain. 

"Oh, baby," Iker whispers, "See what you've done? You made me do this. I didn't want to." 

Fernando opens his mouth to apologize, but Iker puts his finger on his lips. "Shh, any word you say now will just make me madder." 

Fernando shakes his head and cries out again. Iker doesn't seem to pay attention to it as his hands slide down to the younger man's throat. 

"I want to kill you whenever I remember you lied to me because of that scum," he growls, suddenly crushing Fernando's windpipe. 

Fernando tries to jerk away and almost passes out from the pain. He wants to shout, but he can't. He's choking and can't do anything. He can't even raise his hands to try to push Iker back. He's not sure he wants to. His vision is getting blurry and he tries to relax, waiting gladly for unconsciousness and, if he's lucky, death. He closes his eyes. 

He isn't lucky. He doesn't know how much time has passed, but at least now he's aware of his surroundings. He's lying on the bed in the master bedroom and Iker is lying next to him. The pain has lessened somehow, but he still feels like his whole body has been broken to pieces with axe. 

"You're awake, baby?" Iker says, turning to him with a smile, "You slept the whole evening and night. It's already Friday morning. I've taken a day off to stay with you. See how much I love you?" 

Fernando tries to smile, but it turns into a wince accompanied by a whimper, when he moves his leg a little. His knee is killing him. 

"What is it, baby? Where does it hurt?" Iker asks, sounding concerned. 

"Everywhere," Fernando rasps out. 

Iker gently caresses his face. "I know, honey. Where does it hurt most of all?" 

"Knee," Fernando breathes. 

Iker nods. "I've bought the ointment the doctor prescribed last time. I'll bring it now, okay?" 

He rummages in the drawers and finally finds it. He applies it carefully to Fernando's knee and covers him. 

"Better now?" He asks, lying next to him again. 

Fernando nods. Iker smiles and stretches his hand under Fernando's neck, turning him on his side so that they are facing each other. Fernando whimpers in pain and Iker kisses him slowly and gently, then pulls him closer, letting the younger man rest his forehead on his chest. Fernando breathes in Iker's scent, melts into his kiss. His whole body is aching, but these moments of intimacy are so rare, that he tries to enjoy each one of them. 

Iker puts a kiss on his hair, stroking his back. Fernando presses his lips to his chest. "Why aren't you always like this?" he murmurs. 

"Oh baby," Iker laughs quietly, "Because _you_ aren't always like this. If you behaved, nothing would have happened. You know that, right? Be a good boy and don't make me mad. Then I'll always be like this. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes," Fernando whispers. 

"Do you promise to be a good boy?" 

"I do. I'll be good. I promise." 

Iker pats his cheek. "That's good, baby. Now what do you want me to do to reward you? Do you want me to buy you new notebooks?" 

Fernando's throat tightens. "N-no," he whispers, blinking rapidly. 

"Good boy," Iker says, wiping away the lone tear that has escaped from his eyes, "You don't need those stupid things, right?" 

"Y-yes." 

Iker pulls him closer and Fernando bites his lip not to hiss from pain. 

"When you get better, we'll start from a new page," Iker whispers into his ear, "We'll forget this. You'll forget him. There will be only the two of us. No one else. I'll come home from work and you'll meet me and we'll spend the evening and night together, away from everything else. That's what we always dreamed about, right?" 

Fernando isn't sure that this is what he always dreamed about, but Iker is nuzzling up his neck and he needs it so much, needs his warmth, needs his love, needs him, that he can't care less about his own dreams as long as he's got Iker. Maybe they'll manage to make it work as he says. Maybe if Fernando really behaves, if he doesn't fuck up everything as he always does, they can be happy. And there will be no pain, no fear, no tears, only love. 

Fernando clutches at Iker as tightly as he can and buries his face in his neck. "Yeah, right," he whispers. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando smiled when he felt a kiss on his shoulder. He didn't move, enjoying Iker's gentle kisses and caresses._

_"I know you're awake," Iker whispered._

_Fernando turned to him with a smile and pecked him on the lips. "How did you know?" he asked._

_"I heard your brain buzzing right under my ear," Iker laughed, "What were you thinking about?"_

_"Nothing," Fernando muttered._

_"C'mon, baby, tell me," Iker whined, "Didn't we decide to tell each other all our secrets? What were you thinking about?"_

_"Well, just about... future."_

_"Future?"_

_"Yeah, like where we will be in a few years, what we will do, you know..."_

_"And what was the conclusion?"_

_"What conclusion?"_

_"Baby, I know that you're a quick thinker. I'm sure you already have everything planned."_

_Fernando blushed. "Well, maybe, but there is only one thing I'm certain of. We'll always love each other."_

_"That's for sure," Iker said, "What about everything else?"_

_"Well, we'll have a nice apartment," Fernando drawled, "We'll invite all our friends every week. I'll be the creative department head and you'll be the financial director of a great company. Then I'll take a break from work and start drawing my comic book, which will be a great success. We'll order Chinese once a week and go travelling on vacation. We'll argue about which movie to watch and whether or not I should drink Coca-Cola."_

_"That's what you're dreaming about?" Iker asked._

_Fernando smiled shyly. "Yeah. Aren't you dreaming about that too?"_

_"I dream about you in my life. Always."_

_"You don't have to dream about it, I'll always be with you," Fernando said._

_"Really?" Iker cocked his eyebrow._

_"Of course, you're the best thing ever happened to me."_

_"What about your job?"_

_Fernando snorted. "Stop fishing for compliments. You know that I consider you the greatest achievement in my life."_

_"Oh, I'm so flattered," Iker teased, "What about Sergio?"_

_"He's my best friend," Fernando shrugged._

_"You used to love him."_

_"Oh God, Iker, please, we've talked about it. It's long forgotten. I love you. I'm happy with you. Don't tell me that you're jealous."_

_"I'm not jealous, just wanted to make sure you haven't forgotten you belong to me."_

_"You sound really creepy when you say such things," Fernando laughed, "But no, I haven't forgotten."_

_"Good," Iker said, "Now I can sleep peacefully."_

_"Sleep?" Fernando smirked, "I don't think so."_

_He pulled Iker to him and kissed him passionately. Iker blinked. "Yeah, definitely not sleeping now."_

_"Told you so," Fernando said and kissed him again._


	11. Chapter 11

Iker is caressing his hair and Fernando is almost drifting off when the doorbell rings. Iker sits up abruptly and Fernando's eyes snap open. 

"Hmm, who that might be?" Iker says with mock interest, "Can that be our beloved Sergio? What do you think, baby?" 

"I don't know," Fernando whispers. 

"I think it's him," Iker says calmly and lies back next to Fernando, "Well, in that case we just won't open the door." 

Fernando lets out a relieved breath and thanks the heavens, because Iker doesn't seem angry. But the knocking and ringing continues and soon he hears Sergio's voice. 

"Nando, it's me. Open the door." 

"Oh, looks like he's an often guest here," Iker says. 

Fernando doesn't say anything, praying that Sergio will leave soon. But his friend doesn't even think of leaving, knocking and shouting his name. 

"It's getting annoying, don't you think?" Iker says. 

He sounds strangely calm and it frightens Fernando more. Finally Sergio falls silent and Fernando starts breathing. But not for long, because seconds after the phone rings. 

Iker laughs, getting up. "Here," he hands the phone to Fernando, "Put it on loudspeaker. Convince him to leave." 

Fernando takes it with shaking hands. 

"And remember," Iker says, "If he doesn't go, I'll let him in and he will never get out again. You know what I mean, right?" 

Fernando's eyes widen, but he nods and presses the talk button. "Hello?" 

"Nando? Open the door. I'm outside," Sergio says. 

"No," Fernando whispers. 

"What? What do you mean no? Nando?" 

"Sergio, leave." 

"What? Why? Nando, what's going on?" 

"Nothing. Just leave." 

"I'm not going to leave. Open the door. We have to talk." 

"Sergio, please," Fernando says, "Please, go." 

"I said no. I know there is something wrong. Open the door." 

"Please, Sergio," Fernando's voice starts trembling, "Just leave, okay? Please." 

He looks at Iker who is nodding and smiling satisfied. 

"I don't like this, Nando," Sergio says, "If you don't open the door, I'll break it down." 

"No," Fernando cries horrified, "Don't, please, don't do it." 

"Nando, I just want to help you," Sergio says softly. 

"If you want to help me, then leave," Fernando whispers, "Go and never come back. I don't want to see you." 

"You're lying. I know that, Nando," Sergio says, "Please, open the door. I can't leave you." 

Iker's hands creep to Fernando's bruised throat and the younger man sucks in a sharp breath. 

"God, please, please, Sergio, just go," he begs, "Please, for the sake of our friendship, leave, please..." 

"Is he with you?" Sergio asks, "Answer me, Nando. Is that bastard with you?" 

Iker shakes his head. 

"No," Fernando says, "He's at work. Sergi, please..." 

"I'm coming in," Sergio interrupts, "I swear I'll break the door, if you don't open it." 

"I'll kill him," Iker mouths. 

Fernando gasps. "No, Sergio," he whispers, "If you care about me, if you really do, please, leave. Go, please, please, please... 

"No, Nando," Sergio says, "I'll never forgive myself if I just leave you again. I'm calling the police." 

Iker's hand squeezes his throat slightly and Fernando closes his eyes. "If you call the police, I'll tell them that everything is fine and that you keep bothering us," he whispers. 

He doubts that the police will believe him if they see how he looks, but Sergio doesn't see him, so he can use that card. 

"What?" Sergio chokes out, "But-but, Nando, why?" 

"Because I hate you," Fernando cries. His heart is breaking in his chest, but he can't risk it, can't put Sergio's life in danger. "I never loved you. I was lying. I just used you. Yeah, you-you had a-a... nice body. I-I don't want to see you again. Never. I hate you." 

"No, Nando, you don't..." 

"Never call me again," Fernando says, tears flowing down from his eyes when Iker repeats his threat about Sergio. "Never come back again. I don't want to see you. Stay away from us." 

"Okay," Sergio whispers brokenly and hangs up. 

Iker takes the phone from Fernando's hand and pets his head. "Such a good boy," he smirks, "It pained me to see how you humiliated yourself in front of that piece of shit, baby. I'm the only one you're allowed to beg to." 

Fernando chokes back a sob and Iker wipes the tears on his cheeks. "Now, now, don't cry, baby," he smiles, "Everything's going to be fine. We love each other. The others aren't important. Did you see how much your friend Sergio cared about you? If he really did, he wouldn't leave. He would really break down the door. I'd kill him, of course, but still he had to try, if he loved you. But he doesn't, baby, I'm the only one who loves you. You understood that he doesn't give a fuck about you, didn't you?" 

Fernando doesn't know. Sergio cares about him, he feels it, he's seen it, but Iker knows better, Iker always knows everything better, so he nods. He's shaking with sobs now and Iker pulls him to his chest. His whole body screams in protest, but he needs something to hold on, something to support him. 

"Shh," Iker says, "I'll bring you something to eat now, then you'll sleep and calm down. It's going to be fine, baby. We're going to be the happiest couple in the world." 

Fernando continues to cry silently. He drove Sergio away. He will never see him again. Suddenly Iker's promise that they will be happy doesn't seem comforting at all. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando threw the phone away and sighed in frustration._

_"Who are you calling, honey?" Iker asked._

_"Sergio," Fernando muttered, "He doesn't answer."_

_"Why do you want to call him?" Iker frowned._

_Fernando shrugged. "I want to talk to him. We haven't talked for a while."_

_"Maybe he's busy," Iker said, "He's just started his work at the radio."_

_"He always found time for me, even if he was busy," Fernando pouted, "We've been best friends since childhood."_

_"Baby, you're so naïve," Iker laughed, "You told me yourself that you were more than just friends. He's just angry that he lost it."_

_"What are you talking about, Iker?" Fernando scoffed, "Sergio's not like that. He wants me to be happy."_

_"He never liked me," Iker said, "I'm sure he hates that I'm with you."_

_"Well, not that he hates it..."_

_"Please, Nando. You were fucking and now you're not. Of course he hates it. He hates me."_

_"Okay, maybe he's not particularly fond of you, but he loves me and wants the best for me," Fernando said convinced._

_"He loves sleeping with you," Iker said._

_Fernando glared at him, but decided not to argue. "Still I think I'll visit him tomorrow. I feel kind of guilty," he said._

_"Guilty?" Iker said surprised, "Why? You think he feels bad and that's why he avoids you? He just understood that he can't get what he wants and now you don't interest him."_

_"Iker, you're really unfair to Sergio," Fernando said irritated, "He's my best friend. I know him."_

_"Okay, even if we suppose that he really feels bad," Iker said, "Do you think he wants to see you now?"_

_"I don’t care, I have to see him. I can't just wait and watch how he's suffering."_

_"Look, baby, if he, as you say, is suffering, then seeing you will make everything worse, right? If he's in love with you, it will only hurt him more."_

_"I don't know," Fernando said, "Maybe you're right, but still..."_

_"Give him some time," Iker suggested, "Leave him alone for a while and then we'll see what will happen."_

_"I'll think about it," Fernando said, "But maybe tomorrow I should visit him."_

_"Why? If he avoids you, then doesn't want to see you, right? Simple logic. Besides I had other plans for tomorrow..."_

_"Really? What plans?" Fernando smiled._

_"I wanted to spend the weekend at the sea. I already booked a room."_

_"Wow, awesome. I haven't been at the sea for so long," Fernando said brightly._

_"So, do you want to come?"_

_"Of course I do, but..."_

_"Baby, let's go and enjoy the sea for a few days and you'll have time to think about what to do about Sergio," Iker said, "The weather is going to be perfect for the weekend."_

_"Uh, but I promised David we'll visit them on Sunday."_

_"We'll visit them next Sunday. The hotel offered a special price just for this weekend."_

_"They are already complaining that they never see us," Fernando laughed._

_"Well, we can't spend our free time just with them," Iker said, "We need some time to ourselves, don't we?"_

_His lips touched Fernando's neck sensually and the younger man threw his head back and closed his eyes in pleasure. "Mmm, I think we do."_

_"We'll see the guys another day, okay?" He kissed the point between Fernando's ear and neck._

_"If you say so," Fernando moaned._

_"You trust me with this?" Iker smirked._

_"I'd trust you with my life," Fernando said and turning his head met Iker's lips._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Iker kisses him on the forehead when Fernando swallows the last drops of the soup and falls back on the pillow exhausted. 

"Did you like it?" Iker asks. 

"Yeah, thank you," Fernando tries to smile. 

"Good. See I woke up earlier just to feed you, baby," Iker says, "Now I have to run or I'll be late for work. You behave here, okay?" 

Fernando nods. 

"I'll leave fruit and sandwiches here for you, so you won't have to go down," Iker goes on, caressing Fernando's hair. 

"Thanks," Fernando whispers. 

Iker smiles. "Okay, now where is the key of this room?" 

"You-you're going to close me here?" Fernando asks terrified. 

"Yeah, baby, you didn't think I would let you roam free after you betrayed my trust, did you?" 

"I-I won't do it ever again," Fernando whispers desperately. 

"I know, but you deserve this for betraying me, right?" 

"Y-yeah," Fernando answers, looking down. 

"See? Even you realize that," Iker smiles, "You'll spend a few months here and then we'll see." 

Fernando's head jolts up. "A-a few months?" 

"Yeah, isn't it enough? Besides you're still weak, you can't move a lot. You'll stay in bed and I'll take care of you. Do you mind?" 

Fernando shakes his head. 

"Okay, then see you in the evening. I'll bring us something to eat. What was your favorite?" 

"Chinese." 

"Chinese? But Italian is much better. I'll bring Italian." 

"Okay," Fernando says. 

Iker kisses him and goes out, locking the door. Fernando sighs and curls up on himself. He spent the weekend in bed and now feels much better. He can even walk around a little, though after a few minutes his knee starts hurting badly. During these three days Iker was exceptionally gentle with him, almost never left his side, made him feel loved, and if he goes on like this, maybe Fernando can take it if he spends a few months behind a locked door. But... months? 

Fernando shakes his head to make the thoughts go away and closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep. That's the best he can do while he's waiting for Iker to come back. There are no books or even journals in this room. 

The doorbell rings suddenly and Fernando's heart immediately starts beating with a crazy pace. Who is it? It can't be Sergio, no, it can't. Sergio won't return. Not after what Fernando told him. But the ringing and knocking continues and Fernando closes his ears, trying to pretend it's not happening. Then the phone starts to ring, but fortunately it's in the living room and Fernando can't go to answer. 

Finally the noise stops and Fernando starts breathing calmer. He covers his head with the blanket and closes his eyes again. 

"Fernando," he hears under his window and jumps out of his skin. "Nando, please, open the door." 

It's Sergio. Fernando can't believe it. He came back after everything. He didn't give up. He cares. 

Fernando's eyes fill with tears and blinking them away, he doesn't even understand how he gets up and hobbles to the window. 

"Sergio," he says quietly, but Sergio listens and looks up. 

His mouth falls open and then he closes it with his hands and let out a muffled snarl. "Fuck, I knew I had to break in that day. Oh God, what has he done to you, Nando? I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't help you." 

"You don't have to be sorry," Fernando says, "It's me who has to apologize. Sergi, I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate you." 

"I know, Nando," Sergio says, rubbing his face, "God, I'm happy you're alive. I'm so happy to see you. I didn't know what to do when you told me to go. I was so worried. You sounded so weird, Fer. Sorry, please, forgive me for not helping you." 

Fernando just stares at him, trembling slightly. 

"Will you open the door now?" Sergio asks cautiously. 

"I can't," Fernando says, "I'm locked in here." 

"Damn," Sergio snarls in rage. 

Fernando jumps startled and cries out at the intense pain in his knee. He turns back to find something to hold on and suddenly catches his reflection in the mirror. At first he almost screams in horror, because he doesn't recognize the man with a haunted look in his eyes staring at him, but the freckles seem familiar and he gasps. Then he turns to the window again and looks down, where Sergio, extremely worried, demands to know what has happened. 

"Sergi," Fernando says, "Help me." 

Sergio stares at him open-mouthed and then nods slowly. "Okay, Nando, don't worry, I'll get you out of there." 

"The doors are closed," Fernando reminds him. 

"Nando, I can call the police and tell that you've been locked in," Sergio suggests. 

"No," Fernando shakes his head, "No police. Please don't call the police." 

Iker once graphically explained to him what will happen if he even thinks of going to the police. 

"Okay, don't panic, I'll think of something else," Sergio assures him, "We have to find a ladder... Oh, got it. So Pepe knows this guy..." 

They both burst out laughing at that. It was the internal joke of their group, because Pepe knew everyone. He knew a guy who illegally sold exotic monkeys, he knew a guy who could drag a car by teeth, he knew a guy who could repair any electrical device. He knew David even before Fernando and it was him who introduced them. 

"So Pepe knows this guy, who works in the fire department. I'll ask him to call him and to keep it low." 

He doesn't wait for Fernando's approval, taking out his phone. "Hi, Pepe," he says, moving away. Fernando hears only his name and 'can you believe it?'. He's still standing next to the window, though his knee hurts more and more and he feels like he'll collapse now from the emotions overwhelming him. 

Sergio comes back with a big smile on his face. "He'll be here in ten minutes," he announces. 

Fernando gasps. Sergio looks at him cautiously and for a moment Fernando thinks he's going to ask if he's sure he wants to do it. He waits for it. He wants Sergio to ask, so he could answer no, I'm not sure, it was a mistake, call that guy and tell him not to come. But Sergio doesn't ask. Instead he says, "Nando, are you okay?" 

Fernando nods, but Sergio doesn't look convinced. He frowns and says, "Pack your things, he'll be here soon." 

"I..." Fernando swallows, "No, Sergio, I-I don't..." 

"Shh," Sergio says, "It's going to be alright, Fer, it's going to be fine. Don't worry. Go take your stuff." 

Fernando takes a step back and slumps on the bed, hissing in pain. He shouldn't have done this. What was he thinking? He can't leave. Iker will kill him. No, Iker will kill Sergio and do something worse with him. He'll just stay here. He won't go anywhere. He won't take his stuff. He doesn't have stuff anyway. 

He hears commotion outside and then sees a ladder next to his window. He quickly pulls on his shirt and pants and sits up, heart beating wildly in chest, waiting for someone to enter through the window. 

"Nando," he hears Sergio's voice, "Can you come down?" 

Oh. So he's supposed to go down himself. Fat chance. 

"Nando?" Sergio calls again. 

Fernando doesn't answer. His hands are trembling. What has he gotten himself into? He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and when he opens them again, Sergio is looking at him from the window. 

Fernando gasps, then clasps his hands over his mouth. 

"Come on," Sergio says. 

Fernando shakes his head. 

Sergio climbs over the window and goes to sit next to Fernando. "Let's go," he says gently, though his voice is trembling. 

"No," Fernando whispers, "Leave. I can't." 

"Nando, look at me," Sergio says and trails his fingertips softly on Fernando's cheekbone. 

Fernando winces and looks down. 

"Oh God," Sergio breathes, "Nando, please." 

"No. S-sorry." 

Sergio takes a shuddering breath and hides his face in his hands. Fernando looks at him in surprise. The younger man is shaking, crying softly. Fernando's heart clenches. 

"Sergi, why are you crying?" he asks. 

Sergio shakes his head. "You-you've got blood on your shirt," he gasps and presses the back of his hand to his mouth, "You look, God, you look like you've been beaten by an angry mob. How can you? How can you stay here? He'll kill you, Nando, you're lucky he hasn't done it yet." 

His voice breaks and tears spill from his eyes again. Fernando hugs him quickly. "Don't cry, please, Sergi, don't cry," he begs. Sergio shouldn't cry. Sergio should always be happy. He deserves it more than anyone else. 

Sergio wipes his eyes and looks at him determined. "If you don't leave with me, I'm staying here," he says. 

Fernando's eyes go wide. "What? You-you can't. Iker will kill you." 

"Then save me. Come with me." 

"He'll still kill you." 

"You decide, Nando. Either you're coming with me, or I'm staying here." 

"Sergio, please..." 

"Guys?" they hear an impatient voice from behind. 

"Quick, make up your mind, Nando," Sergio says, "Tonio is in a hurry." 

Fernando bows his head, biting his abused lips. What should he do? He can't let Sergio stay here. Iker will kill him. 

"Let's go," he says in a shaking voice. 

Sergio jumps to his feet. "Coming," he calls, looking out of the window, then turns and looks expectantly at Fernando. 

The older man gets up slowly, wincing in pain as he limps to Sergio, whose eyes fill with tears again. But he blinks them away quickly and tries to smile. 

"You go first," he says, "Careful. Hey, Tonio, Nando's injured. Help him there." 

"No problem," Tonio answers. 

Sergio helps Fernando climb out of the window on the ladder. For a second Fernando wishes he would just fall down and die and not to have to face all this, but then he takes a deep breath and starts moving, following Tonio's instructions. In two they manage to bring him down safely and Fernando lies down on the grass, trying to calm his frantically beating heart. 

He doesn't even notice how Sergio thanks Tonio and leaves, taking his ladder. He doesn't open his eyes until Sergio touches his arm. "Let's go," he smiles. 

Fernando gets up slowly with Sergio's help. He's dizzy, he's trembling, barely standing on his feet. Now most of all he wishes to be back in the bedroom. He doesn't want this. He doesn't know what to do with this. But Sergio embraces him and all the tension as though magically disappears from his body. 

"Let's go," Sergio repeats and helps Fernando to his car. 

When Sergio starts the car, Fernando glances one last time at the house and then closes his eyes tightly, willing himself to fall asleep. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

_Fernando quietly approached the lone figure sitting on the bench and sat down next to him. "You're an idiot," he said._

_"Thank you," Sergio said, not sounding surprised that Fernando found him there, "That's the friend support I need right now."_

_"Do you realize that your parents are worried?" Fernando said, "What the hell were you thinking?"_

_"Why should they be worried?" Sergio shrugged, "I doubt they noticed my absence as they didn't notice my existence."_

_"You're being unfair, Sergio," Fernando said, "You know very well how much your parents love you."_

_"Yeah, right."_

_"Stop it, you're just angry, but it won't last forever. You'll regret you're being a pain in the ass."_

_"You're supposed to be on my side," Sergio whined._

_"I'm on your side, idiot, that's why I'm here. Let's go home."_

_"No," Sergio said stubbornly._

_Fernando rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid, Sergio, it's just a little quarrel."_

_"They took away my guitar just because they caught me smoking," Sergio cried, standing up, and then slumped down on the bench again, "It was just one time."_

_Fernando shook his head affectionately. "Oh, Sergi, you're such a kid. Come on, cry on my shoulder and let's go home."_

_"I'm not coming home," Sergio said._

_"And what are you going to do? Spend the night here?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And then?"_

_"I'll think of something," Sergio said stubbornly._

_"Let me help you think, okay?" Fernando said, "How are you going to live?"_

_"I don’t know. I'll sneak into the house tonight, take my guitar and all my stuff and run away."_

_Fernando tried very hard, but couldn't hold back his laughter. "You're crazy, Sergio."_

_"Stop laughing, dumbass, I'm serious," Sergio said indignantly._

_"Like really serious?"_

_"Yeah, I'm leaving. I'll play guitar on the streets and get money to live. Just imagine it, Nando," he said excited, "Absolutely free. No one to answer to. Smoke as much as you want. Play when you want. Do what you want."_

_He sighed dreamily and cast his head back. Fernando was overcome with an urge to touch his exposed throat with his lips, so he looked away and took a deep breath. "Do you really mean it?" he asked._

_"Of course. I tell you I'm leaving tonight," Sergio said._

_Fernando was silent for a moment and then said, "I'm coming with you."_

_Sergio laughed. "What?"_

_"I'm coming with you," Fernando shrugged, "I can't leave you alone."_

_"Yes, you can," Sergio said, "I'm not a kid."_

_"You are. You can't take care of yourself. I'm coming with you. Full point."_

_"Nando, you can't. What about school?"_

_"I'll leave school."_

_"No, you like school. You want to go to university."_

_"Well, I like you more," Fernando said._

_"Sorry, you're not my type. Too small boobs," Sergio laughed._

_Fernando forced himself to laugh with him. "But seriously, Sergio, I'm coming with you."_

_"I said no."_

_"You can't tell me what to do. I'm older."_

_"Nando..."_

_"Sergio. I'm coming with you and you can't do anything about it," Fernando said with a tone of finality._

_"But you have plans," Sergio cried, "You have a life. You can't change it because of me."_

_"Just wait and see how I'll do it," Fernando said._

_Sergio stared at him with an open mouth for a moment and Fernando just kept smiling calmly. "Okay," Sergio said, "I'm coming back. I hate you."_

_Fernando hugged him tightly. "I love you too."_

_"But I'm staying at your place tonight," Sergio warned._

_Fernando gave him a crooked smile. "You're sleeping on the couch."_


	12. Chapter 12

As much as he wishes, Fernando doesn't manage to fall asleep, jerking and twitching during the whole ride. Sergio doesn't say anything, just glances at him from time to time and smiles. Fernando wants to reciprocate the smile, but he can't, can't even imagine how to smile right now. He wishes this whole thing would be a dream, his whole life maybe. Wishes he would open his eyes and appear somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. 

But he's in Sergio's car, he's just run away from Iker and Sergio stops the car in front of his building and turns to Fernando. 

"Here we are," he says, "Let's go out now, okay?" 

Fernando looks down at his hands. "I shouldn't have done this," he whispers, "I want to go back." 

"There is no way back, Nando," Sergio says. 

Fernando's head jolts up. His eyes are wide and horrified. "No... Sergi, please... Please, take me back," he begs. 

Sergio takes his hands in his. "Nando, take a deep breath," he says, looking into his eyes, "It's okay, it's going to be okay. We'll go upstairs now and I'll make you tea. Calm down, it's going to be fine, it's fine, Fer, it's fine. Do you trust me?" 

Fernando nods, trying to calm his breathing. 

"Then let's go." 

Fernando swallows. Sergio gets out of the car and opens the passenger door. Fernando hesitates, but goes out slowly. Sergio takes his hand and leads him to the building. 

When they enter the apartment, Sergio goes to make him tea and then sits and watches how he drinks it with small sips. 

"Are you hungry?" he asks, when Fernando puts the mug away. 

The older man shakes his head. Sergio takes a deep breath. "Fer, I need to know. Are you hurt too badly?" 

Fernando shakes his head again. 

"Nando, I'm not blind. I see how you look. What happened?" 

Fernando looks down. "He-he was there, when I g-got home," he whispers, then closes his face with his hands. 

"Oh God," Sergio says, "What did he do?" 

Fernando doesn't answer, clutching at his hair. 

Sergio jumps to his feet. "You need a doctor," he says, without paying attention to Fernando's horrified gasp. 

He takes his phone and dials a number. "Hello, David," he says, "Fine, look, I've got Nando here at my place. It's a long story, I'll tell you later, okay? Yeah, I think so... I hope so... Of course, but not now. Later, okay? I'll tell you... Look, he's badly hurt. No, he's conscious and can move, but I think he's in pain. He doesn't tell me anything. Can you fix an appointment with that doctor who's friends with Pati and you? Thanks, David, I'll be waiting for your call. Bye." 

"I don't..." Fernando starts. 

"Don't worry, Nando, David knows her. Everything will be fine," Sergio says and Fernando believes him. 

When they come back from the hospital, Sergio is both relieved and angry. Relieved, because apparently there is nothing seriously wrong with Fernando, and angry, because the doctor told him in details how he looked and how she would have immediately called the police, if David hadn't asked her to keep it secret. Sergio would have done it himself, but he knew Fernando would freak out. 

Fernando, on the other hand, looks on the verge of passing out. It has been a torture for Sergio to see him bite on his lip in pain when they were in the car on their way back home. It has been too much for him today. Sergio makes sure he takes the medicine the doctor prescribed and when Fernando lies on the couch, he falls asleep within seconds. Sergio sits in front of him, admiring Fernando's regular features and passing his fingers gently over the bruises. Then he puts a feathery kiss on his hair and gets up to make something to eat. 

Fernando doesn't sleep for long. He jolts up with a gasp and Sergio runs to him. Fernando looks around with unfocused gaze for a moment, then he finds Sergio's eyes and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and reaches blindly for Sergio's hand. 

"What time is it?" he asks. 

"Half past six," Sergio answers puzzled. 

Fernando squeezes his hand tightly. "He's coming home now," he whispers. 

"But you're here," Sergio says. 

Fernando is trembling. "He'll get so mad. God, you don't know how mad he can get. I shouldn't have-shouldn't have..." 

"You're safe here, Nando," Sergio says and then smiles at him, "You must be hungry. Get up, I've made us dinner." 

Fernando's stomach is a tight knot and he manages only a few bites, glancing apologetically at Sergio. But the younger man doesn't insist, he offers to watch a movie and Fernando sits on the couch, tense and nervous. Sergio observes worried how his friend zones out from time to time and his hands start shaking. He doesn't relax even for a minute. 

"Okay, time to sleep," Sergio announces once the second movie is over, "Take your meds and go to bed." 

"I can sleep here, on the couch," Fernando says, "If-if you don't mind. Or anywhere. I can sleep anywhere..." 

"Nando, I've got a bed. You're sleeping there," Sergio says, "I'll sleep on the couch. I always sleep here. Never use bed. No arguing." 

Fernando closes his mouth. Sergio leads him to the bedroom and waits until he's in bed. Then he leans down and puts a kiss on his cheek. "Call me if you need anything," he says. 

Fernando smiles and nods, but when Sergio goes out, his smile disappears. He closes his eyes and tries to calm his breathing. The whole day seems a dream. He can't believe what he's done is real. Can't believe it was just this morning that Iker locked him in the bedroom. Can't believe he's really left Iker and now is lying in Sergio's bed. Iker will kill them both. Slowly. Fernando shivers and rubs his face. He's an idiot for getting Sergio involved, for believing for a second this will work out. Iker will find him and he'll hurt Sergio. Why did he even do this? Iker was being gentle with him, wasn't hurting him much and he could live with it and shouldn't have endangered Sergio. 

Fernando looks around. He can just wait for Sergio to fall asleep and then leave. He'll tell Iker he's done it all alone, Sergio doesn't have anything to do with it. It's him who has to be punished. Fernando shudders and instinctively reaches for his knee. It still hurts. His whole body hurts. He won't stand what Iker will surely do to him. But if Iker finds them, it will be worse. And he will find them, Fernando is sure of it. Maybe he already knows where he is? Maybe he's already in front of the building, behind the door, in the living room? He remembers the words Iker liked to repeat. _"Wherever you go, I'll find you, baby, and it won't be pretty."_ Fernando believed him. He believes him also now. Only it's already late to think about it. He put Sergio in danger like the idiot he is. 

Fernando sits up in the bed. Sergio is just sleeping here, not worrying about anything, while Iker can enter any minute. Someone moves in the living room. Fernando hears footsteps approaching the door. He clutches at the bed sheets, heart beating madly. If it's Iker, then... then he's already done something terrible to Sergio. "No," Fernando whispers. The door handle moves and he closes his eyes tightly. 

"Nando?" Sergio whispers. 

Fernando's eyes snap open and he lets out a breath of relief. 

"Why aren't you asleep?" Sergio asks. 

Instead of answering, Fernando jumps out of the bed despite the pain and envelops Sergio in his arms. "You're okay," he whispers, "I-I thought he'd found us." 

Sergio closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them again, gently pushing Fernando back on the bed and sitting next to him. "Listen to me, Nando," he says, "Iker can't find you here. He doesn't know where I live and no one will tell him." 

"He will kill you if he finds you," Fernando mumbles. 

"You're worried about me?" Sergio smiles. 

Fernando nods. 

"Don't be," Sergio says, "He can't do anything to me or to you, Fer. Now go to sleep, okay? You're tired." 

"I-I can't sleep," Fernando says, looking down. 

Sergio hesitates, but in the end decides to ask. "Do you want me to stay with you?" 

Fernando doesn't answer for so long, that Sergio starts to think he's fucked up everything, but then he looks at Sergio and nods slowly. The younger man smiles broadly and climbs on the bed lying on the other side. Fernando lies back next to him. 

"Will you lock the door?" he asks. 

Sergio represses a sigh and gets up to lock the door. 

"Thank you," Fernando whispers. 

He curls up on the bed, pulling the cover to his chin and when Sergio tentatively brings his hand to him, Fernando grasps it as though his life depends on it. His breathing evens out soon after that and Sergio finally feels able to fall asleep himself. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando looked and the thermometer and shook his head. "Thirty nine and eight," he announced, "I'm calling your mum."_

_"No," Sergio groaned, "She'll freak out. I'm not a kid anymore. If I live alone, then I shouldn't bother her. I'm fine."_

_"No, you're not," Fernando rolled his eyes, "You're sick. Also you're an idiot, but I think your mum knows that, because you're born that way."_

_"Nandooo, please, don't call her," Sergio whined._

_"And what should I do? You're sick."_

_"Nothing. Just stay with me. I'll be fine."_

_Fernando sighed. "I hate that you always convince me like this."_

_"You're too easy to manipulate," Sergio grinned._

_"I guess I'm born idiot too," Fernando laughed._

_"No, you're just too kind and trusting," Sergio said._

_Fernando raised his brows. "Are you delirious?"_

_"What? Can't I compliment my friend?" Sergio pouted._

_"Of course you can. You should. But you never do it."_

_"Well, today you stayed with me and didn't call my mum. Aren't you the best?"_

_Fernando shook his head affectionately and got up._

_"You're leaving?" Sergio asked weakly._

_"Of course I'm not. I'm going to make you tea and bring your meds," Fernando said._

_Sergio let out a relieved breath and fell back on the pillows. "Okay."_

_Smiling, Fernando went to the kitchen. Sergio could be such an idiot sometimes. Only he could stay for over an hour under the rain and sing a serenade for a girl. "Idiot," Fernando muttered, but couldn't help grinning. Just a few months ago he'd get jealous, but now seemed like he'd finally got over his feelings for Sergio. It was better this way. His crush on Sergio brought nothing but pain. He could never tell Sergio about his feelings, because he was afraid to make the things weird between them and lose whatever they had. Their friendship was more important than a stupid, unrequited crush Fernando had had for him since forever._

_He poured the tea and took it on the tray to Sergio. "Sergi, the tea is ready," he said gently._

_Sergio groaned. "I don't want to."_

_"But you should," Fernando said._

_"No."_

_"Don't be a kid. Let's drink this and then you'll sleep."_

_"Will you stay with me?"_

_"I told you I will," Fernando smiled._

_Sergio sighed and with his friend's help sat up in the bed. Fernando gave him the tea, then a pill for temperature and tucked him in the bed again. "Now sleep," he whispered and kissed Sergio's cheek, "God, you're burning."_

_"I feel so weak," Sergio complained in a small voice._

_"When you wake up, you'll feel better," Fernando assured him, caressing his face._

_"I'm so lucky to have you," Sergio said quietly._

_"Of course you are," Fernando confirmed._

_"Look, you're my best friend, my lover and my nurse all wrapped in one."_

_Fernando laughed. "No, you're really delirious. You should sleep now."_

_Sergio sighed and closed his eyes. It took him just a few minutes to fall asleep. Fernando sat next to him, reaching out to caress his face occasionally. Even thought he was sure he had gotten over his feelings for Sergio, sometimes he couldn't help the rush of more than friendly affection towards him._

_Sergio groaned in his sleep, kicking the blanket away. Fernando smiled, covered him again and leaned down to put a gentle kiss on Sergio's hair. Whatever happened to him, he was sure Sergio would always be a part of his life._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sergio has been looking at the sleeping Fernando for almost half an hour. He woke up earlier, made breakfast and got back in the bad to watch Fernando, feeling like a creep, but unable to help himself. For the last few minutes his friend seems to be dreaming and judging by his grimaces and little groans and whimpers, it isn't a pleasant dream. He's already thinking about waking him up, when Fernando's eyes snap open and he sits up in the bed with a gasp. He looks around frightened, apparently not realizing where he is. 

"Nando," Sergio says softly and Fernando jumps up and turns to him. "It's okay. You're safe. I'm here. It's me. " 

"Sergio," Fernando breathes out. 

"Yeah," Sergio smiles, "It's me. It was just a dream, Fer, you're safe." 

Fernando nods and smiles back weakly, slumping down on the bed. 

"I dreamed I was back," he whispers, "He was so mad at me, because I had run away with you..." He shudders. "You shouldn't have brought me here, Sergi, he'll kill you." 

Sergio sighs. "No, he won't, Nando. He can't do anything to me. He's a coward." 

Fernando looks at him wide-eyed. Sergio smiles. "The breakfast is waiting. Let's go." 

"You-you made breakfast?" Fernando asks, "I-I could have done it. You should have woken me up." 

"You're my guest, Nando. Who on earth wakes up his guest and sends him to make breakfast?" 

Fernando smiles sadly. "I just don't want to be a burden for you." 

Sergio puts his hands on Fernando's cheeks and makes him look into his eyes. "Don't ever say that again, Fer," he says, "You're not a burden for me and you'll never be. You can stay here as long as you want." 

You can stay here forever, he wants to say. 

Fernando blushes slightly and ducks his head. "Don't you have to go to work?" he asks. 

"I asked Pedro to replace me for the morning transmission, but I have to go in the evening. The night program can't do without me. They're exploiting me," Sergio sighs, "I'm so sorry I have to leave you alone tonight." 

"No, I'm used to staying alone," Fernando assures him, even if the thought terrifies him, "Just be careful." 

"I will," Sergio smiles, "Now if you feel good, let's go have some breakfast. If you feel bad, I'll bring it here." 

"I feel good," Fernando whispers. 

His appetite is a proof of that. Sergio smiles as he watches his friend destroy the pancakes he made. "How's your leg?" he asks. 

"Better," Fernando answers. 

"Okay, then let's think what we're going to do today until I leave for work," Sergio says, "You'll help me to make dinner, right?" 

Fernando nods eagerly. 

"Good, then we can watch a movie, as always, or a football match if there's a good one. You can draw if you want." He suddenly gasps, "Oh God, Nando, did you leave your comic book there? Dammit, how could I have forgotten that?" 

He falls silent, when Fernando's shoulders slump and he lowers his head. "What is it, Nando?" he asks. 

"He burnt them," Fernando mumbles, barely audible. 

"What?" 

Fernando makes a choking sound in his throat. "He burnt the notebooks." He closes his face with his hands. 

Sergio's goes through a variety of emotions - shock, fury, sorrow, hope. 

"Nando," he says, suddenly cheerful, "I copied them." 

Fernando looks up, eyes red-rimmed. "W-what?" 

"Remember when I asked you to let me take the notebooks home? I, sorry, I had to ask you, but I copied them, because Xabi knows this English guy, who knows another English guy, who's interested in these things. So we sent a few pages to him and now we're waiting for his answer. Sorry, I had to tell you sooner," he sighs. 

Fernando just blinks at him. "You're kidding me?" 

"Noo, I'll show you the copies right now. I've got them in my computer." He runs to his laptop and switches it on. "Here, look, Nando." 

Fernando slowly goes after him and stares at the screen. His drawings are there. Every page is there. He looks at Sergio and the Sevillan grins brightly at him. Eyes brimming with tears, Fernando silently pulls his friend into a tight hug. Sergio almost unnoticeably kisses his neck, when he feels Fernando shaking against him. "It's okay, Nando," he whispers. "You've become too emotional," he jokes, when the older man finally lets him go. 

Fernando just keeps staring at him. "I don't even know..." he starts, but is unable to finish the sentence and has to close his mouth with his hand and take a deep breath. "Thank you," he whispers, then pulls Sergio to him again and kisses him on the cheek. 

Sergio feels his skin burn where Fernando's lips have touched him. "D-don't t-thank me," he stammers. Then he shakes his head and sighs. "Sit down and rest a little, Fer, you're too overwhelmed." 

Fernando's still looking at him marveled and lets Sergio lead him to the couch. "Thank you," he whispers again and when Sergio smiles and makes a move to get up, catches his hand. "Stay with me," he asks and Sergio is more than happy to comply. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_The girl waved to Fernando and ran to her friends. Fernando went to Sergio, who, as always, was waiting for him at their place next to the school._

_"Is she your girlfriend?" he grinned._

_"Who?"_

_Sergio rolled his eyes. "The girl in mini skirt who went out from the school with you. Is she your girlfriend?"_

_Fernando cringed. "No," he said quietly._

_"I think she is," Sergio drawled mockingly, "You've been talking for almost five minutes before she left."_

_"So?" Fernando shrugged, "She was just asking me about something."_

_"Like when you're going on a date?" Sergio snickered._

_"No," Fernando said pointedly, "She was asking me if I can draw her."_

_Sergio doubled over from laughter. "Naked?" he whispered._

_"Noo," Fernando blushed furiously, "Just-just a portrait."_

_"And what did you say?" Sergio asked, still choking from laughter._

_"I said yes," Fernando said, pressing his lips together._

_He didn't need to look at Sergio to know that his eyes shone with a mischievous fire. "She's your girlfriend," he said._

_Fernando was amazed that his face didn't hurt from grinning that widely. "No."_

_"She's your giiiirlfrieeeeend," Sergio's grin became even wider._

_"I said no," Fernando snapped._

_Sergio didn't pay attention to him. "Nando's got a girlfriend. Nando's got a girlfriend," he sang, jumping up and down._

_Fernando gritted his teeth trying to take a deep breath, but suddenly exploded. "Shut up, Sergio! She's not my fucking girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. I won't ever have a girlfriend. Got it? Shut up!"_

_He regretted his outburst immediately, when he saw Sergio looking at him with big, hurt eyes._

_Fernando sighed. "I'm sorry, Sergi," he whispered, "I just..." He looked around as if trying to find words, but just waved his hand. "I'm sorry."_

_"I was just joking," Sergio said offended._

_"I know, I just..."_

_"What's wrong with you?"_

_"I..." Fernando sighed and then turned to the left, heading to the park. Sergio followed him silently._

_"So? Why won't you ever have a girlfriend except that you're ugly like an Orc?" Sergio asked, when they sat at their favorite place._

_Fernando's heart started beating faster. He knows, he thought horrified, he knows._

_"Nando," Sergio said impatiently._

_"I don't like girls," Fernando mumbled and then more quietly added, "I like boys."_

_He glanced at Sergio to see the utter shock on his face._

_"You mean," Sergio blinked, "You mean you like boys like you should like girls?"_

_"No one can tell me who I should like," Fernando snapped._

_"I didn't mean that. I-I'm sorry."_

_Sergio sounded desperate and Fernando felt sorry for him. He was just a kid after all. He was probably confused and frightened. Just like Fernando himself. "If you want to leave, I won't blame you," he said quietly._

_Sergio stared at him. "Why would I leave?" he asked._

_Fernando looked up. "I don't know," he said._

_"Then shut up," Sergio said._

_Fernando complied._

_"How long have you known?" Sergio asked after a while._

_"I think I've known all my life," Fernando said, "I've just realized that lately."_

_"Does your family know?"_

_Fernando shook his head._

_"Are you going to tell them?"_

_"I should," Fernando said._

_"If they kick you out, you can always come to live with us," Sergio joked, but Fernando paled visibly and looked at him horrified._

_"You-you think they will?" he whispered._

_Sergio looked at him like he was an idiot. "Why would they?" he asked._

_"Well, you know, because I, uh, well, I'm...."_

_"So what?" Sergio interrupted his sufferings, "It doesn't change anything."_

_Fernando smiled. "It doesn't?"_

_"Not for me. And I'm sure neither for them. You talk as though you don't know your family, Nando."_

_Fernando let out a sigh of relief and stood up. "Thank you, Sergi," he whispered._

_Sergio smiled in response. "Let's go. You'll tell them today."_

_In the evening Fernando knocked at the door of Sergio's room. Sergio ushered him in and sat next to him on the bed. "Well?" he said, "Did you tell them?"_

_Fernando nodded._

_"And?"_

_"They said they'd known for years," Fernando smiled, "Mari and Isra even made fun of me that it took me this long to realize."_

_He laughed together with Sergio._

_"Well," Sergio said, when they calmed down, "Who is it? Is that the guy from the school paper? The tall and pimpled one."_

_"What? No!"_

_"He's your boyfriend," Sergio grinned._

_"He isn't."_

_"He's your booooyfrieeeend," Sergio's grin became wider._

_"Sergi, please, stop it."_

_"Nando's got a boyfriend. Nando's got a boyfriend."_

_"Shut up, Sergio."_


	13. Chapter 13

Sergio takes the car keys and goes to the door, but doesn't open it, tapping his fingers nervously on it. 

"You're already leaving?" Fernando asks, and as much he tries, he's unable to hide the fear in his voice. 

"Yeah," Sergio says, glancing at his watch, "Sorry, Nando." 

"No, it's fine," Fernando says, trying to prepare himself for staying alone. 

He jumps out of his skin when the doorbell rings. 

Sergio mutters "finally" right when Fernando says, "Don't open it." 

"Don't worry, Nando," Sergio smiles and opens the door. 

Fernando's heart stops beating until Sergio moves back and David enters. 

"Where the hell have you been? I'm late," Sergio hisses. 

"Yeah, sorry, traffic," David says absent-mindedly, "Where is he?" 

"I'm here," Fernando says, standing up from the couch. 

David looks at him and his eyes gradually widen. Fernando knows he looks awful, he's seen the bruises covering his face and neck in the mirror, though he tries to avoid mirrors. 

"He has to take his painkillers before sleep," Sergio breaks the silence, "I'm leaving. Bye, guys, see you later." 

Sergio closes the door after him and David comes up to Fernando. 

"Hi, Nando," he smiles sadly. 

"Hi, David," Fernando says, pulling him into a hug. 

David is careful, as though afraid to hurt Fernando. Then he pulls back and looks at him again. 

"Oh God," he whispers, "I'm going to kill that prick." 

Fernando's face contorts at the mention of Iker. "Sit down," he tells David, "You're hungry, right? Sergio and me prepared dinner." 

"Yeah, but let's wait for the other guys," David says. 

"They're coming too?" Fernando's face brightens. 

"Yeah, they'll be here soon. I asked Sergio not to tell you, because they wanted to surprise you, but I had to talk to you alone, that's why I didn't wait for them." 

"To talk to me?" Fernando repeats. 

David nods, staring at his feet. "I wanted to say sorry," he says quietly and before Fernando can interrupt, continues. "I had to be the first to help you, but I turned my back to you. We were like brothers, Nando, we lived together, but I didn’t help to you when you needed it." 

"You-you found the doctor," Fernando says, feeling uncomfortable that David blames himself because of him. 

David smiles. "I missed you, Nando." 

"I missed you too." 

"Sergio invited you, because didn't want me to stay alone?" Fernando asks after a while. 

"Because we were demanding to see you," David says, "And because he didn't want you to stay alone." 

Fernando wants to say something, but at that moment the doorbell rings and he jumps up. 

"It's probably the guys," David says and goes to the door, trying to ignore Fernando's frightened eyes. 

"Hi, love, you're already here?" Fernando hears Patricia's voice and takes a deep breath. He goes to the door and smiles at his friends. Looking at him, they freeze for a second and Fernando bows his head. 

Pepe is the first to come to his senses. "Hey, niño," he cries and pulls him into a bear hug. 

"Easy," David nudges him, "You'll hurt him." 

"Oops, sorry," Pepe immediately releases him. 

Xabi and the girls are noticeably more gentle with him. Nagore look is almost pitying and Fernando flushes. 

"I look awful, yeah?" he asks. 

"No, blue suits you," Pepe says. 

Xabi glares at him, but Fernando bursts out laughing and the others join him. 

They all compliment the dishes he and Sergio have made and spend the evening joking, arguing and making fun of each other. Fernando feels like he's gone back in time. He even forgets about Iker for a while. The guys don't mention him once, carefully avoiding the topic. Fernando doesn't remember the last time he felt so good. 

It's already late when they get up to go. The fear creeps back into Fernando's heart, though he tries to mask it under a smile. "You'll come to visit again, right?" he asks hopefully. 

"Of course, every day if you want," Xabi smiles. 

"Just like the old times?" 

"Just like the old times." 

Fernando hugs each of them, but when he turns to Pepe, the older man grins. "No need to tell me goodbye, Nando, I'm staying." 

"You're staying with me?" Fernando asks surprised. 

Pepe nods. Fernando breathes out a sigh of relief and tries not to pay attention to the sad looks of the others. 

"C'mon, niño, give me more of that strange, yummy thing," Pepe says, closing the door. 

"As if you're not fat enough," Fernando teases. 

"Hey, this is not fat, these are muscles," Pepe cries offended. 

Fernando just laughs, then suddenly shoves him away jokingly and runs to the living room. But he doesn't manage to get to it when he cries out from pain and sways. Pepe catches him in time and lowers him down carefully. "What is it, Nando?" 

Fernando clutches at his knee. "Hurts," he mumbles, "I'm an idiot. I'd forgotten I'm injured and started to run. Sorry, Pepe." 

"Oh, niño," Pepe sighs, then gently takes him up and carries him to the couch. "You feel like a feather," he says concerned, "Do you eat enough?" 

Fernando just nods, grimacing in pain. Pepe brings him his pills and after a while the pained expression on Fernando's face softens. Then Pepe carries him to the bedroom and stays with him despite his protests, silencing his constant apologies for God knows what. 

When Fernando falls asleep, Pepe finally gets up and kisses him on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, niño," he whispers and goes to snooze on the couch until Sergio's return. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_Fernando knocked at the door and held his breath waiting. It's already late. Too late. Pepe might have been sleeping. Maybe he shouldn't have come here._

_The door opened and Pepe raised his eyebrows, seeing him at his door. "Nando, what are you doing here at this hour?" he exclaimed._

_Fernando looked at his feet. "I-I had a fight with Iker," he mumbled._

_"Come in," Pepe sighed, "Join Sergeant Pepe's lonely hearts club."_

_"Sorry, I didn't know where to go," Fernando said, following him inside, "I couldn't go to my parents', they'd worry. Sergio... I-I think he doesn't want to see me. Xabi and David don't live alone anymore, so..."_

_"I wouldn't be so sure about David not living alone," he heard a voice from the living room._

_"David?" Fernando said surprised._

_"Hey, Nando, haven't seen you for ages." David's smile seemed forced, but his hug was genuine._

_"What are you doing here?" Fernando asked._

_"Tonight is the night of dejected boyfriends," Pepe announced, "Only I don't know why you decided to gather in my house."_

_Fernando slumped down on a chair and grabbed a bottle of beer. "What happened to you?" he asked David._

_"Patricia kicked me out," David grumbled, taking a gulp from his bottle._

_"Patricia kicked his ass and then kicked him out," Pepe corrected cheerfully._

_Fernando cringed. "That must have been painful, dude," he said._

_"Hey, you were supposed to laugh your ass off," Pepe said._

_David glared at him. "Unlike someone Nando sympathizes with me," he told Pepe, "He knows how it feels."_

_"Did Iker kick your ass and then kick you out?" Pepe asked, chewing something._

_"No, I went out myself," Fernando murmured._

_"What happened?" David asked._

_Fernando shrugged. "We just started arguing about something stupid and then..." He waved his hand._

_"Yeah, the same with me and Pati," David nodded, "She's jealous of everyone."_

_"Iker too," Fernando mumbled._

_"She slapped me, can you believe it?" David said bitterly, while Pepe was trying his best not to laugh._

_Fernando's head jolted up. "Really?"_

_"Yeah. And it hurt, dammit."_

_"Stop being a fucking baby," Pepe interrupted._

_"I'm not. She grazed my face with her nails. Look, there is still blood on my face."_

_Fernando didn't hear Pepe's answer. He was back home in his mind, relieving what had happened over an hour ago. The thing was that Iker had hit him. Just slapped him and stormed off to the bedroom. Fernando had been so shocked that he had just fled the apartment, barely reaching Pepe's house. It had never happened before. Fernando didn't know what to think, what to do. He was scared. Not of Iker, of course. He was scared that this incident can mar their perfect life. But seemed like he wasn't the only one with the same problem. Maybe it wasn't as awful as he thought. Iker just got jealous. Fernando shouldn't have gone drinking with the guys from work. He knew how jealous Iker was, how much he loved him._

_Fernando pushed back the thoughts that he would have never hit Iker no matter what happened. He loved Iker too much and just the thought of hurting him made him want to throw up. That was why he hadn't hit him back, even though for a split of second he had wanted to._

_He shook his head and took another bottle. He had to drink and sleep. In the morning everything would be better._

_He wasn't wrong. In the morning Iker appeared just when he was going out to take the bus to work. Pepe left them alone in the living room. Iker was silent and Fernando kept fidgeting. "I'll be late for work," he said finally._

_"Baby, I'm sorry," Iker said, "I'm so sorry, I'm an idiot."_

_"Yeah, you are," Fernando confirmed._

_"I'm really sorry, I will never do it again."_

_"I know," Fernando said._

_"Do you forgive me?"_

_Fernando sighed and then smiled. "I can't help myself. I love you."_

_"I love you too, baby," Iker murmured, kissing his jaw, "Now let's go or you'll be late for work."_

_Fernando smiled happily and kissed Iker on the lips. Everything was back to normal._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For a few horrible seconds after waking up Fernando thinks he's in their house and it's Iker calling him from the living room. Then he remembers that he's at Sergio's, though it doesn't calm him down. There is definitely someone talking in the living room. Straining his ears, Fernando understands that it's Sergio and Pepe and lets out a breath of relief. He glances at the clock, it's almost 2 am. He wants to go back to sleep, but senses something off in Sergio's tone and limps to the door, opening it quietly to listen to them. 

"Fuck," Sergio hisses, "Careful, Pepe, it hurts." 

"Yeah, that bastard hit you pretty bad." 

"I broke his nose." 

"What did he do?" 

"Nothing, the security guys threw him away and he ran like the coward he is." 

Fernando's suddenly feels dizzy. He doesn't listen anymore to what they are talking about, clutches at the doorknob and takes a few deep breaths. Sergio got into a fight with Iker. Because of him. Iker hit Sergio. He could have done worse if Sergio were alone. Fernando shudders. He can't let it happen. He puts on his clothes, takes another deep breath and walks to the living room. 

Pepe and Sergio immediately stop talking when they see Fernando. 

"Fer?" Sergio says, "Why aren't you asleep?" 

Fernando looks at him. There is a nasty bruise on his right cheekbone. 

"I'm leaving," Fernando says. 

"What?" Sergio cries, "Why? Where to?" 

Fernando raises his hand as if to touch Sergio's face, then withdraws it. "I'm so sorry, Sergi," he whispers, "It's my fault, it's all my fault. I shouldn’t-shouldn't have involved you. I'm sorry, I'll just go, okay? I'll just go." 

"Where are you going, Fer?" Sergio asks, moving to the door. 

"I'm going back," Fernando says, "I'll tell him you've got nothing to do with this. Don't worry, Sergio, I'll tell him it's all my fault." 

"You're not going anywhere," Sergio says slowly. 

Fernando blinks. "He hit you." 

"I broke his nose." 

Fernando gasps. If it's true, Iker will be so mad now. Fernando can't even begin to imagine how angry he will be and what he will do. No, actually he can and it makes his knees go weak. 

"Niño, just calm down, okay?" Pepe says carefully. 

Fernando's head turns to him abruptly, just now remembering Pepe's presence. "Pepe, please tell him to let me go. I have to go. Please, Sergi, I have to go." 

Sergio closes his eyes for a minute, then swallows. "No," he says. 

Fernando chokes back a sob and Sergio flinches. 

"You have to let me go," Fernando says in a trembling voice and moves to the door where Sergio is standing, "Open the door." 

"No," Sergio repeats. 

"Please," Fernando whispers. 

Sergio closes his eyes and shakes his head. 

"Sergio, please. He hit you, Sergi, I-I can't... He'll do it again. He-he'll find you. I have to go. I'll-I'll tell him it's me, I promise, promise, he won't come near you again. Just open the door, please, let me go." 

Sergio's eyes are closed, but from Fernando's voice he understands he's crying. He feels nauseous, like an invisible hand is gripping his heart and his stomach. He doesn't expect that Fernando will suddenly shove him away and open the door. 

Pepe catches him in time and Sergio closes the door, quickly coming to his senses. Fernando is trashing in Pepe's arms. 

"Let me go," he cries, "Please, let me go. Pepe, please, you don't understand. Please, Sergio, please, if you're my friend, if I mean anything to you, let me go." 

He's sobbing openly now and Sergio just can't look at him. "Pepe, please, take him to the bedroom," he asks quietly and Pepe nods. 

But it turns out that dragging the struggling Fernando to the bedroom isn't a task for one man and Sergio has to help Pepe, listening to Fernando's pleas and sobs. They manage to put him to bed despite his fighting and are forced to keep him in place, holding him tight. His breathing is heavy and noisy, tears are rolling freely across his cheeks and Sergio's afraid to take his hands off him to dry them. 

Fernando stops trashing for a moment and looks him into the eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?" he whispers brokenly. 

And Sergio can't take it anymore. He closes his mouth with both hands and runs out of the room, slumping face down onto the couch and sobbing his heart out. He puts a pillow on his head to muffle the sounds coming from the bedroom and bites his hand to stop himself from screaming. 

He's sitting, hugging his knees, when Pepe returns. 

"He fell asleep," he says tiredly, "He's exhausted." 

"Thank you," Sergio whispers. 

Pepe slumps down next to him. "Does this happen often?" he asks. 

Sergio shrugs. "It's been just two days he's living with me, but he's had some kind of breakdowns, when I was visiting him." He sighs and closes his face with his hands. "He's just so frightened, Pepe. I'm losing it, when I think what that bastard could have done to turn him into this. God, he was begging to let him go back. I felt like such a monster." 

"You did what you had to do," Pepe says, "You couldn't let him go back, could you? He probably wouldn't even reach Iker's house. He'd just collapse somewhere on the streets." 

"I know," Sergio says quietly, "I just... I felt like I was doing what that fucker would do, forbiding him to do what he wants, making him do things against his will. You saw his eyes, Pepe. He probably hates me." 

"If he hated you, he wouldn't want to sacrifice himself for you. He'll sleep and in the morning everything will be fine." 

Sergio nods. 

"You sleep too, nene. You're so tired. Go sleep next to your Nando. I'll stay here." 

"Thanks, Pepe," Sergio whispers and slowly goes to the bedroom. 

Fernando's face is clearly visible under the moonlight. There are still fresh traces of tears on his cheeks and he's snuffling and whimpering quietly. Sergio is overwhelmed by the desire to take him into his arms and hold him like that, to make his pain disappear. But instead he lies down carefully next to him and traces his fingers ever so lightly across his cheek. Fernando sighs in his sleep, but seems to calm down. Sergio gently takes his hand and falls asleep like that. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando had been awake for some time, when Sergio woke up. He yawned and stretched, smiling sleepily at Fernando._

_"Where are we?" he asked._

_"At Nagore's family house at the beach," Fernando rolled his eyes._

_"Did we sleep together?" Sergio mumbled._

_Fernando raised his eyebrows. "As in fucked or slept in the same bed? Regardless of the character of the question, I believe the answer is quite obvious. In case of the latter the answer is in the simple fact that we woke up together in the same bed. In case of the former, my dear, the situation in your rear should have let you known that the answer to the question whether we've had intercourse is positive."_

_Sergio stared at him for a moment and then snorted. "Sometimes you're batshit crazy," he said._

_Fernando grinned. "You love me for that."_

_"Well, yeah, I do," Sergio smiled and then jolted up, "Shit, yesterday I promised Paola I'd spend the evening with her. Damn, she must be so mad now."_

_"Who the hell is Paola?" Fernando muttered._

_"The hottie I meet yesterday at the beach," Sergio groaned, "How did I end up here? I was supposed to go with her."_

_"We were out drinking, I asked you if you want to sleep with me today and you said yes," Fernando answered innocently._

_"Fuck, I missed the chance to get laid because of you, Nando."_

_"Hey, you did get laid," Fernando complained._

_"Yeah, well, it's not like you're the girl with the biggest boobs I've ever seen."_

_"No, I'm the guy with the biggest dick you've ever seen."_

_He had little hope Sergio would be embarrassed. He'd lost that ability after the age of ten._

_"Well, I have only mine to compare to and I have to say that yours doesn't stand a chance," he said._

_"Oh yeah? Don't forget that I've seen yours, Sergio," Fernando answered._

_A knock at the door interrupted their meaningful conversation._

_"Who's there?" Sergio shouted._

_"Xabi sent me after your lazy asses," they heard Pepe's voice, "Can I come in or are you fucking right now?"_

_Fernando chuckled. "You can come in, Pepe."_

_Sergio's eyes suddenly were lit by a mischievous spark. "Look what I'm going to do," he whispered and without warning sat in Fernando's lap. He leaned over the older man and pressed their lips together._

_Shocked for a few seconds, Fernando finally understood what was going on and answered the kiss. His heart had jumped to his throat. Sure they kissed with Sergio, but only during sex or foreplay. Never like this, just... just like they were a couple. Fernando knew this didn't mean anything, he and Sergio were going to remain fuck buddies, but still he pulled his friend closer, hands creeping into his hair, devouring his mouth passionately._

_Fernando's bubble of momentary happiness was rudely burst by Pepe's shriek. "OH MY GOD! My eyes, my eyes. The world will never be the same again."_

_He ran out from the room, still shouting something. Sergio laughed and pulled back, lying back next to Fernando. "That was hilarious, wasn't it, Nando?"_

_"Y-yeah, yeah it was," Fernando answered hoarsely._

_"Are you okay?" Sergio asked concerned._

_"What? Yeah, I-I guess. I mean I'm fine, yeah, Sergi." He smiled as sincerely as he could._

_Sergio looked at him suspiciously, but then got up. "Okay, let's go down and grab some breakfast. And then I'll go and try to make it up to Ms. Big Boobs."_

_Fernando felt like there was a piece of glass in his heart. A fucking big piece of glass. He didn't tell anything, just got up and put on his clothes._

_The guys were already around the table, noisy and cheerful as always. Sergio quickly grabbed a bite and ran to find his Paola and Fernando sat gloomily at the table, not joining the general conversation._

_"Hey, everything's alright, Nando?" Xabi asked._

_Fernando nodded._

_"You look sad," Patricia noted._

_"He's probably sorry that because of him and that asshole Sergio I'm mentally scarred for life," Pepe said._

_Everyone laughed and started making fun of Pepe and Fernando was grateful for it. He didn't want to spoil their day with sad stories about his unrequited love. He had to get over Sergio. They were friends. They had always been and would always be friends. Nothing more. Sergio would never have feelings for him. He'd made it clear so many times._

_Fernando sighed, taking a sip from his coffee. He had to find someone and forget Sergio. He'd never had even one relationship because of him. It was time to change that. Looked like he had to start taking David's invitations to various parties. Maybe there he'd meet the love of his life._


	14. Chapter 14

In the morning Fernando wakes up with a terrible headache. Sergio's sleeping soundly next to him, fully clothed and holding his hand. Fernando doesn't want to wake him up, so he doesn't try to pull his hand away. He lies back and tries to remember what happened last night. Then he suddenly jolts up and looks at Sergio's face. The bruise is still there, so it wasn't a dream. When he wants to bring his hand to touch it, Sergio opens his eyes. Fernando gasps and looks away. 

"Good morning," Sergio smiles. 

"I'm sorry for the night," Fernando whispers. 

"It's fine, Nando." 

"No, it's-it's not... I should be grateful... You've done so much for me. And what did I do?" He falls silent, lying back and turning away. 

"Don't worry about it, Nando." 

"I just don't want you to get hurt." 

"Nando, don't worry about me," Sergio says gently, "Look, that bastard doesn't know where I live, he can find me at the radio, but he can't do anything to me there." 

Sergio's sure Iker can't do anything to him anywhere, but now he has to reassure Fernando. 

"Just... Be careful," Fernando says, "And if-if you want me to leave, just tell me, okay? Just tell me and I'll...." 

"Fer, your words hurt more than this bruise," Sergio says. 

It's true, but Sergio regrets he said that, because Fernando flinches as if he's been hit and bows his head. "Sorry," he whispers, "I always fuck up everything." 

"No, you don't, you're doing everything right," Sergio assures him, "Okay, gonna make us some breakfast now. You can go back to sleep, while I'm at it." 

"Can I..." Fernando looks unsure, "Can I come with you?" 

"You can do whatever you want," Sergio says. 

Fernando looks at him surprised, then smiles weakly and follows Sergio to the kitchen.

~~~

It's Xabi's turn to stay with Fernando tonight and they spend a quiet evening, watching Xabi's favorite TV show. After another episode Xabi turns to Fernando and says, "Oh, by the way, Nando, did I tell you you've got a meeting with an English publisher in a week?"

Fernando chokes on empty air. "What-what publisher?" he coughs. 

"Didn't Sergio tell you we've sent your comic to my friend in England, who knows the director of some publishing house?" 

"He-he mentioned," Fernando stutters, "I-I didn't think... Why? Why would someone want to see me?" 

"He liked your drawings," Xabi shrugs, "I've seen them. I don't know much about comic books, but they seemed great to me." 

"They-they are stupid," Fernando says, "I just did it for..." For not going mad. "For fun." 

"They are not stupid, Nando." 

"He never liked my drawings," Fernando whispers almost inaudibly, "He always said I should do something useful, something more important. They're stupid. No one would like them." 

"Iker didn't know a fuck about drawing," Xabi snaps, cringing when Fernando startles, "Nando, if a serious publisher liked them and wants to see you, then they must be good." 

"Thank you," Fernando mumbles. 

"It's only the truth," Xabi smiles. 

Fernando tries not to think about it, to forget that he's going to meet someone to discuss his drawings. He doesn't know how he's going to get out of the house. He shudders when he thinks about it. But if Sergio is with him, maybe it'll be easier. Everything is easier with Sergio. 

He falls asleep and dreams about Sergio and Watchmen.

~~~

Fernando's bruises almost entirely fade in a few days. He doesn't understand why Sergio is so concerned about it. Fernando himself doesn't even look in the mirror.

One morning he wakes up to find the apartment empty. Before he can start panicking, the door opens and Sergio enters with a grin. 

"Look who is here," he says and holds the door open. 

Fernando's heart is beating madly, as a woman slowly enters and turns to him with a sad smile. 

"Mari," Fernando whispers. 

The woman's eyes fill with tears. Fernando keeps standing in his place, not knowing what to do, what to say. He doesn't remember when was the last time they talked. His sister runs to him and pulls him into a tight hug. 

"Fer, oh my God, Fernando," she cries. 

Fernando wraps his arms around her, feeling her trembling. Or is it him? 

"Mari, I'm so sorry," he whispers, "I'm so sorry." 

"Shh, it's okay," Maria whispers back, "It's okay. I missed you, Fer. God, I missed you so much." 

They are both crying now, hugging each other tighter, whispering words of comfort and apology. When they finally pull back, their eyes are red and puffy. They look at each other and laugh. Maria doesn't ask Fernando anything. Sergio has told her what happened on the way, omitting the most gruesome details, and made her promise she wouldn't talk to Fernando about Iker. 

Maria keeps her promise, but has to bite her lips to restrain from hurling insults to Iker, whenever she notices faint traces of abuse on Fernando's face or whenever her brother jumps or gasps at every loud sound. 

They keep talking and talking. Mostly Maria, who tells him about her life during the past years. They take a break only when Sergio announces it's time to eat. Then they talk some more. Maria tells him about their parents and Israel and Fernando shuts his eyes, digs his nails in his palms not to allow the tears to fall again. 

"Hey," Maria says gently, touching his hand, "Do you want to talk to Isra?" 

Fernando's eyes snap open, then he looks down. "He wouldn't want to," he murmurs. 

"He would, Fer, he does. Very much. I'll call him now, okay?" 

Fernando doesn't answer. He had a really bad argument with his brother more than two years ago and now he's sure Israel hates him. 

"Hey, Isra," Maria says, "How are you? Fine, fine. The kids too. Haha, shut up, smart-ass, that's not funny. Look, guess who wants to talk to you? No, not him. No. I'm in Madrid. There is another person besides mum and dad in Madrid who wants to talk to you. I'm at Sergio's. No, it's not Sergio, dumbass. Say it, don't be shy. Okay, I'll just give the phone to him, you're hopeless." 

She winks at Fernando and says, "He's waiting." 

Fernando's hand is shaking, when he takes the phone. 

"Hello?" Israel says. 

Fernando swallows. 

"Talk to him," Maria mouths. 

"Hey, who is it?" Israel says. 

Fernando closes his eyes. "I-Isra?" he says, "It's me." 

"Fer?" 

"Y-yeah." 

"Oh my God, Fer. Oh, Fer. You-you're with Mari? You're at Sergio's? How? I mean, how-how are you, Fernando?" 

His brother sounds close to tears, Fernando doesn't remember if he's ever seen or heard him cry. 

"Fine," he chokes out, "You?" 

"Me too. God, Fer, I can't believe it..." 

"Isra, forgive me," Fernando bursts out. He looks around. Maria and Sergio have left him alone. "I'm so sorry for everything. Please don't hate me." 

"Hey, hey, Fer, it's okay. I don't hate you. I love you, Fer, you're my brother. Calm down, okay? Forget it." 

"You forgive me?" 

"There is nothing to forgive." 

Fernando lets out a relieved sigh. "I'm so happy to talk to you, Isra," he admits, "I missed you." 

"I missed you too, Fer. I'll come to Madrid soon and we'll meet, I promise." 

"Yeah-yeah, I... I'd love to." 

"But what are you doing at Sergio's?" Israel asks. 

"I-I've been living with Sergio for the past few days," Fernando whispers. 

"Really? Did you break up with Iker?" 

Fernando's breath hitches. Did he break up with Iker? He shudders thinking about it. "I-I d-don't know," he says. 

"You don't know?" 

"N-no." 

"Okaaay, can you pass the phone to Mari? We'll talk again, okay, Fer?" 

"Okay." 

"Take care. See you soon." 

Fernando gives the phone to Maria, who goes to the other side of the room and talks about something in a hushed voice, wiping her eyes from time to time. Sergio comes and sits down next to Fernando. 

"Are you okay, Nando?" he asks. 

Fernando nods and then looks up to Sergio. "I thought they hated me," he says with a faint smile, "Thank you." 

Sergio grins. "You're welcome." 

"Hey, Fer, I've got an idea," Maria says, slipping on the couch and hugging Fernando's shoulders, "Tomorrow we're going to visit mum and dad." 

Fernando gasps. "I-I don't know..." He wants to say he's scared, but doesn't want to look like a coward in front of Sergio and Maria. 

"I do," his sister says, "We're going." 

"You're staying here tonight?" Fernando asks. 

"Of course," Mari smiles and takes his hand. 

Fernando relaxes and his other hand almost involuntarily finds Sergio's. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Iker's key turned in the lock and Fernando tensed. Then he rolled his eyes at himself and went to greet him._

_"Hey," he smiled, pecking him on the lips, "How are you?"_

_"Fine," Iker grumbled, shoving him away, and went straight to the kitchen, "I'm hungry."_

_Fernando hurried after him, trying to remember if he had left any evidence there. When he saw Iker's dark stare, he understood that he had._

_"There are two dirty dishes," Iker said slowly, "Have we had guests?"_

_Fuck, why hadn't he done the dishes before Iker returned?_

_"Well?" Iker growled._

_Fernando swallowed audibly. "Mari visited me," he mumbled._

_"Oh," Iker raised his eyebrows, "Mari."_

_Fernando nodded sheepishly._

_"Did you invite her?" Iker asked._

_"N-no."_

_"Then why did she come?"_

_"She wanted to see me."_

_"Oh," Iker said again, "To see you."_

_"Yeah."_

_"What did you talk about?"_

_Fernando shrugged. "Just-just... Nothing."_

_He dared to look up at Iker, who had moved closer to him, and then lowered his head again._

_"Nothing," Iker repeated, "I don't believe you."_

_"No, Iker, I-I swear..."_

_"She tried to convince you to break up with me, didn't she?" Iker said, "She wanted you to start talking to Israel again."_

_"N-no, Iker, I..."_

_"Tell me the truth, Fernando!"_

_"I-I..."_

_Iker grabbed Fernando's chin and raised his head up, making him look into his eyes. "Did she try to make you talk to you fucking brother?"_

_Fernando tried to jerk away, but Iker squeezed his jaw until he hissed in pain and looked at him._

_"Answer me," Iker snarled._

_"Y-yeah," Fernando breathed._

_"And what did you tell her?"_

_"I-I said I d-don't want to."_

_"Good boy," Iker loosened his grip a little, but Fernando didn't dare let out a breath of relief yet._

_"Did she tell you to break up with me?" Iker asked._

_"No."_

_Iker squeezed his jaw again. "Don't lie to me," he hissed._

_"I-I don't, I s-swear, she didn't tell me that."_

_"You know I don't like being lied to," Iker drawled._

_"I'm not lying, I swear, Iker, please, believe me, I'm not lying," Fernando whispered desperately. Iker needed to believe him. He had to. Fernando didn't want to think what would happen if he didn't._

_Iker let go of his chin and shoved him on the chest._

_"I'll believe you this time, baby," he said, "But this should be the last time you let that bitch in my house, when I'm not at home."_

_Fernando gritted his teeth. "Don't..." he started, the angry words ready to pour out from his tongue, but Iker's pointed glare made him shut his mouth and burn red. He wanted to hit himself. What kind of man he was if he couldn't even defend his sister?_

_Iker smirked and went back to his dinner. Fernando blinked a few times to push back the tears and moved to sit at the table._

_"Stop," Iker barked._

_Fernando froze._

_"Remain standing," Iker ordered._

_"W-why?"_

_"Because I said so," Iker snarled._

_Fernando remained standing there until Iker finished his dinner. Then he finally looked at him and grinned. "Go to the living room and stand in the corner," he said._

_Fernando looked at him surprised for a moment, but obeyed wordlessly. Iker followed him, humming something under his breath. "Face to the wall," he ordered, "Don't lean on it."_

_"Iker, please," Fernando whispered._

_"Do you want me to make you do it?" Iker snapped._

_Fernando shook his head and stood facing the wall._

_"Good," Iker sneered, "This will be a lesson to you, baby. You won't disobey me again. Whenever you decide to open the door for someone from your fucking family, you'll remember how you spent all night on your feet."_

_"A-all night?" Fernando said horrified, "Iker..."_

_"No talking," Iker growled._

_Fernando bit his lip. Iker nodded satisfied and went to sit in front of the TV, glancing at Fernando occasionally to make sure he hadn't moved and to enjoy the silent tears rolling down his cheeks._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting out of the house doesn't prove to be too difficult with Sergio and Maria by his side, even though Fernando's still looking around, expecting Iker to appear any moment. The real difficulty is facing his parents, to realize how much he hurt them, what a terrible son he is. 

Flori and José don't recover from shock for a long time. It's been almost a year since they last talked with their youngest son and even longer since they saw him. His mother can't find her place, running from the kitchen, where she's preparing various delicious dishes, to the living room, where Fernando is sitting. Whenever she looks at him, her eyes fill with tears and it makes Fernando feel incredibly guilty. His father is more reserved, but even he has to clear his throat once in a while to steady his voice. 

Fernando is dreading the moment they'll start asking about Iker and he doesn't have to wait for long for it. 

"Iker came to visit a few days ago," Mr. Torres says and Fernando jerks up, reaching for Sergio's hand blindly. 

"What did he want?" Maria spits out. 

"Asked about Fer, wanted to know Sergio's address. I didn't tell him your address, kid. Well, I didn't know it, but even if I did, I wouldn't. I never liked him." 

Fernando tenses and squeezes Sergio's hand tighter. 

"So what happened, Fer?" Mrs. Torres asks, returning from the kitchen, "Did you break up with Iker?" 

"I, uh..." 

"Yeah, he did," Sergio says firmly and everyone's head turns to him. Sergio smiles. "He left him." 

"It's wrong to say that I'm glad for that," Mrs. Torres says, "But, Nandito, he wasn't right for you. You almost abandoned you family because of him." 

"I'm sorry, mum," Fernando whispers. 

"We were so worried about you, you rarely called, didn't visit, didn't answer our calls," his mother continues in a trembling voice. 

Fernando shuts his eyes and involuntarily tries to curl up on himself, make himself smaller. 

"Let's not talk about it, mama," Maria says, "Fer is with us now, that's the most important thing." 

Fernando looks at her gratefully. His parents don't know much and they rightfully feel a little offended that their son has ignored him for long months. Guilt gnaws at his insides and he starts trembling, but Sergio puts his hand on his shoulder and Fernando relaxes. 

"Come on, get to the table," Mrs. Torres says, "You're probably hungry. Why are you so thin, Fernando? You're skin and bones." 

Fernando smiles. He's lucky his mother didn't see him ten days ago. "I'll eat now, mum," he smiles. 

They stay till the evening. Fernando's parents want him to stay for the night and he'd love to, but he's scared Iker will hurt also his parents if he comes and finds him here. 

"Fernando's got an important meeting tomorrow morning," Sergio tells José and Flori, "He has to see an English publisher about his comic book." 

Oh shit, Fernando has forgotten about that. His parents start questioning and he gratefully lets Sergio answer them. He's incredibly nervous. He doesn't even know the name of that publisher. He doesn't know what the hell he found in his drawings and what he's going to tell him. 

When all the questions end, he hugs his parents tightly and reluctantly leaves. 

They go to bed as soon as they get home, but Fernando can't sleep, turning endlessly from side to side until Sergio grabs his arm to stop him. 

"Sorry," Fernando says, "Did I wake you up?" 

"No, I wasn't sleeping," Sergio answers, "Nervous?" 

Fernando nods. 

"Why? It's just a meeting, Fer. Nothing is going to happen." 

"I don't want to go," Fernando murmurs. 

"Why?" 

"I just don't. Can you... Can you ask Xabi to cancel the meeting?" 

"No," Sergio snaps, "That guy is already in Madrid. He came to meet you." 

"I don't get what he would want from me," Fernando whispers, "My drawings aren't that good to fly from London to Madrid for them." 

"Who told you they aren't good?" Sergio asks, getting more and more irritated. 

Fernando looks away, tries to hide his face from Sergio. "I-I just know..." 

"It was Iker," Sergio says. 

It's not a question, so Fernando doesn't answer. 

"Fer, look at me," Sergio says and when Fernando doesn't, he grabs his chin and turns his head to face him. "When are you going to stop letting him control your life?" 

Fernando shakes his head free from Sergio's hand. "I don't want to get used to this. It isn't going to last. He won't allow it." His voice is barely audible, but it makes Sergio shake with rage. 

"Fucking stop it, Nando," he shouts. 

Fernando looks at him frightened. "S-sorry." 

"Stop apologizing," Sergio cries. 

"Sorry," Fernando says automatically and jerks away, "I didn't want to... Sorry, I mean, no, I'm not..." 

Sergio closes his face with his hands. He fucked up again and right before an important day for Fernando. He opens his eyes and looks at his friend. Fernando is trembling and doesn't meet his gaze. Sergio mentally kicks himself. Repeatedly. 

"Nando..." he says quietly. 

Fernando glances at him and quickly looks away. His breathing is quick and he flinches, when Sergio tries to touch him. 

"I'm so sorry," Sergio whispers, "I shouldn't have shouted at you. Nando, please, forgive me." 

He reaches for Fernando again. This time the other man doesn't shy away, but tenses. "I'm not going to hurt you," Sergio murmurs, "I'm not. I'll never do it. I'll never raise my voice again, Fer. I just got angry that you keep demeaning yourself and your talent." He pulls his friend to him and Fernando wraps his arms around his back. Sergio feels even more guilty that Fernando trusts him so much even after he shouted at him. "I won't let him hurt you," he promises, "Don't be scared of anything or anyone. I'll be there for you. Always. As long as you need me, I'll be by your side." He keeps rubbing Fernando's back gently until he relaxes. Then Sergio looks into his eyes. "Do you forgive me?" he asks. 

Fernando smiles and nods. Sergio kisses his cheek. "Do you believe me?" he whispers into his ear. 

"I do," Fernando says and Sergio feels a weight fall away from his heart. "You'll come with me tomorrow, right?" Fernando asks. 

"Sure," Sergio says, "I told you. If you need me, I'll be there." 

Fernando nods gratefully and presses his nose into Sergio's neck. "Thank you," he whispers. 

"Don't thank me, Fer," Sergio says. 

Fernando looks at him smiling, some traces of tears still in his eyes, and he's so close, his breath is burning Sergio's lips. He feels an overwhelming desire to kiss Fernando, to taste him again, but he's already fucked up once today and he doesn't want to repeat his mistake. So he kisses Fernando's cheek, a little closer to the lips than people usually do and then pulls back. "Let's sleep now, Nando," he says, "We have to get up early in the morning." 

"Okay," Fernando says, voice a little hoarse, and lies back, closing his eyes. He reaches for Sergio's hand again and intertwines their fingers. 

Fernando falls asleep within minutes after that, while Sergio doesn't manage to close his eyes for hours. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Fer?" Maria called, "Are you there?"_

_"No," Fernando groaned._

_Maria laughed and pushed the door open. "Sergio wanted to see you," she said, "I told him you're not home."_

_"Thanks," Fernando murmured and buried his head in the pillow again._

_Maria ruffled his hair. "Stop moping," she said._

_Fernando shooed her away, waving his hand._

_He was dozing off, when the door opened again. This time it was his father. Fernando groaned inwardly._

_"Son, are you alright?" he wondered._

_"Yeah," Fernando muttered, voice muffled by the pillow._

_Seemed like his father wasn't convinced, because he sat down on his son's bed and put his hand on his shoulder. "Fernando, look at me."_

_Fernando sighed and turned on his back. "Dad, I'm not a kid. I'm fine."_

_"No, you're still a kid, son, even if you think you're a grown-up. You're not yourself lately. Now tell me what happened."_

_"Nothing, dad, I'm fine. Really, I'm fine."_

_Mr. Torres sighed. "Why didn't you want to see Sergio?"_

_"I'll see him later," Fernando murmured._

_"Fer, is everything alright at school?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Does anyone... bother you?"_

_"No, dad."_

_"Is everyone comfortable with the fact that you..."_

_"Yeah, dad, don't worry, no one is bullying me. And those who try, get their response."_

_"Good. Well, then at least come down to have dinner with us. Your sister and brother are here today."_

_"I'm not hungry," Fernando mumbled, turning away, "Mari and Isra are here every day."_

_His father shook his head and went out. Fernando sighed relieved and hugged his pillow, hoping no one would disturb him. But not even a minute passed, when he heard a knock at his door again._

_"Nandito?" his mother called, "Come down, you're hungry."_

_"I'm not, mum," he said, hoping she would go away._

_"Do you feel bad, honey?" she asked, coming in._

_"No."_

_"Why won't you come down?"_

_"Mum, please, leave me alone."_

_"Fer, baby, tell me what's wrong, I'm your mother."_

_"Mum, everything's fine. I'm just tired and not hungry."_

_"Is it because of Sergio?"_

_"N-no."_

_"You didn't want to talk to him. Did you have a fight?"_

_"No, mum."_

_"You don't want to see him. What happened?"_

_"Mum, I'm fine," Fernando cried._

_"Okay," his mother said offended, "If you don't want to tell me..."_

_Fernando punched the pillow when she left. Why no one understood that he just wanted to be alone? He heard footsteps behind his door and rolled his eyes. His mother probably sent Israel to talk to him. Sure enough, the door was pushed open and his brother entered._

_"I'm fine," Fernando said immediately._

_Israel smiled. "I know."_

_"You can go," Fernando said._

_Israel sat on his bed. "I don't want to."_

_Fernando huffed in annoyance and sat up, pulling his legs to his chest._

_"You'd better tell him, you know?" Israel said._

_Fernando's head jolted up to him. "What are you talking about?"_

_"Sergio. You'd better tell him that you like him."_

_Fernando gaped and then blushed and lowered his head. "I don't," he muttered._

_"You do, Fer, I'm older than you and I've been through this," Israel said kindly._

_"You were in love with your male best friend, who wasn't into boys at all?" Fernando snapped._

_"Well, not like that..."_

_"Then you don't know," Fernando said, "I can't tell him. Nothing will ever be the same if I do. He doesn't like me back, I know that, and what if we stop being friends? I won't even be able to see him."_

_"But you refuse to see him now," Israel said._

_"No, it-it's not really because of that..."_

_"So shall I let him in now?"_

_"He's here?"_

_"Yeah, waiting downstairs."_

_Fernando closed his eyes. "Okay," he mumbled._

_Israel ruffled his hair and went out. A few seconds later Sergio banged the door open. "What's wrong with you?" he cried, plopping down on Fernando's bed._

_"Nothing, I just have a headache," Fernando lied._

_Sergio eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure? If someone hurt you, I'll beat the crap out of him."_

_Fernando smiled involuntarily. "No, I'm fine, Sergi, thanks."_

_"Good," Sergio said, sprawling on the bed, "So what have you decided?"_

_Fernando frowned and decided to play dumb. "What about?"_

_"About Lara's portrait. Will you do it?"_

_Fernando clenched his fists. "I don't know, I don't do portraits, Sergio," he mumbled._

_"You did mine," Sergio objected._

_"Well, it's-it's you..."_

_"Fer, please, do that for me. I promised Lara she will have her drawing. It's my chance, Nando. She's smoking hot and she can be mine. Help me, please. Please?"_

_Fernando gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. "Okay," he whispered, eyes closed._

_"You will do it?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Fernando didn't see Sergio, but imagined how his eyes started shining._

_"I love you, man," Sergio cried and placed a sloppy kiss on Fernando's cheek without noticing the shiver running down his spine. "I owe you. When I get together with Lara, I'll introduce you to her brother. I don't know if he's gay, but you can try."_

_Despite himself Fernando smiled. He opened his eyes, when he was sure that there wouldn't be anything close to tears, and looked at Sergio. He was practically shining with happiness. Fernando swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to find comfort in the fact that Sergio's happiness was partly down to him._


	15. Chapter 15

Sitting in Sergio's car in front of the café the Englishman is waiting for him, Fernando tries to subside the shaking of his hands. It's nothing to be scared of, he repeats in his head, it's just a meeting, nothing is going to happen. He fiddles with the sleeve of the shirt Sergio has lent him. 

"You ready, Fer?" Sergio asks. 

Fernando isn't, but nods anyway. 

"Then let's go," Sergio says, opening the doors. 

Fernando takes a deep breath and goes out. He can do it. If Sergio's with him, he can do it. Sergio won't let anything bad happen to him, he promised. 

They enter the café together. Sergio's got the publisher's number, but there is no need to call, because Fernando recognizes him. 

"Oh God," he whispers, "It's John." 

"Who?" Sergio asks, but Fernando doesn't answer, because John stands up and waves to them. 

"Hey, over here," he calls. 

Fernando and Sergio approach the table, where John is waiting for them grinning. 

"Hello, Nando," he says. 

"John," Fernando says, "Oh my God, I-I didn't know..." 

"I wanted to surprise you," John grins, "Come here, you..." 

He pulls Fernando into a hug. The younger man stiffens and lets out a relieved breath when John lets him go. Sergio touches his arm lightly and Fernando relaxes under his touch as always. 

"T-this is Sergio, my friend," he tells the Englishman, "Sergio, this is John, we worked together." 

John and Sergio shake hands and sit down. If John finds Sergio's presence at their meeting strange, he doesn't let it show. 

"I'm so happy to see you, kid," he says, "You've changed. How you've been?" 

"Fine," Fernando mumbles, looking away, "You?" 

"Great as you see. Business is going well. What do you do? I've heard you left Rafa," John laughs, "Couldn't believe it when Frank told me." 

Fernando squirms in his seat. "Yeah, I... I'm not doing anything... in particular..." 

"Yeah, you're probably focused on the comic book, right? I haven't seen everything, just what you've sent me, but, wow, Nando. Incredible." 

Fernando dares to look up. "You-you like it?" he asks unsure. 

"Sure," John answers, "Why would I leave everything and come here if I didn't?" 

Fernando smiles self-consciously and shrugs. 

"When Stevie sent the drawings to me, he didn't tell me the name of the author," John goes on, "He just said that his friend from Spain asked to check them out. But I immediately understood it's you. It's totally your style. Sure, the lines got sharper and the themes seemed surprisingly dark, but it was still you. I asked Stevie to find out who the author is, though I was sure of it, and he confirmed my guess. So I decided to come and see you myself, Nando. I couldn't lose this opportunity. I always knew you're talented, but this is something else." 

Fernando reddens. "Thanks," he mumbles. 

"You'll thank me, when we get this published and you make shitloads of money," John laughs. 

Fernando blinks. "You really want to publish that?" 

John shrugs. "Of course, Nando, that's why I'm here." 

Sergio reaches for Fernando's hand under the table. 

"I-I don't even know what to say, John," Fernando whispers. 

"Don't have to say anything, kid. Better go pack up. London is waiting for you." 

Fernando inhales sharply. Sergio gently squeezes his fingers. "London?" Fernando breathes. 

"Yeah, you'll work on those drawings with my guys for a couple of months. Don't worry, I'll be paying for your stay," John winks. 

"I-I don't know... I don't think I..." 

"Fer," Sergio says gently, "You can do it." 

John looks at them confused. "Uh, is everything alright, Nando?" he asks after Fernando takes a few shuddering breaths. 

Fernando nods. "Y-yeah, sorry." 

"So you're coming to London, right?" 

Fernando swallows. "When?" 

"In a week or two, I think, I'll let you know," John says. 

"Sure he's coming," Sergio says. 

John looks at him and grins slowly. Then he leans forward and whispers, "I'll buy two tickets if you want." 

Fernando blushes and lowers his head and John laughs quietly. "No, I see you haven't changed that much," he says, "So you broke up with your hot boyfriend and got yourself a hotter one?" 

Fernando pales and shakes his head frantically. "N-no... We-I... No..." 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy," John says surprised. 

Fernando is shivering and John sits back, looks at Sergio, trying to understand what's going on. 

"Fer?" Sergio whispers, putting his hand on his nape. 

Fernando takes a deep breath and looks at John. "I'm sorry," he says, obviously trying to steady his voice, "I'm just-just... excited." 

"It's fine, kiddo," John smiles. 

They talk about the comic book some more and John leaves, telling them that he's got another meeting and taking Fernando's (Sergio's) number. 

"Fer, are you okay?" Sergio asks quietly. 

Fernando shakes his head. "I can't go to London," he whispers, "I can't, Sergi. Please don't make me." 

He's shaking badly, but he doesn't care. He can barely go out of the house and only with Sergio. How is he supposed to go to London all alone? 

"No one is making you, Nando," Sergio says, "It's just a great opportunity for you. But I told you once no one can make you do what you don't want to do." 

Fernando nods gratefully and suddenly hugs Sergio tightly. "I'm just scared," he admits quietly and squeezes his eyes shut. 

Sergio caresses his hair. "I'll come with you if you want," he whispers. 

Fernando pulls back and looks at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. "You can't, Sergio. Your life is here. What about your work?" he says. 

Sergio shrugs. "I wanted to leave it anyway, I just needed a reason. There are other stations who'd kill to have me." He looks into Fernando's eyes. "Will you go if I come with you?" he asks. 

Fernando bites his lip and nods slowly. 

Sergio smiles. "Then decided," he says and laughs, pulling Fernando to him again, "From this moment I'm your agent." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando took the phone and sighed. Iker told him that he shouldn't call Sergio, should wait until he called himself, but Fernando wasn't sure it was the right way. Sure, Iker wanted the best for him, but he didn't know Sergio as well as Fernando did._

_Sergio was probably suffering, but he didn't want to spoil his friend's happiness. Fernando realized that, but he missed him so much. He hadn't seen him for so long. He didn't meet also the other guys as frequently as before, but Sergio had been missing for an eternity. If only he'd told Fernando sooner about his feelings, if only Fernando had known that Sergio loved him, if only Sergio had fallen in love with him when Fernando himself was mad about him._

_He shook his head. Now it was too late, they'd missed their chance. Now Fernando had Iker and he was happy with him. The only thing he wanted was for Sergio to be happy too. Fernando felt guilty, because he knew he was the reason of Sergio's pain, but he couldn't do anything. It was too late..._

_He made up his mind and dialed Sergio's number. He waited for a minute, but there was no answer. Fernando sighed and threw the phone away. Iker was right as always, Sergio didn't want to talk to him. Maybe it was really better this way? Maybe he should give Sergio more time? It pained him not to see his friend, but if this was the best solution, he would do it._

_"Daydreaming about your boyfriend, Nando?" he heard._

_Looking up, he saw John standing next to his desk with a cup of coffee._

_He shook his head. "No, I …"_

_John laughed. "Don't get so embarrassed about that, kid."_

_"I'm not," Fernando muttered, "I just wasn't daydreaming about my boyfriend, okay? I was thinking about my friend."_

_"Well, as long as it's not _my_ boyfriend you're daydreaming about," John grinned. _

_Fernando rolled his eyes. "You wish."_

_"Oooh, when did you get so cheeky?" John snorted._

_"I was always like this, you were just too busy making fun of me to notice," Fernando answered._

_"Making fun? It's the truth, Nando. Who doesn't know the boss loves you?"_

_"Well, I'm irresistible like that," Fernando shrugged._

_"Yeah, your Bambi eyes melted even my heart," John laughed, "Though I don't think Rafa loves you for your eyes."_

_"Oh, thank you for mentioning that," Fernando said._

_"Okay, Nando, don't fish for compliments," John said, "You know that no one here doubts your talent."_

_Fernando blushed. "Thanks."_

_John smiled good-naturedly and then sat on Fernando's desk. "Actually I've come here for work not just for chatting with you," he said, "How's going that Estrella Damm project?"_

_"Oh that?" Fernando said, "I've finished that one. Look."_

_"Nice," John said, "Yeah, I like this one. Awesome idea. Did you send it to Rafa?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I think he'll love it," John said, "Okay, you can go back to daydreaming about your hot boyfriend."_

_"I wasn't daydreaming," Fernando frowned._

_"Oh, you were reminiscing," John looked scandalized, "Okay, I don't want to know anything."_

_Fernando just laughed and went back to his work, his mind returning to Sergio from time to time. At the end of the working day he tried to call Sergio again and got no answer._

_"Okay, if you want it this way, we'll do it this way," Fernando muttered._

_When he got home, Iker was already there. "Why are you late?" he asked without even saying hello._

_"Sorry, had lot of work to do," Fernando said._

_"That job will kill you one day, baby," Iker said calmer, "You should leave it. It's driving us apart."_

_Fernando just sighed and slumped down the couch._

_"What's wrong?" Iker asked._

_"Nothing," Fernando mumbled._

_"You didn't even argue with me, when I said you should leave your job. Something happened?"_

_Fernando hesitated for a second and then said, "I called Sergio today."_

_"Why?" Iker snarled._

_Fernando looked at him startled._

_"Sorry, baby," Iker said, "I think we decided you weren't going to call him."_

_"Yeah, I know, but I couldn't resist. Anyway, he didn't answer."_

_Iker seemed relieved, but Fernando didn't pay attention. He slid down the couch and put his head in Iker's lap. The older man caressed his hair and put a brief kiss on his lips. "I hate that he makes you sad, baby," he said, tightening his grip around Fernando's hair._

_"I'm not sad as long as I have you," Fernando smiled and pulled Iker's head lower for another kiss._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Fer, wake up, sleepy-head, it's late," Sergio says, gently shaking Fernando. 

Fernando jolts up abruptly and looks around for a few seconds without seeing anything. "Sergio?" he whispers. 

"Yeah, it's me," Sergio smiles. 

Fernando starts breathing again. Every morning he wakes up thinking for a few seconds that he's back to Iker and is going to be punished for running away. Only when he hears Sergio's voice, the fast beating of his heart slows down. 

"I made breakfast," Sergio says, "And I have news for you." 

Fernando gasps. His mind is immediately flooded with the images of his last nightmare, where Sergio told him that he's tired of him and is giving him back to Iker. He stares imploringly at Sergio. 

"John called me," Sergio says and Fernando lets out a breath of relief. 

Sergio looks at him smiling for a few seconds and then cries, "We're going to London in a week!" 

"Really?" Fernando says, laughing when Sergio tackles him and they both fall on the bed. Then he turns serious. "You're coming too, right?" 

"Sure, I'm your agent," Sergio grins, "Okay, let's get up, have breakfast and then I have to go to grocery shopping. Wanna come with me?" 

"You want me to come with you to grocery shopping?" Fernando asks surprised. 

"Why not?" 

"But why?" 

"Don't know, to help me buy stuff." 

"Okay," Fernando says breathlessly. 

It's been many months since Fernando last went to buy something. Maybe even a year, maybe more. Last time he forgot to buy cigarettes for Iker and was forbidden to do it anymore. Iker was mad, Iker was so mad and he told Fernando he was incapable of doing a simple thing properly, because he was an idiot. But now he's here with Sergio, who probably doesn't know that he's totally useless. He'll just trail after Sergio and try not to disturb him. 

But soon he finds himself in front of the boxes of cereals, trying to decide which one will be good for tomorrow's breakfast. He's so absorbed in his thoughts, that he notices that someone has crept up behind him only when he hears his voice. 

"Hello, baby." 

Fernando jumps up and turns around. Oh God, no, God, please, no. Iker is standing in front of him with a few days stubble and a tired look. But there is something mad in his eyes and Fernando involuntarily stumbles back. 

Iker grasps his arm. "Oh no," he hisses, "You're coming with me." 

Fernando's heart is beating loudly. He looks around, trying to find Sergio, and Iker laughs. 

"Your knight in shining armors isn't here," he smirks and when Fernando tries to pull his arm away, growls, "I said you're coming with me, slut." 

And just like that Fernando understands that it's over. He doesn't protest when Iker drags him out and throws him into his car. He always knew this would happen one day, he was waiting for it. But all the same he can't help looking around, searching a sign of Sergio. 

"He's not coming for you," Iker says, starting off the car, "He just wants to get rid of you. It's him who told me that you'd be here. He wanted me to come and take you back to where you belong." 

Fernando takes a sharp breath and shakes his head. 

Iker laughs. "How could I know where you would be? He told me. He's tired of you, baby. I told you he'd throw you out one day, didn't I?" 

"No," Fernando whispers, "You're lying." 

Iker stops the car. "What did you say?" he growls. 

Fernando gasps. "N-nothing, I'm sorry." 

Iker slaps him with the back of his hand so hard that Fernando's nose starts bleeding. He yanks at the younger man's hair and pulls down. "You need to be taught your place again," he says. 

Fernando nods just so Iker will stop looking into his eyes that way, like he can see everything that's going on in his mind. 

Iker shoves him aside and starts the car again. Fernando's head hits the window, the blood from his nose smearing on the glass. 

"I'll make sure you remember who you are, bitch," Iker promises. 

Fernando knows he will. He shouldn't have forgotten it in the first place. He knew it was a bad idea to go with Sergio. He knew it would end like this and he still did it. He deserves what's going to come. How could he hope that he'd be happy with Sergio? Tears stream down his face when he thinks that Sergio handed him to Iker. No, no, no, it can't be true. Sergio promised, Sergio promised he wouldn't. 

He can't hold back the sob that's breaking out from his chest and Iker looks at him sneering. 

"You're going to cry bloody tears, Fernando, when I'm done with you," he hisses and when Fernando just sobs louder, adds with mock gentleness, "Oh, you know you deserve to be punished, baby, don't you?" 

Fernando doesn't say anything. 

"Don't you?" Iker snarls. 

"Yes," Fernando whispers, "Yes." 

"Good boy," Iker brings his hand, caresses his hair and suddenly pulls at it with all his might. 

Fernando cries out and Iker laughs. "Oh, don't worry, baby, everything will be fine, I promise. We're going to leave. We'll be far, far away from here. No one will find us. Ever." 

Fernando is sobbing quietly. He will never see Sergio again. He will never see his friends, his parents, his sister, his brother. He was going to meet Israel the day after tomorrow. 

"But first I'm going to punish you, of course," Iker says. 

"Iker, please..." Fernando begs, more by force of habit than anything else. 

"What?" Iker snaps, "Please what, slut? I'm not going to let you go and I'm not going to pretend you didn't betray me. You know what I'm going to do with you? Answer me, do you know?" 

"No, no..." 

"I'll tell you," Iker hisses, "I'm going to tie you up and throw you in the closet and you're going to spend your whole day there. I'll take you out just to fuck you and feed you once a day, so you won't die, though whores like you deserve it." 

Fernando can't breathe from horror. "No, please, Iker," he whispers, "I won't ever... I'll be good, I swear. Just, just not that, please, just... Please." 

Iker pushes the brakes again and turns to Fernando. "Shut the fuck up," he snarls, "I'm going to do it and you're going to take it. If you didn't want it, you shouldn't have whored around with fucking Sergio." 

"I s-swear..." 

Iker slaps him. "I said shut the fuck up, bitch." 

Fernando's hand flies to his cheek. Iker glances at him scornfully and drives on. Fernando is shaking. Iker is going to tie him up in a closet. Fernando knows what it means. Once he spent four days tied up in the bathroom without food and water and by the end of the fourth day he was nearly delirious. Fernando still remembers the despair and the fear and the hope that this would be over every time Iker came in to check on him. 

"You'll spend a few months like this until you understand who you belong to," Iker says calmly. 

Fernando sobs louder and shakes his head, but is scared to say even a word. He wants this to be a nightmare. He wants to wake up and see Sergio again. He wants Sergio. He's not going to see Sergio ever again. For some reason it's the most painful idea. 

"You're mine," Iker growls, "You're only mine. You belong to me. Mine, just mine." 

He seems totally out of control and it scares Fernando to death. He closes his eyes and prays to all the saints not to let Iker kill him. Though maybe it will be better if he does. Just thinking about spending months (oh God, months) tied up in a closet makes Fernando feel like he's suffocating. 

Iker stops the car again. "Here we are, baby," he says. 

Fernando opens his eyes and looks out of the window. They are in front of their house. 

"We'll take a few things and leave, baby," Iker says and then turns to Fernando and captures his lips in a fierce kiss. 

He bites down on his lips and Fernando trashes, trying to push him away, but Iker yanks at his hair and Fernando stills, lets him pierce his lips. When he shoves Fernando away, the younger man feels the taste of blood in his mouth. He just hopes to die from blood loss. It's better than what's waiting for him. 

"Get out," Iker hisses. 

Fernando quickly complies, wiping his mouth. His knees are shaking and walking to the house, he feels like he's walking to his death. Iker is behind him, pushing him to make him walk faster. Fernando is trying, but his legs don't obey him. And then Iker suddenly falls down and exactly at that moment Fernando hears someone shouting his name. He turns back. 

"Nando," Sergio cries, "Come here." 

"Don't you fucking dare to move," Iker snarls. 

Sergio kicks him. "Let's go, Nando," he says. 

Fernando stays where he is. Iker sneers and tries to get up. Sergio kicks him again. "Fer, let's go or I'll fucking kill him," he hisses. 

He can't kill him, Fernando knows that. Iker will get his revenge, whatever it takes him, he'll hurt Sergio and it will be only Fernando's fault. 

"Come here, baby," Iker says, sitting up slowly, "Let's go home." 

"Fer," Sergio says, "You don't have to go with him. Come with me." 

"I won't punish you," Iker says, "I promise. I forgive you, baby. But if you don't come with me I'm going to find you and your little friend and I'll make you watch him suffer." 

Fernando takes in a sharp breath. He knows it's no joke, he knows Iker will do it. He moves to Iker a little, but right at that moment Sergio jumps on him and starts delivering punch after punch. Fernando freezes for a few seconds and then hugs Sergio from behind, trying to pull him back. 

"Stop it, Sergi, please, stop it," he cries. 

It will just get worse. Sergio is just making it worse for both of them. 

Iker knees Sergio in the stomach and the younger man rolls over, curling up in pain. Iker straddles him and starts hitting wherever he can reach. Fernando sees how the blood is flowing from Sergio's nose and he can't take it anymore. 

"Iker, stop," he cries, pulling him back by the shoulder, "Please, Iker, please, don't do it. I'll come with you. Let's go home, please, leave him alone." 

Iker stops punching Sergio and looks at Fernando. It's enough for Sergio to push him away and close his hands around Iker's throat. 

"Get in the car, Fer," he cries. 

"No, let him go." 

How doesn't Sergio understand? He's just making it worse. Iker will never forgive him for this. 

"If you get in the car, I'll let him go," Sergio says. 

Fernando lets out a choked sob. What should he do? Why do they put him in front of a choice? Iker is almost purple now. If Fernando goes with Sergio, Iker will find them again and... Fernando's vision goes blurry just thinking what will happen then. But if he goes with Iker... He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to go with Iker. He has to make up his mind quickly. It's Iker being strangled now and if he goes with Sergio, maybe, maybe they can hide for a week and then they'll go to London. Maybe Iker won't find them there. It's a small chance, but Fernando doesn't see another way. Also he really, really wants to go with Sergio. 

"Let him go, I'll come with you," he whispers. 

Sergio punches Iker, gets up and stumbles to the car, taking Fernando's hand. Someone has probably already called the police, so they better get the hell out of here. 

"You won't get far," Iker wheezes, "I'll find you. I'll find you anywhere." 

Fernando almost turns back, but Sergio gently pushes him into the car, gets in himself and drives away. Fernando takes his face into his palms, sobbing quietly, and Sergio wants to reach to him and embrace him, but they don't have time. Only when they are next to his building, Sergio finally parks the car and turns to Fernando. He pulls his friend to him and Fernando accepts the hug gratefully, clutching at Sergio's shirt, trembling. 

"Did he hurt you a lot?" Sergio whispers. 

Fernando shakes his head. "I can't escape him," he breathes out, "I should go to him myself, then he won't hurt you." 

Sergio almost screams from frustration, but holds it back. "Nando, we're leaving for London soon," he says gently, "He won't find us there." 

He sighs relieved when Fernando nods, hoping that in London, away from Iker, he'll be able to recover quicker. 

"He-he said you told him to come and take me," Fernando whispers. 

Sergio clenches his fists. The fucker probably followed them. "Fer, I'd never want to stay away from you again," he says. 

Fernando pulls back and looks into his eyes. "Really?" 

Sergio nods. Fernando is looking at him curiously, his face is so close to Sergio's. Their gazes meet and for a second Sergio thinks Fernando is going to kiss him. He wouldn't mind it even if they both are bloodied. But then Fernando takes a deep breath and hugs Sergio again. "Thank you," he whispers into Sergio's ear. 

Sergio shivers and pulls Fernando closer. He promises to himself to never let him go again. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"I feel like I'm fourteen years old," Fernando muttered, crossing his arms on his chest._

_"It's not like you look much older," Sergio grinned, earning Fernando's glare._

_"And you don't behave older," Fernando said, "Why the hell do you have to meet with that guy?_

_"Look, Nando, it's not like I dragged you with me. It was you who insisted on coming with me."_

_"Well, I couldn't leave you go alone, could I?"_

_"But promise you're not going to get out of the car," Sergio asked, "I don't want to look like a coward."_

_"Okay, I'll stay here, don't worry. But I still don't like this. I don't know what that guy wants from you."_

_"He wants me to leave Pilar alone, because he likes her too," Sergio said dismissively, "But I'm going to fight for her."_

_Fernando rolled his eyes. "Remind me how old you are."_

_"Shut up," Sergio muttered._

_"Seriously, Sergio, you're legally an adult for already a couple of years, but you still set up dates to 'fight' for a girl," Fernando laughed._

_"It's not me, it's him," Sergio objected, "He said we have to talk somewhere private."_

_"Yeah, and by private he meant an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city," Fernando said, "All the dark affairs happen in places like this in the movies, Sergio. I'm starting to get worried. Where is your Roberto?"_

_"I don't know," Sergio shrugged, "He should have been here."_

_"Good thing I took my Swiss knife with me," Fernando said._

_Sergio snorted. "I think you watch too much television, Fer," he said, "Oh, here he is. I'm going out. Don't want that idiot to see that I've come with a babysitter."_

_Fernando wanted to nudge him, but Sergio quickly evaded, stuck out his tongue and went out. Fernando watched how he approached the guy and they together disappeared behind the building. He shook his head. It would be so much better if Sergio just forgot about that Pilar (or about all the girls and fell for Fernando. No, no, he had decided he'd forget Sergio. They are just friends, just friends). Fernando took out his notebook to continue the sketch he'd started in the morning._

_After a while he looked at his watch. Fifteen minutes had passed, but Sergio hadn't returned. Fernando shifted in his seat and peered outside. What was there to talk for so long? He decided to wait for another five minutes and then go after him. After three minutes he got out of the car. This was weird. Sergio should have been back by now. He felt up the Swiss knife in his pocket, then laughed at himself and went to the building._

_He hadn't reached it yet, when he heard unmistakable cries of pain. His blood froze in his veins and he launched forward. Turning around the corner of the warehouse, he stopped for a second, because there were two guys kicking Sergio curled up on the ground._

_Later Fernando didn't even remember how he ran to them and started punching, kicking and even biting them. The guys were probably shocked by his ferocity, because they staggered back and then ran for their lives, when Fernando took out the Swiss knife and snarled at them to fuck off._

_As soon as they were out of his sight, Fernando kneeled next to Sergio. "Sergi, Sergi, are you okay? Do you hear me?"_

_Sergio just groaned and whimpered when Fernando turned him on his back. His face was all bloody and his right eye was swollen._

_"Fuck," Fernando swore, "I knew it was a bad idea."_

_"T-they were in two, I didn't know..." Sergio choked out._

_"Shh, don't talk, Sergio," Fernando said, trying to wipe the blood off his face gently, "I'll try to pull you up. We have to get to the car and then I'll take you to the hospital."_

_"Thanks," Sergio whispered._

_Fernando somehow carried him to the car. Thankfully Sergio didn’t seem to have serious injuries. He looked much worse than he really was. The doctors at the hospital confirmed that and after treating his wounds let him go. Fernando stayed with him and then took him home, fighting with the urge to tell him 'I told you so'._

_"Won't you stay with me tonight?" Sergio asked, when Fernando got up to go._

_He seemed really down and even though Fernando knew that staying with him meant sleeping with him, and sleeping with him meant breaking his promise that he was going to forget him, and breaking the promise meant new sufferings. But he couldn't say no. He could never say no to Sergio and especially now, when he looked like a beaten puppy._

_"Okay," he said and cringed, when Sergio tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace of pain._

_"Come here," Sergio said and moved aside._

_Fernando rolled his eyes and holding back a sigh, got into the bed._


	16. Chapter 16

The knock at the door startles Fernando and he turns back frightened to see John standing at the door with raised brows. 

"What are you still doing here?" the Englishman asks. 

"I-I'm working on-on-on... I'm just..." 

"Nando," John raises his hand, "Calm down. I was just surprised you're still here at this hour." 

"W-what hour?" He glances at his watch and gasps, seeing that it's nearing midnight. "Damn, I-I haven't even noticed..." 

How could this happen? Sergio must have called him twenty times. He grabs his phone. Three missed calls from Sergio. 

"Oh, Nando, you haven't changed," John laughs, coming forward. 

Fernando immediately tenses. He's still having troubles adapting to London, to his new job, to the feeling of being useful for something and being alone with people outside of his family and his close circle of friends makes him uncomfortable. John must have noticed it, because he sits down as far from Fernando as possible. 

The younger man blushes. John's been nothing but kind with him. Fernando doesn't know how much Sergio's told the Englishman about him, but he's given him a separate room and doesn't mind his stupid mood swings. 

"I wouldn't even know you were here if Sergio hadn't called me," John smiles, "You know, checking your phone isn't forbidden here." 

"I know, s-sorry," Fernando stammers and blushes again. Why the hell is he apologizing? 

"Do you need a ride home?" John asks. 

"Yes, thank you," Fernando says after a second of hesitation. Better John than a random cab driver. 

He doesn't call Sergio on the way home partially because he'd feel embarrassed to talk to him with John present, partially because he's scared of what he's going to say. Sergio's always so attentive to him and he goes and fucks up like this. Iker was right about him - he always fucks everything up. No! He shouldn't think that way. Sergio and Dr. Esposito say that it's not the right way of thinking, but on days like this he can't help it. 

"Fernando?" John says, "Hey!" 

"Y-yeah?" Fernando stammers. 

"I said we're there," John smiles. 

"A-already?" 

"Yeah, you just zoned out." 

"Sorry," Fernando mumbles. 

"That's fine, you're tired," John says. 

Fernando thanks him and fishes out his key, opening the door as quietly as possible. But it makes no difference, because Sergio is sitting in front of the TV in the living room and jumps up as soon as Fernando enters. 

The older man freezes in his place and stares at his feet. 

"I'm sorry, Sergi," he murmurs, "I d-didn't notice it was late. I'd forgotten my phone was switched off. I-I was working and didn't..." 

"Yeah, I know, Nando," Sergio says light-heartedly, "I know how you are when you're working. I just wanted to know if you'd need a ride, that's why I called John." 

Fernando dares to look up. Sergio is smiling and the older man blinks in surprise. 

"You aren't mad?" he asks. 

"You're a big boy, Fer, aren't you?" Sergio says, "You can come home whenever you want. You know that, right?" 

"You say that because you think so or because Dr. Esposito told you to say that?" Fernando blurts out. 

"I think so," Sergio says seriously, looking into Fernando's eyes, "Sure, I'd like to if you answered my calls sometimes..." 

"Sorry," Fernando says quickly. 

"It's fine," Sergio says with such a disarming smile that Fernando feels all tension leave him. 

Instead the tiredness and stress of the day hit him with a force and he sways on his feet, closing his eyes. 

"Fer, are you okay?" Sergio asks. 

His fingers touch Fernando's cheek and the other man suddenly wants to lean into his touch so badly, but forces himself to stay still. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says, because he is, "Just tired." 

"Then let's put you to bed," Sergio says. 

He helps Fernando take off his clothes and put on his pajamas. He would even brush his teeth for him if Fernando let him. Then he puts a kiss on his cheek and turns to leave when Fernando grabs his hand. 

"Sergi," he whispers, "Thank you." 

"You don't need to thank me, Nando." 

"No, I... I do. For everything you're doing for me, for-for just being you, for being here. You left your life in Madrid to come with me, you left your job, Sergio." 

"By the way about my job," Sergio says, sighing, "I wanted to tell you tomorrow, but as we've started this, might as well say it now. I got a reply from Cadena SER. A positive one. They want me and my program." 

"Really?" Fernando exclaims, his tiredness forgotten, "It's amazing, Sergi! Why aren't you excited?" 

Sergio looks away. "I'll probably need to go back to Spain for a while," he mumbles. "Not right now," he adds quickly, feeling Fernando tense, "I'll be here at least for a month. I'm sorry, Fer. If you think you can't make it, just tell me and I'll cancel it. Just tell me..." 

"No," Fernando interrupts, "You should go. You can't miss this opportunity, Sergio. Don't worry about me, I'm a big boy, right?" 

"Right," Sergio nods. 

"But tonight you'll still stay with me until I fall asleep, won't you?" Fernando smiles, "It won't take long." 

"Sure I will," Sergio says. 

He takes Fernando's hand and starts caressing it with his thumb, smiling when he sees the older man relax and surrender to sleep. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando was laughing at the jokes Israel told and stuffing himself with the delicious cooking of his mother. Everything would be perfect if not for the little worry in a corner of his heart. He kept telling himself that Iker didn't mind that he'd visited his parents, there wouldn't be any consequences, he hadn't even called him so far. Wait, hadn't called? Fernando felt up his pockets, searching for his phone._

_"Where is my phone?" he wondered aloud, not finding it._

_"Don't tell me you've lost it again," his mother frowned._

_"No, I must have left it in my coat pocket," Fernando said, almost running to the hall._

_His phone was really there, switched off, and when he turned it on and, he saw that he had eleven missed calls from Iker._

_Fernando cursed under his breath, frantically tapping the call back button. Iker picked up right after the first ring._

_"Where the fuck are you?" he roared in place of hello, "Do you know how worried I was? Do you even think about me? Do you remember that I exist in your life?"_

_"Iker, what-what are you talking about?" Fernando said, "You knew I was going to visit my family. I asked you to come with me, but you refused. I'm at my parents' house. Why were you so worried?"_

_"Last time you got mugged on the way to your parents' house."_

_"I just lost my wallet."_

_"Isn't it a reason enough to worry about you? You're so impractical. You always make me worry about you and don't even feel bad about it."_

_"Sorry, love, I didn't want to make you worry," Fernando whispered, "You told me yesterday to switch off my phone and then I forgot to turn it on. I'm so sorry."_

_"Do you expect me to believe that?"_

_"Y-yes, that's what happened."_

_"You want me to believe that you're at your parents'?"_

_"Yes, Iker, why would I lie to you?" Fernando said, taken aback._

_"How do I know you're not cheating on me with some whores right now?" Iker hissed._

_Fernando's cheeks heated up. "I can't believe you'd think that about me," he choked out._

_"Pass the phone to your sister," Iker said._

_"What?"_

_"You say you're visiting your family. Give the phone to your sister to prove it."_

_"Iker..."_

_"Give. The phone. To Mari."_

_"Okay," Fernando whispered._

_He took a deep breath and tried to make himself look happy before returning to his family._

_"Iker wants to talk to you," he told his sister with a forced smile._

_Maria raised her eyebrows in surprise, but took the phone._

_"Hello? Hi, Iker. How are... Yeah. Yeah, we're at our parents'. Sure he's here, you just talked to him, didn't you? No, he was here all the time. What does this even mean? What kind of question is that? Fine!" She threw the phone on the table. "Fer, he wants to talk to you."_

_Fernando quickly took the phone and went to the far corner of the room._

_"Happy now?" he whispered angrily._

_"She didn't sound like Mari," Iker said._

_"What?"_

_"She didn't sound like your sister. How do I know it's not a whore you're fucking?"_

_"Iker!" Fernando hissed, "Don't you..."_

_"I want to talk to your mother."_

_"Iker, please..."_

_"Give the phone to her or it'll be worse."_

_Fernando didn't know how it could get worse than this, but he handed the phone to his mother wordlessly._

_"Hello, Iker," she said, "We expected... Yes, we're at home. Yeah, where else would he be? Yes, why are you asking? Look, Iker, my Fernando is as honest as it gets and you shouldn't... Hello. Hey!" She put the phone down. "He hang up on me."_

_"Fer, what's going on?" José asked._

_Before Fernando answer, his phone started ringing again and he grabbed it, bolting out of the room._

_"What did you tell my mum?" he asked._

_"None of your business," Iker answered, "Give the phone to your father."_

_"What? Aren't you convinced yet that I'm with my family?"_

_"No. Give the phone to José."_

_"No! That's enough."_

_"Give the phone to your father or forget about me," Iker said calmly._

_Fernando gasped. "Iker, don't do this to me," he pleaded._

_"I'm not doing anything. It's you," Iker said, "Remember why this started, Fernando, remember whose fault it is."_

_"I told you I'm sorry," Fernando murmured, "Why can't you trust me a little?"_

_"Trust you? Wasn't it you who told me he was going to visit his family and went to the bar to get wasted with his co-workers?"_

_Fernando closed his eyes and leaned on the wall. "I apologized for that. I didn't tell you only because I knew you'd get jealous."_

_"Do you see now that I've got no reason to trust you? Give the phone to your father."_

_"Iker, please..."_

_"Now!"_

_Fernando rubbed his eyes and went back to the living room._

_"He wants to talk to you, dad," he told his father, his cheeks burning crimson._

_But before José could say a word, Israel snatched the phone away._

_"Listen to me, you bastard!" he snarled, "What do you want from my brother? You should thank the heavens every day that he even looks at you, because you don't deserve him. You never did and never will."_

_"Isra, stop, please," Fernando cried, his eyes widening, but Israel ignored him._

_"Now shut up and listen here," he shouted, "I'm going to kill you if you treat him this way once more. You cost him his job, isolated him from his friends and now you want to take him away from his family? I won't allow it, do you hear me? Fer is going to stay here tonight and you're going to deal with it. Yes! We'll see it yet!"_

_He threw the phone away and slammed his fist on the table._

_"What did you do?" Fernando whispered horrified, "Why? Why did you do it? Who gave you the right to do it?"_

_"He had it coming, Fer," Israel said, "I couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't see how he was ridiculing you. Someone had to put him in his place."_

_"Not you!" Fernando cried, "It's my personal life! I can deal with it! That's my business, not yours. You had no right!"_

_"Boys, boys, please stop it," Flori said._

_Fernando threw a dirty look at his brother, thrust the phone in his pocket and ran to the hall to grab his coat._

_"Where are you going?" Israel asked._

_"Home," Fernando spat._

_"Fer, please, you came just two hours ago," his mother pleaded, "Stay some more. We miss you."_

_"I can't," Fernando said, "I have to go."_

_"No," Israel said, "I told him you're going to stay here for the night and you will."_

_"I won't!" Fernando shouted, "I'm going home and you won't stop me."_

_"That's your gratitude for defending you?" Israel cried._

_"I don't need you to defend me against my boyfriend!"_

_"Fernando, if you leave, it means you're choosing him over me, over your family."_

_"Think what you will, I don't care," Fernando said and banged the door shut, leaving his heartbroken family behind him._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando puts on his jacket, takes his notebooks and goes to the door. He brings his hand to open it, but then retreats it. Rolling his eyes, he tries again, but with the same result. He clenches and unclenches his fists, takes a deep breath and opens the door, but immediately closes it again. His heart is beating fast and he just can't make himself go out. He waits until his breathing evens out and gives it another try. This time he even manages to peer outside, but nothing more. He slams it shut again. His hands are trembling and he slides down the door, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the dizziness. He feels like he can't breathe. His chest feels heavy and his eyes fill with angry tears at his own helplessness. 

He tries to breathe in and out and calm down. Think of something good, he tells himself. Sergio. His mind immediately flies to Sergio and he blindly reaches for his phone, feeling up the screen with trembling fingers. 

"Hello, Nando." The Sevillan's voice is calm and cheerful and Fernando takes a deep breath, feeling how his heart speeds up again, but for a totally different reason. 

"Sergi," he whispers, "Hey." 

"Is everything alright, Fer?" Sergio asks worried, "You sound weird." 

"No, I… I'm fine. You?" 

"I'm great. Just making a quick breakfast. I have to go out in an hour. What are you doing?" 

"I-I have an appointment with Dr. Esposito, then I'm going to John's studio." 

"Are you out now?" 

"N-no, I…" Fernando rubs his face, "Sergio… I'm still at home, but…" 

"Nando, what's wrong?" 

"I can't go out," Fernando mumbles. 

"Why?" 

"I don't know." 

Sergio sighs. Fernando digs his nails in his palms, blinking back the tears. "I'm sorry," he says. 

"Nando, stop it. I know you're scared. It's fine. It's natural." 

Fernando shakes his head, even though Sergio can't see it. He knows it's not natural. It's pathetic. It's irrational. But he can't help it. What if Iker is there waiting for him? What if he's behind the door or on the street? 

"Where are you now?" Sergio asks. 

"In front of the door," Fernando answers quietly, "The cab is waiting for me, but I-I can't..." 

"What if we do it together, Fer?" Sergio says, "I'll stay with you until you get to Dr. Esposito's. I'll stay on the phone, okay?" 

Fernando nods and then says, "Y-yeah, okay." 

Sergio takes a deep breath. "Well, now get up of the floor." 

Fernando smiles. He feels so much better now. "Did it," he says, standing up. 

"Great. Now put your hand on the handle and open the door. I'm right here with you. I promise nothing will happen." 

Fernando gulps, closes his eyes and opens the door. He fights with the urge to slam it shut again, trying to listen to Sergio's calming voice. "Done," he whispers. 

"Awesome. Go out now. Keep talking to me, Fer, it's fine. Don't forget to close the door." 

Fernando walks out with unsteady steps and closes the door quickly not to let himself run back. Sergio helps him get out of the building and find the cab. Fernando lets out a relieved breath once he's inside the car. 

"Thank you," he tells Sergio, "I'm sorry. You're going to be late because of me." 

"No, I still have some time left. How is it going with the comic?" 

"Great," Fernando says brightly, "I can't believe we're going to publish the first volume soon, Sergi. The guys all are so excited." 

It took him almost two months to get used to being around people he didn't know, but now Fernando can easily communicate with John's staff. 

"I told you it's going to be great," Sergio says. 

Fernando smiles. "Yeah. How are you, Sergi? How is the new show going?" 

"Still working on it," Sergio answers, "Uh, Nando, so about that. Looks like I'll need another week before returning to London." 

Fernando breathes in sharply. "Another week?" 

"I'm so sorry, Nando. There is so much to do. I can't tell them I'm going to leave sooner. They're already doing me a favor by postponing the first show for a month, so I can stay with you in London. It's just two more weeks, Fer, and I'll be right back." 

Fernando nods shakily. "Not two weeks," he says, "Sixteen days. It’s Friday." 

"Fer, you're doing great alone. Besides Israel will be there for three days next week. And then Xabi is going to visit London for business. He'll stay with you for a day or two." 

"Yeah, you-you can stay as long as you want. Dr. Esposito helps me. And John too. I'm fine, really, Sergio, don’t worry about me." 

Fernando bites his lip and starts breathing deeply again. Two more weeks without Sergio. He can do it, he survived the first week, he can do it. 

On the other side of the line, in Madrid, Sergio is biting his lip too. Fernando says he's fine, but he doesn't sound like it at all. If it were up to him, Sergio would have never left Fernando alone, but one of the best radio stations in the city invited him to host a new show and he had to leave London after one and a half month. Maybe it will do Fernando good do stay alone for some time. He's made a lot of progress with the help of the psychologist, his work and Sergio, but it doesn't keep the Sevillan from worrying about him every minute of the day. 

"Sergio, you're still there?" 

"Yeah, Nando, I'm sorry," Sergio says quietly, "And I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I promised I wouldn't, but I didn't keep my word." 

"You're doing that now, Sergio," Fernando says, "Don't apologize. I'm really fine, I just, uh…" 

"What, Fer?" 

"I just miss you," Fernando whispers. 

"You do?" Sergio chokes out. 

"Yeah." 

"I miss you too. I miss you so much, Nando," Sergio says, choking on emotions. 

"Just don't start crying, I'm enough of a crybaby for the two of us," Fernando laughs. 

Sergio laughs too, wiping away a traitorous tear. He hasn't heard Fernando make a joke for so long. It sounds like a small miracle for him, another sign of Fernando's slow recovery. Even if the subject of the joke is the direct consequence of his too long ordeal - Fernando was never a crybaby before. He wishes he could swallow the lump in his throat, so he would answer something, so they would start their banter, would start teasing each other, like they used to do. One day they will, one day Fernando will be healed, free of the terrifying ghost of his past. One day Fernando won't need him anymore. And that day will be one of the happiest days in Sergio's life, even if Fernando decides that he and Sergio are just going to be friends. 

"I wish I was there with you," Sergio sighs. 

"I wish that too, Sergi," Fernando says. 

Sergio thinks that this is one of the happiest days in his life too. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_Iker's grip on his hand was so tight it hurt, but Fernando didn't dare complain. He didn't want Iker to remind him that he was so pathetic he could have gotten lost in the mall. He didn't even know why Iker had taken him to the mall. His parents had wanted to visit him today, but he had been forced to tell them they were busy._

_"Here, this will look good on you," Iker said, showing a shirt to Fernando._

_Fernando didn't think so, but he'd never been good at fashion and didn't want to offend Iker now, when he was in a good mood and wanted to do something pleasant for Fernando._

_"I'll try it," he smiled._

_"Yeah, try it, I'll buy it for you," Iker said._

_Fernando quickly put on the shirt and looked in the mirror. This was so not his style, this was more Iker's style and he wasn't sure he looked good in it._

_"You look great," Iker said, "We take it."_

_"Are you sure?" Fernando said, "I think it's a little..."_

_"Are you paying for it?" Iker interrupted._

_"N-no," Fernando said, reddening._

_"Right, I am," Iker said, "I pay for what you wear, for what you eat. So I get to decide what you should wear and what you should eat."_

_"If I didn't quit my job..."_

_"But you did," Iker snapped, "Go change back, take that shirt and wait for me here. I want to try this suit."_

_"Okay."_

_"Don't move."_

_"I won't."_

_Fernando changed into his shirt and started waiting for Iker, looking at the people in the shop. His eyes followed a young couple, talking happily about something, an elderly man, looking confused at the scarves, he saw a beautiful young girl, pulling a hat over her boyfriend's head. And when the man took off the hat, he saw Sergio._

_His heart did a funny thing in his chest, as though wanting to jump out. He took a step forward, then quickly retreated, hiding behind coats. What was he going to tell him? The last time he'd seen Sergio, the younger man had confessed his love to him and after that had refused to have any contact with Fernando._

_He looked so happy now, laughing and joking with that girl, so beautiful that Fernando's heart ached. The desire to go to him, to hug him and to hear his voice again was overwhelming. But why would he need Fernando now? Why would he want Fernando to remind him about his pain?_

_Sergio and the girl went to the door without buying anything. If Fernando wanted to make his presence known, he had to act now. But why? Sergio wouldn't like it and Iker had told him to stay here. He would get angry if Fernando went after Sergio. He'd always been jealous of him._

_So Fernando stood and watched them leave, swallowing the lump in his throat, missing his childhood friend and first love so much it hurt, wanting his past life back and not daring admit it to himself._

_Iker's tight grip was suddenly back on his wrist, shaking him out of his thoughts._

_"We're leaving," he said, dragging Fernando with him._

_He paid for the clothes and they left the mall. Fernando couldn't help looking around, hoping to see Sergio one more time, though he was scared to imagine what would happen then._

_"Who are you looking for?" Iker growled._

_"No one," Fernando said quickly._

_They went to the parking, sat in their car and that was when Fernando saw Sergio again._

_Iker saw him too. He quickly rolled up the windows and drove away._

_"So this is who you were looking for?" he shouted, "When did you see him?"_

_"He was in the shop, you were in the fitting room," Fernando said._

_"Oh, how convenient," Iker laughed humorlessly, "Did you have a tearful reunion? With hugs and kisses and all?"_

_"No, he-he was with a girl."_

_"With a girl? You got jealous, baby? Did the old love make itself known again?"_

_"Iker! You know that I love you."_

_"I remember you told me how much it hurt you to see him with various girls." Iker laughed again. "I don't get how desperate you must have been to keep going your affair even though you knew you were just a fuck for him. Was the sex that good?"_

_Fernando didn't answer anything. He kept staring at his knees, letting Iker's cruel words hit him. It hurt, but there was truth in them, wasn't there?_

_"Please, stop it," he whispered._

_Iker glanced at him with a sneer, but didn't say anything more. Fernando kept his eyes closed for the rest of the ride, trying to get Sergio out of his head. He had another man next to him, who hadn't made him wait for years to confess his love for him. He had Iker. He needed nothing more._

_Iker stopped the car next to their house. Fernando wanted to get out, but Iker caught him by the hair, eliciting a surprised cry from the younger man._

_"You're mine, Fernando, remember that," he hissed into his face, not giving the other man a chance to open his mouth, "You're only mine. Never forget."_

_"I won't," Fernando whispered._

_"That's good," Iker said, "Now let's go home. I'll prove to you that you're mine."_

_He put a chaste kiss on Fernando's lips and released his grip on his hair. Fernando let out a shuddering breath and followed Iker to the house._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> I'm sorry for dragging out the update. All of a sudden real life really wanted my participation, but now I'm back and I'm going to read everything I've missed.
> 
> I want to thank you all for the overwhelming support for this fic. Thanks everyone who read, left kudos and commented. I can't even begin to tell you how important it is to me. Thank you! I'm going to miss this story and I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter.

Fernando stumbles inside the apartment and slumps on the armchair. 

"God, it was tiring," he says, kicking away his shoes and closing his eyes. 

Sergio smiles and sits on the armrest next to him. Fernando really looks tired, but he also looks happy, which is something Sergio can never get enough of. Fernando's been nervous and jittery all day long. Sergio can't blame his friend for that. During the presentation of the comic book a lot of times he looked close to being sick or having a breakdown, but he was able to pull himself together. 

"You did great today," Sergio says, lightly caressing his arm. Fernando cracks open an eye and stifles a yawn. Sergio chuckles. "Come on, to the shower and then to bed." 

Fernando raises his brows. "Mum, is that you?" 

"Dr. Esposito told me to make sure you get enough of sleep," Sergio rolls his eyes, "Especially after stressful days." 

"It wasn't stressful," Fernando objects. 

"Should I remind you what you were telling me in the morning?" Sergio grins. 

"I didn't say anything." 

"Oh, you did," Sergio laughs, then starts mimicking Fernando's voice, "Oh God, what am I going to do? No one is going to like the comic book. Why are we even publishing it? Why does there have to be a formal presentation? I'm going to make a fool of myself. They're going to ask me questions. I don't know how to answer..." 

"Shut up," Fernando mutters, "It was scary, okay?" 

"But it went well," Sergio says, "You charmed everyone." 

"We still don't know if anyone is going to buy it." 

"Oh, Fer, stop worrying, everything is going to be fine." 

Fernando sighs. "You promised," he says, giving a crooked smile to Sergio, "Going to shower now and then sleep, like Dr. Esposito said." 

Sergio blows him a kiss. "I'll tell him you've been so good." 

Fernando flips him off and walks to the bathroom. 

When he comes back, he finds Sergio in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. Fernando smiles to him. "Why haven't you gone to sleep?" he asks, "It's late." 

"I was waiting for you," Sergio says. 

"You don't need to babysit me all the time," Fernando says quietly, "I'm fine." 

"I'm sorry," Sergio murmurs, bowing his head. 

"No, I didn't mean it that way," Fernando hurries to assure him, "I just don't want you to spend all your time on me. I mean if you want to sleep, you can go to sleep. If you want to go to Madrid, then go. I-I can stay alone. I lived alone for three weeks and I'm still alive. If you want..." 

"Fer." 

"What?" 

"Stop with that nonsense." 

Fernando smiles. "Okay." 

"Now lie down and sleep." 

Fernando does what he's told. Sergio kisses him on the cheek and bids him goodnight. 

"Sergi," Fernando calls when he's already at the door. 

"Nando?" 

"Umm," Fernando says, chewing his cheek, "I've just been thinking... In Madrid you always stayed with me, slept in the same bed, right? Why don't you do that now?" 

"Because we have two bedrooms here," Sergio laughs, "John really takes care of you." 

"Oh," Fernando burns bright red, "Yeah, I didn't think about it. Sorry, I... I-I'm just tired." 

Sergio turns to leave, but then suddenly stops. "Fer," he said, "Do you... want me to stay with you?" 

Fernando sucks in a breath. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'd like to." 

Sergio stays with his back to him for a few seconds and Fernando already wants to tell him that it was a joke and he can go, but then Sergio quickly turns to him and with a big grin on his face jumps on the bed. "Better now?" he asks. 

Still blushing, Fernando nods. 

"And why?" Sergio asks. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Why do you want me to stay with you?" Sergio says, "Are you scared?" 

"N-no," Fernando shakes his head, "I'm not scared. Not anymore." 

"Then why?" Sergio whispers. 

Fernando swallows. His heart is beating madly and he feels like a kid again - going to confess his crush to his best friend. He didn't do it last time, didn't have the guts, knowing that Sergio didn't think of him that way, but now he knows he's got a chance. "Because..." he starts, "I..." 

He looks up at Sergio, desperately trying to convey his feelings with his eyes, but Sergio doesn't seem to get it, still staring at him questioningly. Fernando huffs and moves forward, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to Sergio's. 

Sergio kisses him back and Fernando can swear it's the best kiss in his life. Pity that it doesn't last long, because the younger man pulls back and pushes Fernando away. 

"What was that?" he croaks. 

"A kiss," Fernando answers simply. 

Sergio glares at him. " _Why_ was that?" 

"You asked me a question, it was the answer." 

"Fer, please don't fuck with me." 

"Well, if you don't want to..." 

"Fer, don't turn this into a joke." 

Sergio's voice is trembling and Fernando suddenly realizes that he is just as scared as Fernando himself. "Sergi," he says quietly and waits until Sergio looks at him, "This is not a joke. I want this." 

"Nando, if you do this just because you want to thank me or..." 

"Sergio," Fernando interrupts, "I loved you for years until..." He swallows. "But I think a part of me never forgot you. And now... Now I-I think those feelings... They are back." 

"Nando," Sergio whispers, "Do you love me?" 

Fernando closes his eyes and nods slowly. "I love you." 

He hears Sergio gasp, but keeps his eyes closed. His heart is in his throat and his palms are sweaty. What if he's wrong? What if Sergio doesn't love him anymore and considers him just a friend? He opens his mouth to apologize, but bites his lip when Sergio takes his hand. 

"I..." Sergio's voice is breaking, "I love you too." 

Fernando shivers. He takes a moment to get his breathing under control, then opens his eyes. 

"Then," he says, "Don't ever push me back, when I kiss you." 

He leans over Sergio and captures his lips again. Sergio doesn't even think of pushing him back. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando was pacing restlessly in front of Sergio's house. He was late as always and they were going to miss the beginning of "The Two Towers". What if he'd decided not to come? It would be so like Sergio to suddenly change his mind and go to do something completely different. He just wished it wouldn't be the case today. Please, just not today. Today was the day when he was finally going to tell Sergio about his feelings. If he chickened out today, he would never have the courage to do it again. He didn't care what would happen. He just wanted to get it off from his chest, he wanted Sergio to know it, to know that he loved him, to know that he couldn't think about anyone else but him. Israel was right. He couldn't know what would happen if he kept silent. Maybe Sergio would give him a chance? Maybe he felt something for Fernando too? Or maybe he'd freak out and never want to see Fernando again... No. Sergio wouldn't do that to him. They were friends no matter what and Sergio would never abandon him._

_He was still debating it, when someone poked him in the side. Fernando jumped up with a gasp and turned back to see Sergio laughing whole-heartedly._

_"You're such an idiot," he admonished him, "We're going to be late because of you."_

_"Stop sulking," Sergio grinned, "Let's go to see your Harry Potter."_

_"It's not Harry...." Fernando started, but then realized that Sergio was just mocking him and sent him a glare._

_Sergio blew him a kiss and Fernando blushed like a schoolboy. Dammit, Sergio was just joking and his knees already weakened. How was he even going to tell him about his feelings? He had to find courage. Well, he had almost three hours of "The Two Towers" to think about it._

_Sergio wasn't a fan, but he still looked much more engrossed in the movie than Fernando, who instead of watching the screen was thinking about what he was going to tell Sergio and how much he'd like to kiss him right now. He didn't even realize how his hand crept to the right and found Sergio's. He held his breath when Sergio's fingers closed around his, his heart beating quickly and loudly. Sergio turned to him with a smile, still not letting go of his head, and Fernando felt his heart skip a bit._

_"My condolences, Fer," Sergio whispered solemnly, "Your Aragog will always stay in our hearts."_

_He started shaking with suppressed laughter and Fernando snatched his hand away._

_"It's Aragorn," he gritted out, "And he's not dead."_

_"You have a crush on him, don't you?" Sergio whispered mischievously._

_I have a crush on you, idiot, Fernando wanted to say, but he just crossed his arms on his chest and stared at the screen. Later. He'd tell Sergio later, after the movie. He was planning on inviting Sergio to his place, he was alone tonight. He sucked at cooking, so they would order Chinese or whatever Sergio wanted and he had chocolate cake waiting in the fridge. He'd even bought candles, but he wasn't sure he would light them. Sergio would most likely just laugh and make fun of him._

_A smile appeared on his face and he rolled his eyes at himself. Whatever Sergio did made him smile like an idiot. Well, except the cases when he went to dates with another one of his girlfriends. But Fernando wasn't going to think about that now. He was going to think about their date, because this was a date, even if Sergio didn't know about it yet._

_They had a little walk after the movie and Sergio kept asking questions about the parts of the movie he didn't really understand or found weird and Fernando explained everything patiently. They took a bus back home and Fernando casually invited Sergio in._

_"Do you want to order Chinese?" he asked._

_"As if I'd ever say no," Sergio grinned._

_Fernando smiled and took the phone to order the food._

_"Do you want something to drink?" he called from the kitchen._

_"You have beer?" Sergio asked._

_"Only orange juice for you," Fernando said._

_"Fucker," Sergio muttered._

_Fernando took out two wine glasses, poured some for himself and less for Sergio. He looked at the candles, lying on the kitchen counter, but decided against them. This wasn't some chick flick._

_"Wine?" Sergio said surprised, taking the glass, "We're in a sophisticated mood today, aren't we?"_

_"How do you know that word?" Fernando shot back._

_Sergio just glared at him and took a sip. Fernando sat next to him on the couch, touching his side with his elbow. It felt warm._

_"Sergi," he said, his throat dry, "I have to tell you something..."_

_"Tell me," Sergio smiled._

_Fernando swallowed and hid his hands behind his back, so Sergio wouldn't see them shaking. This is ridiculous, just tell him, he shouted at himself in his head, but his tongue seemed to weight a ton and he had difficulty moving his lips._

_The doorbell rang, making Fernando jump up in fright. Sergio snorted amused._

_"It's our food, not the Orcs," he laughed and went to open the door, returning with two packages. "Finally," he said, "I'm starving. Let's eat, Nando."_

_The orange chicken was almost finished, when Sergio asked, "So what did you want to tell me?"_

_Fernando chocked on a bit of chicken._

_"Hey, eat calmer," Sergio said, pouring him water and rubbing his back._

_Fernando gulped down the whole glass._

_"Are you okay?" Sergio asked._

_Fernando nodded._

_"Good," Sergio grinned, "I wouldn't want you to die on me tonight, just before my date."_

_"A-a d-date?" Fernando stuttered, "You have a date tonight?"_

_"Yeah, in an hour or so."_

_"So you won't stay?" Fernando murmured miserably._

_"I'd like to, Fer, but I have to go. Don't want to be late. I like her."_

_"But I-I... I have chocolate cake."_

_Sergio laughed. "Another time, Nando. She looks just like Éowyn, I swear. Could you ever turn down Aragorn?"_

_I would for you, Fernando thought, but didn't say anything, even though he wanted to shout that he loved Sergio, wanted to lock the door and never let him go, wanted to kiss him and be kissed back, he wanted it so bad._

_"What was that you wanted to tell me?" Sergio asked._

_"Nothing," Fernando said, "Never mind."_

_"You aren't terminally ill or something, are you?" Sergio said._

_Fernando shook his head._

_"Then what is it? Tell me," Sergio asked, "Are you... are you straight?"_

_He laughed loudly when Fernando glared at him, but didn't insist anymore. He drank his wine and left soon after. Fernando remained sitting at the table, nibbling on a piece of the chocolate cake under the light of the candles._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fernando feels dizzy from the couple of drinks he's had, from the loud music and from happiness. Everyone is whispering or shouting something into his ear, congratulating and patting him on the back. And to think that just in the morning he wasn't really sure about this party, because he was one of his 'I don't even want to think about going out of the house' moods. He's got those from time to time, but he's fighting. 

Now he looks around and can't believe how easily he can bear to be around so many people. He searches for the one responsible of his well-being today and finds him chatting with Israel and David. 

As if feeling Fernando's eyes on him, Sergio turns back and smiles. He excuses himself and makes his way to the older man, sits next to him and holds his hand gently. 

"Admit that it was a brilliant idea to organize this," he shouts. 

Fernando rolls his eyes. "Getting wasted to celebrate the Spanish-language publication of the comic book? Yeah, definitely a brilliant idea." 

"Getting wasted?" Sergio snorts, "First, it's just you getting wasted, I'm driving today. Second, you've had one beer. Come on, Nando, you're better than that." 

"Two beers," Fernando corrects him, "And I _was_ better than that." 

"It's okay," Sergio whispers, "I like you more this way." 

Fernando grins. "Oh, I'm flattered," he mocks. 

Sergio punches his shoulder playfully. Fernando laughs, then turns to him and suddenly presses his lips to Sergio's. Overcoming the surprise, Sergio answers passionately and then pulls away breathlessly. 

"Wow," he says, "No more beer for you." 

"As if I don't do this while sober," Fernando chuckles. 

"Yes, but not in front of _everyone_." 

Fernando looks around. Israel is desperately trying to ignore them with Xabi's help, Nagore is smiling, Patricia and Maria are giggling and David is nudging Pepe, who's crying something about his eyes. 

"Oh, shut up," Fernando says and pulls Sergio back to his lips. 

Pepe gags demonstratively, but neither Fernando, nor Sergio pay attention to him. 

A few hours later, after saying goodbye to everyone, Sergio takes Fernando's hand on their way to the car. It's cold and they hurry to get to the warm comfort of the car. Sergio opens the door and gets in, waiting for Fernando, but the older man just remains standing next to the passenger door, staring at something. 

"Fer?" Sergio calls and that's when he sees a shadow and understands what Fernando is staring at. He jumps out of the car and runs to the shadow. It moves to the streetlight and Sergio finally sees its face, a face he hoped he and Fernando would never see again. 

He immediately stands in front of Fernando, shielding him with his body. But Fernando puts his hand on Sergio's shoulder, gently pushes him away and steps forward. 

"What do you want?" he says. 

His voice wavers just a little, and Sergio's heart swells with pride. His Fernando is getting better despite all the setbacks, despite the days when he just hides in his room and doesn't want to talk to anyone, despite the nightmares that sometimes wake him up in the middle of the night. 

"I heard you've become successful," Iker croaks, "Wanted to congratulate you." 

Sergio clenches his fists and tries to launch at Iker, but Fernando shakes his head and Sergio freezes. Fernando doesn't say anything and doesn't even flinch, when Iker comes closer. Sergio does, because Iker doesn't look like the man he knew at all. His hair is longer than usual, unkempt and disheveled. His eyes are tired and bloodshot. He has a black bruise under his left eye and a deep scratch on his right cheek. His clothes look dirty as if he's slept in them for a few nights. He's reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. 

"Baby," Iker says, "I miss you." 

"I don't," Fernando deadpans. 

"I can't live without you," Iker says, "Look at me, look who I've become without you. I lost everything. I want you back. I want my life back." 

"I don't want that, Iker," Fernando says calmly. 

"I promise everything will be fine," Iker says as if he hasn't even heard Fernando, "I won't lay a finger on you. You can keep drawing and working. You can see your family whenever you want. You can visit your friends, even..." He throws a hateful glance at Sergio. "Even him. I promise I'll make you happy. We'll be happy like we used to be, remember?" 

"You should have thought about it before," Fernando says quietly. 

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, baby," Iker says, "I hurt you, but it won't happen again. Never again. Just come back to me, please, baby, come back home. I'll be so good for you. I promise. Please, baby, come back." 

Fernando hesitates and Sergio's heart freezes with fear. What if he says yes? What if he goes with him? There've been a few rare moments, moments of intense pain for both Fernando and Sergio, when Fernando hit the rock bottom and cried that he should have never left Iker and wanted to go back to him. Sergio knows that those moments are dictated by deep and still unhealed wounds in Fernando's subconscious, but he can't help but wonder if Fernando still loves Iker. It's stupid, it's so stupid, but what if... What if it isn't? 

Fernando licks his lips, looks into Iker's eyes and shakes his head. "Too late," he says. 

Iker bows his head and when looks up again, there is animalistic fury in his eyes. "You sleep with him?" he snarls, "You're fucking him, right?" 

"Right, he is," Sergio sneers. 

"I'll fucking kill you," Iker growls. 

He runs to Sergio, but stops, when Fernando stands in front of him. "If you dare to touch Sergio," he says calmly, "I'll slit your throat." 

Iker looks at him with wide eyes. Fernando turns to Sergio. "Let's go," he says. 

Sergio nods and follows him to the car, leaving Iker staring after them. 

"You ruined my life," Iker shouts when they're already in the car. 

"Eye for an eye," Fernando whispers. 

He throws his head back and closes his eyes. Sergio immediately starts driving, but stops just a street away. He glances at his lover. Fernando's breathing is shallow, his eyes are still closed, and when Sergio takes his hand, he feels it trembling. He takes it to his lips. 

"I'm so proud of you," he murmurs, kissing Fernando's knuckles. 

"I'll never be able to leave him behind," Fernando says hollowly, "You know that, right, Sergio? He'll never leave me alone, will he?" 

"Maybe he won't," Sergio says, "But neither will I." 

Fernando slowly opens his eyes and gives Sergio a warm smile. "Let's go home, Sergi," he says. 

Sergio nods, starts the car and drives to their home. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fernando stuck his head out of the corner and looked around. "No one's here," he said, "Come on."_

_Sergio worried his lip between his teeth and stretched his hand hidden behind his back. The knife blade shone under the sun. Fernando's eyes shone too._

_"Your mum won't notice?" he asked._

_"No, she's watching her favorite show," Sergio said, "But it won't take long, will it, Nando? When the show is over, mum will go to make dinner. I have to take the knife back by then."_

_"No, it won't take long," Fernando assured him, "We just make a little cut and mix our bloods. Give me your hand."_

_Sergio frowned and involuntarily hid his hand behind his back again. "Are you sure it's done like that?" he asked suspiciously._

_"Sure," Fernando shrugged, "I read it in a book Mari gave me. It's about these two boys, who make a vow this way to stay friends forever."_

_"And they never fight?" Sergio asked._

_"Even if they do, they always make up then."_

_"Like we do?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Then why do we need to cut our hands?" Sergio whined, "It will hurt."_

_"To make a vow," Fernando explained, "I'll just make a little cut, Sergi, I promise it won't hurt."_

_Sergio thought for a few moments, then put his hand in Fernando's outstretched one. "Just a little cut," he warned._

_Fernando nodded solemnly. "Then you'll need to cut mine," he said._

_He took a deep breath and brought the knife closer to Sergio's hand. "Ready?" he whispered._

_Sergio closed his eyes and nodded. Fernando gulped and quickly made a small cut on Sergio's palm. The younger boy whimpered a little and opened his eyes, but didn't withdraw his hand. A few drops of blood were shining on his palm._

_"Hurts?" Fernando asked scared._

_Sergio shook his head. The older boy let out a relieved sigh and gave the knife to his friend. "Now you," he said._

_Sergio took the knife with a trembling hand and biting his lip to focus, cut Fernando's palm. Blood trickled down from the wound and Fernando grimaced._

_"It's bleeding more than mine," Sergio cried._

_"No, it's fine," Fernando said, "Now let's mix our bloods. Quick."_

_He took Sergio's hand in his and squeezed it. They both winced a little in pain, but didn't pull back. They were big boys._

_"Do we make the vow now?" Sergio asked._

_"Mhm. I say it and you repeat, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_Fernando took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I vow to you, Sergio, to stay your friend, to love you, to help you and to care about you till the day I die. If I break my vow, let the ravens and wolves tear up my body."_

_Sergio was looking at Fernando mesmerized while he was speaking, trying to memorize the words. Fernando opened his eyes and looked seriously at Sergio. "Now you," he said._

_"I vow to you, Fernando, to stay your friend, to love you, to help you and to care about you till the day I die," Sergio whispered, "If I break my vow, let the-the..._

_"Ravens," Fernando reminded him._

_"Let the ravens and wolves tear up my body," Sergio finished._

_They looked at each other and lowered their hands._

_"That's it," Fernando said, "Now we are connected by a vow."_

_"Your hand is bleeding," Sergio said, "Let's go put the knife in the kitchen and wash our hands."_

_They sneaked into Sergio's house and moved to the kitchen. Sergio was going to put the knife in its place, when his mother entered._

_"What are you doing here?" she asked, "What are you doing with the knife, Sergio?"_

_Sergio and Fernando looked at each other and then down. Mrs. Ramos strode to them and stood in front of them with her hands on her hips. "What's going on here?" she asked sternly._

_"Nothing, mum," Sergio assured her._

_"Are you lying to me, Sergio?" Mrs. Ramos said and then gasped, "Oh God, Fernando, are you wounded? Is that blood?"_

_"No, Mrs. Ramos, it's nothing. I'm fine."_

_"Sergio!" Her voice was higher. "What have you done?"_

_"He hasn't done anything," Fernando said, "It's my fault. I convinced him to steal the knife."_

_Mrs. Ramos shook her head. "Come here, both of you, we have to treat your wounds. Then I'll take you home, Nando. And you, young man," she turned to Sergio, "are grounded for a week."_

_"But mum..."_

_"Mrs. Ramos, Sergio's not to blame..."_

_"I don't want to hear anything. Quick to the bathroom."_

_Half and hour later Fernando was sitting sulking in his room. The explanations that it was a vow, that he'd read about it in a book, that it was important, didn't convince his mother. Neither did his request to be grounded together with Sergio. So he was sitting on his bed, too upset even to draw._

_"Tell Mari to give you that book and you'll see," he cried._

_When he received no answer, he jumped off the bed and ran to the door. "Mum, tell her to show you the book."_

_"Fernando, you don't play with knives," his mother cried from downstairs._

_Fernando punched the door frustrated and whimpered when the cut in his palm made itself known. He fell on his bed, crossed his arms on his chest and started waiting. Soon his parents retreated to their room and he quietly sneaked out of the house. He thought Maria saw him, but she didn't say anything. He went behind Sergio's house and started making pig sounds. That was their secret signal. He hoped Sergio would hear him and would be able to sneak out too._

_Sure enough, ten minutes later Sergio appeared from the corner of the house, grinning brightly. Fernando ran to him._

_"How are you?" he asked, "Were your parents too angry?"_

_"Yeah, gave me a lecture," Sergio pouted, "I'm grounded for a week."_

_"Me too," Fernando said sadly, "But don't worry. We made the vow, they can't do anything about it."_

_"Yeah," Sergio smiled, looking at the plaster on his palm, "It means we're going to be friends forever, right, Nando? Always together."_

_"Sure," Fernando said, "Always together. Till the end of times."_

  



End file.
